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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉

@xinicit.bsky.social

13K followers 1.4K following 12K posts

Sobriety Date 12/22/09 Support/Blog/Fiction https://linktr.ee/xinicit Recent Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zzjoncowxyg6a4dqfkvnpi2k/feed/aaalgnvduqvmc Best Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zzjoncowxyg6a4dqfkvnpi2k/feed/aaaepbpvxlzxw

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 17h

What do you mean? 😇

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 17h

The beautiful thing about the internet is that once you think you've seen all the dick puns that could exist another one comes along

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 17h

Absolutely wild that gravity was waiting around to be discovered and nobody bothered to look up or down until Isaac Newton came along

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

Magnificent! Thank you!

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

I am. I had to relearn how to write to use fountain pens, but that worked out because it improved my handwriting immensely.

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

They should make a tea strainer that looks like a pair of truck nuts so people will know that you enjoy the finer things in life but also drink tea.

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

Writing with a fountain pen is like running Linux because it's frustrating and you're the only person who thinks you're elite.

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

I love tea because humans were like "this boiling water is ok, but what it really needs is some leaves."

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 18h

You should always buy your parents cool stuff because you may be curating your inheritance

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 20h

Sniffing hair for Jaysus

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 20h

They should make a hug emoji that strongly implies one person is sniffing the other's hair.

But, like, in a shampoo commercial way. We don't want weirdos using it.

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

I hate it when I get smoke in my eyes and fail at everything I love wait this is supposed to be a joke The Aristocrats lol

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

I didn’t think I would be seduced when I woke up this morning

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

I just want to be rich enough to give a date a disappointing evening at The Cheesecake Factory

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

“You have to parent your inner child” ok but what if your inner child was replaced with a lookalike by aliens and it really likes cigars and ladies of the night how awesome would that be?

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

So awkward that I have to scream in my car because the Void crosses the street when it sees me

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

“You have to kiss so many frogs before you find a prince” bro I’m not trying to improve my station I just like the texture

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

People will tell you they like dad jokes but don’t think it’s funny when you disappear from their lives for forty years and die before you can reconcile. Hypocrite much?

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Me as a kid: I want to be an archaeologist!

Me as an adult: How long should I wait before I tell my date I’m a shitposter? I don’t want to bone on a full stomach but they have lava cake

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Anything can be a puppet if you don’t care what happens to your hand

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Anything can be a puppet if you don’t mind getting your hands dirty

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Was going to get married but it made more sense to form an LLC

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

I hate when I get popcorn in my teeth and it costs so much to live that people get increasingly desperate

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

They mocked me for building a tree house but they don’t know what it’s like to have a money butler or a sugar glider bride

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

People will ask you why you’re wearing a fanny pack full of mayonnaise like they don’t have their own business they could be minding

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