Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.
Pronouns: any/all
Pronouns: any/all
Just had the highest thought I ever thought
February 12, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Just had the highest thought I ever thought
Reposted by Van Weasel
Dentist: Have you been flossing?
Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day
Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day
February 12, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Dentist: Have you been flossing?
Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day
Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day
Reposted by Van Weasel
Please boost. Im doing delivery to make a little money but it's barely keeping food on the table. It could be another two months before all of the issues with my bank will be settled if they are at all. Thank you and I love you 🖤
February 11, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Please boost. Im doing delivery to make a little money but it's barely keeping food on the table. It could be another two months before all of the issues with my bank will be settled if they are at all. Thank you and I love you 🖤
Reposted by Van Weasel
Dark comedy about a billionaire who hears the phrase, "Kindness costs you nothing," and drives himself insane trying to find a way to monetize kindness
November 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Dark comedy about a billionaire who hears the phrase, "Kindness costs you nothing," and drives himself insane trying to find a way to monetize kindness
Reposted by Van Weasel
Every billionaire: "I'm really into riding my bike and thought he was a PEDAL-phile."
Every billionaire: "I only went to the island to read the articles."
February 12, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Every billionaire: "I'm really into riding my bike and thought he was a PEDAL-phile."
Ok: fontina, gruyere, and a garlic goat cheese get the Van Weezer grilled cheese stamp of approval
February 12, 2026 at 12:51 AM
Ok: fontina, gruyere, and a garlic goat cheese get the Van Weezer grilled cheese stamp of approval
Reposted by Van Weasel
i think at minimum democrats should be able to concede that "don't upset the right" is a failed strategy
February 11, 2026 at 12:52 PM
i think at minimum democrats should be able to concede that "don't upset the right" is a failed strategy
Reposted by Van Weasel
I'm not a big enough account to do the anonymous question app thing so AMA with your whole chest
Thank God it's Friday because I'm drunk
August 1, 2024 at 12:09 AM
I'm not a big enough account to do the anonymous question app thing so AMA with your whole chest
Reposted by Van Weasel
Bluesky is a website designed to invent new sentences never before uttered by humanity
Mister president I jacked off to Melania in theaters please do not arrest me
February 9, 2026 at 2:49 PM
Bluesky is a website designed to invent new sentences never before uttered by humanity
I've just unlocked a new posting meta, stay tuned
February 11, 2026 at 11:57 PM
I've just unlocked a new posting meta, stay tuned
Reposted by Van Weasel
Django Mueller, the meanest gunslinger this side of the Potomac.
February 11, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Django Mueller, the meanest gunslinger this side of the Potomac.
Reposted by Van Weasel
turns out corporate companies like pepsi and walmart are legit out to fuck you over as much as humanly possible, and to keep all grocery prices high as fuck www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhV...
We Uncovered the Scheme Keeping Grocery Prices High
YouTube video by More Perfect Union
www.youtube.com
February 11, 2026 at 11:13 PM
turns out corporate companies like pepsi and walmart are legit out to fuck you over as much as humanly possible, and to keep all grocery prices high as fuck www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhV...
Reposted by Van Weasel
caller 12 you're on bluesky at night what's on your mind
November 11, 2024 at 3:31 AM
caller 12 you're on bluesky at night what's on your mind
This looks like a cat wearing a yeti costume
Everybody stop what you're doing and look at this cat I'm sitting
February 11, 2026 at 11:14 PM
This looks like a cat wearing a yeti costume
Reposted by Van Weasel
For me, heaven is a hot tub shepherd's pie
January 2, 2024 at 11:58 PM
For me, heaven is a hot tub shepherd's pie
Reposted by Van Weasel
[to british person who is posting bad] you should post more bangers and less mash
February 11, 2026 at 10:52 PM
[to british person who is posting bad] you should post more bangers and less mash
Reposted by Van Weasel
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
Reposted by Van Weasel
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
February 11, 2026 at 6:14 PM
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
Reposted by Van Weasel
omg van weasel is bigfoot
February 11, 2026 at 9:21 PM
omg van weasel is bigfoot
Reposted by Van Weasel
I look like this, if you even care
January 30, 2024 at 12:34 PM
I look like this, if you even care
Reposted by Van Weasel
January 23, 2026 at 5:33 AM
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February 2, 2026 at 5:54 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis