Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.
Pronouns: any/all
Pronouns: any/all
Reposted by Van Weasel
if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now
February 11, 2026 at 1:56 AM
if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now
Today is an important holiday everyone is forgetting
February 11, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Today is an important holiday everyone is forgetting
Reposted by Van Weasel
I use precum to schedule my skeets through peak refractory periods
February 10, 2026 at 10:21 PM
I use precum to schedule my skeets through peak refractory periods
Reposted by Van Weasel
Is there another secret room at the Capitol where Congressmen can read the translated Bad Bunny lyrics
February 11, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Is there another secret room at the Capitol where Congressmen can read the translated Bad Bunny lyrics
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
This feels like one of those 90's attitude era shirts that was way too long for anyone to read but I'd still wear this T-shirt
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
Safety first means using a stud finder before suction cupping your dildo to the wall
January 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Safety first means using a stud finder before suction cupping your dildo to the wall
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
just found out the puppy bowl (12mil) got twice as many viewers as the tpusa halftime show (6mil) and im extremely disappointed at how few viewers that is. the puppy bowl deserved better.
February 10, 2026 at 11:35 PM
just found out the puppy bowl (12mil) got twice as many viewers as the tpusa halftime show (6mil) and im extremely disappointed at how few viewers that is. the puppy bowl deserved better.
Reposted by Van Weasel
Chinese GF has informed me this is called "scrubbing the wok" (hence why there's foamy water in the middle) and you can see a million more of these videos if you search 越野刷鍋 (off-road hot pot).
February 11, 2026 at 4:36 AM
Chinese GF has informed me this is called "scrubbing the wok" (hence why there's foamy water in the middle) and you can see a million more of these videos if you search 越野刷鍋 (off-road hot pot).
5 am cat meds done 😮💨
February 11, 2026 at 11:31 AM
5 am cat meds done 😮💨
Reposted by Van Weasel
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
February 11, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
Reposted by Van Weasel
Fred has started a new antibiotic, along with the rest of the house cats. This is supposed to be the good shit
February 10, 2026 at 11:05 PM
Fred has started a new antibiotic, along with the rest of the house cats. This is supposed to be the good shit
Reposted by Van Weasel
The funny thing about the Megyn Kelly character arc is that she was rejected by woke 1.0 and so she's so bitter and rejected about it that she'll never even see woke 2.0 coming
oh god I just saw the clip of Megyn Kelly freaking out at piers Morgan — which includes her saying “Latinos” yes in that fake accent way — about how having the bad bunny thing in Spanish was a middle finger to the vast majority of Americans who don’t speak Spanish. I mean, it’s music
February 10, 2026 at 12:54 PM
The funny thing about the Megyn Kelly character arc is that she was rejected by woke 1.0 and so she's so bitter and rejected about it that she'll never even see woke 2.0 coming
Reposted by Van Weasel
I’d play this.
Video game about a sentient toaster who just has to figure out toasting the weird shit his high/drunk owner puts in him
February 10, 2026 at 9:04 PM
I’d play this.
Reposted by Van Weasel
Video game about a sentient toaster who just has to figure out toasting the weird shit his high/drunk owner puts in him
February 10, 2026 at 7:33 PM
Video game about a sentient toaster who just has to figure out toasting the weird shit his high/drunk owner puts in him
Should I remake this about the jobs report?
February 10, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Should I remake this about the jobs report?
Reposted by Van Weasel
How I screen followers:
December 24, 2025 at 3:59 AM
How I screen followers:
Video game about a sentient toaster who just has to figure out toasting the weird shit his high/drunk owner puts in him
February 10, 2026 at 7:33 PM
Video game about a sentient toaster who just has to figure out toasting the weird shit his high/drunk owner puts in him
Reposted by Van Weasel
My medical alert bracelet just says "Delete my browser history"
February 10, 2026 at 5:31 PM
My medical alert bracelet just says "Delete my browser history"
Reposted by Van Weasel
Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous
February 9, 2026 at 1:38 AM
Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous
Reposted by Van Weasel
I have once again found dumb bullshit to order online
February 10, 2026 at 6:02 PM
I have once again found dumb bullshit to order online
Thank god tomorrow is Friday
February 10, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Thank god tomorrow is Friday