Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.
Pronouns: any/all
Pronouns: any/all
Reposted by Van Weasel
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
February 11, 2026 at 6:14 PM
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
Reposted by Van Weasel
omg van weasel is bigfoot
February 11, 2026 at 9:21 PM
omg van weasel is bigfoot
Reposted by Van Weasel
I look like this, if you even care
January 30, 2024 at 12:34 PM
I look like this, if you even care
Reposted by Van Weasel
January 23, 2026 at 5:33 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
February 2, 2026 at 5:54 AM
Reposted by Van Weasel
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I'm about to be mother fucking 40 and I can't even afford a midlife crisis
As a world renowned expert on Valentine's Day, please send me your planned Valentine's Day cards to be certified with the international registry
February 11, 2026 at 8:24 PM
As a world renowned expert on Valentine's Day, please send me your planned Valentine's Day cards to be certified with the international registry
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
February 11, 2026 at 6:14 PM
Imagine thinking farts aren't funny. You and everything in the universe is made out of star dust and sometimes that shit needs you to crop dust a grocery store aisle.
It's very funny
It's very funny
"this is the only ethical form of cannibalism" I say to myself as I buy a kitchen mandoline
February 11, 2026 at 5:53 PM
"this is the only ethical form of cannibalism" I say to myself as I buy a kitchen mandoline
Thank god it's Friday
February 11, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Thank god it's Friday
Reposted by Van Weasel
if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now
February 11, 2026 at 1:56 AM
if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now
Today is an important holiday everyone is forgetting
February 11, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Today is an important holiday everyone is forgetting
Reposted by Van Weasel
I use precum to schedule my skeets through peak refractory periods
February 10, 2026 at 10:21 PM
I use precum to schedule my skeets through peak refractory periods
Reposted by Van Weasel
Is there another secret room at the Capitol where Congressmen can read the translated Bad Bunny lyrics
February 11, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Is there another secret room at the Capitol where Congressmen can read the translated Bad Bunny lyrics
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
Safety first means using a stud finder before suction cupping your dildo to the wall
January 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Safety first means using a stud finder before suction cupping your dildo to the wall
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
just found out the puppy bowl (12mil) got twice as many viewers as the tpusa halftime show (6mil) and im extremely disappointed at how few viewers that is. the puppy bowl deserved better.
February 10, 2026 at 11:35 PM
just found out the puppy bowl (12mil) got twice as many viewers as the tpusa halftime show (6mil) and im extremely disappointed at how few viewers that is. the puppy bowl deserved better.
Reposted by Van Weasel
Chinese GF has informed me this is called "scrubbing the wok" (hence why there's foamy water in the middle) and you can see a million more of these videos if you search 越野刷鍋 (off-road hot pot).
February 11, 2026 at 4:36 AM
Chinese GF has informed me this is called "scrubbing the wok" (hence why there's foamy water in the middle) and you can see a million more of these videos if you search 越野刷鍋 (off-road hot pot).
5 am cat meds done 😮💨
February 11, 2026 at 11:31 AM
5 am cat meds done 😮💨
Reposted by Van Weasel
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
February 11, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
Reposted by Van Weasel
Fred has started a new antibiotic, along with the rest of the house cats. This is supposed to be the good shit
February 10, 2026 at 11:05 PM
Fred has started a new antibiotic, along with the rest of the house cats. This is supposed to be the good shit