Van Weasel
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vanweezer.bsky.social
Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.

Pronouns: any/all
Just had the highest thought I ever thought
February 12, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Dentist: Have you been flossing?

Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day
February 12, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Please boost. Im doing delivery to make a little money but it's barely keeping food on the table. It could be another two months before all of the issues with my bank will be settled if they are at all. Thank you and I love you 🖤
February 11, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Dark comedy about a billionaire who hears the phrase, "Kindness costs you nothing," and drives himself insane trying to find a way to monetize kindness
November 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
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Every billionaire: "I'm really into riding my bike and thought he was a PEDAL-phile."
Every billionaire: "I only went to the island to read the articles."
February 12, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Ok: fontina, gruyere, and a garlic goat cheese get the Van Weezer grilled cheese stamp of approval
February 12, 2026 at 12:51 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
i think at minimum democrats should be able to concede that "don't upset the right" is a failed strategy
February 11, 2026 at 12:52 PM
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I'm not a big enough account to do the anonymous question app thing so AMA with your whole chest
Thank God it's Friday because I'm drunk
August 1, 2024 at 12:09 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
again: what’s it like working in healthcare during a federal occupation?

i implore comrades of #medsky 🩺and to a certain extent #lawsky ⚖️ to pay attention to what they’re doing to us here & over prepare as much as feasible
February 11, 2026 at 11:42 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Bluesky is a website designed to invent new sentences never before uttered by humanity
Mister president I jacked off to Melania in theaters please do not arrest me
February 9, 2026 at 2:49 PM
I've just unlocked a new posting meta, stay tuned
February 11, 2026 at 11:57 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Django Mueller, the meanest gunslinger this side of the Potomac.
February 11, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
turns out corporate companies like pepsi and walmart are legit out to fuck you over as much as humanly possible, and to keep all grocery prices high as fuck www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhV...
We Uncovered the Scheme Keeping Grocery Prices High
YouTube video by More Perfect Union
www.youtube.com
February 11, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
caller 12 you're on bluesky at night what's on your mind
November 11, 2024 at 3:31 AM
This looks like a cat wearing a yeti costume
Everybody stop what you're doing and look at this cat I'm sitting
February 11, 2026 at 11:14 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
For me, heaven is a hot tub shepherd's pie
January 2, 2024 at 11:58 PM
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[to british person who is posting bad] you should post more bangers and less mash
February 11, 2026 at 10:52 PM
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I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.

It's very funny
February 11, 2026 at 6:14 PM
Reposted by Van Weasel
omg van weasel is bigfoot
I look like this, if you even care
February 11, 2026 at 9:21 PM
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I look like this, if you even care
January 30, 2024 at 12:34 PM
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January 23, 2026 at 5:33 AM
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February 2, 2026 at 5:54 AM
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This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM