bill irvine 🚫🚗🚫
@949resident.bsky.social
949 resident / stuck in suburbia but don't drive a car / like or follow # endorsement (bc some ppl don't get it)
Pinned
bill irvine 🚫🚗🚫
@949resident.bsky.social
· Nov 19
me: hmm 🙈🤓🤔 should I get out of Irvine?
Everyone: ⚠️ YES! ⚠️
me: hmm, I guess I'll never know 🥺🤔
Everyone: ⚠️ YES! ⚠️
me: hmm, I guess I'll never know 🥺🤔
Benson Boone when the hourly bus passes him by:
PLEASE STAY. I WANT YOU I NEED YOU OH GOD.
PLEASE STAY. I WANT YOU I NEED YOU OH GOD.
July 27, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Benson Boone when the hourly bus passes him by:
PLEASE STAY. I WANT YOU I NEED YOU OH GOD.
PLEASE STAY. I WANT YOU I NEED YOU OH GOD.
Imagine being in a coma for 42 years and waking up to find out that Larry Agran is still the mayor of Irvine
July 27, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Imagine being in a coma for 42 years and waking up to find out that Larry Agran is still the mayor of Irvine
Reposted by bill irvine 🚫🚗🚫
idea: gen x have no capacity for the sublime and that’s why they’re horny for llms
June 30, 2025 at 8:25 AM
idea: gen x have no capacity for the sublime and that’s why they’re horny for llms
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single gay man in possession of a Hinge account must be in want of a performative matcha boyfriend
July 27, 2025 at 2:22 AM
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single gay man in possession of a Hinge account must be in want of a performative matcha boyfriend
It's not easy being a sensitive young man in this economy
April 11, 2025 at 1:36 AM
It's not easy being a sensitive young man in this economy
My friend texted me and said that the bus he's on is crush loaded, and I replied, "Omg a bus loaded with crushes?" And he said, no, it's just very full.
February 24, 2025 at 3:44 AM
My friend texted me and said that the bus he's on is crush loaded, and I replied, "Omg a bus loaded with crushes?" And he said, no, it's just very full.
Alternate reality in which Gutenberg never invented the printing press and so I'm illiterate and so instead of reading tweets I'm touching grass
January 31, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Alternate reality in which Gutenberg never invented the printing press and so I'm illiterate and so instead of reading tweets I'm touching grass
If I owned a laundromat, I'd call it "Another Day, Another Load"
January 30, 2025 at 8:28 PM
If I owned a laundromat, I'd call it "Another Day, Another Load"
A version of Hamlet where JD Vance kills Trump to become president and marries Melania and the ghost of Trump tells Barron to avenge his death
January 23, 2025 at 2:21 AM
A version of Hamlet where JD Vance kills Trump to become president and marries Melania and the ghost of Trump tells Barron to avenge his death
Canceled a meeting because "I am overwhelmed with being a woman now."
January 23, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Canceled a meeting because "I am overwhelmed with being a woman now."
Ever since I was a young child, all I've wanted to be as a grown-up was a disaffected, neurotic office worker. I can proudly say I've achieved my childhood dream.
January 23, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Ever since I was a young child, all I've wanted to be as a grown-up was a disaffected, neurotic office worker. I can proudly say I've achieved my childhood dream.
My friend said a bus was at crush load, and I said, "What's that? Is that a load from your crush?"
January 17, 2025 at 12:02 AM
My friend said a bus was at crush load, and I said, "What's that? Is that a load from your crush?"
Whenever someone mentions "horrors beyond human comprehension," I'm just like, "Skill issue. I would simply comprehend."
January 5, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Whenever someone mentions "horrors beyond human comprehension," I'm just like, "Skill issue. I would simply comprehend."
Reflecting on some 2024 Bill Irvine Ws:
• Saw totality
• Fell in love for the first time again
• Fed lowered interest rates for the first time in 4 years
• Maintained another year sober
• Saw totality
• Fell in love for the first time again
• Fed lowered interest rates for the first time in 4 years
• Maintained another year sober
January 2, 2025 at 8:03 AM
Reflecting on some 2024 Bill Irvine Ws:
• Saw totality
• Fell in love for the first time again
• Fed lowered interest rates for the first time in 4 years
• Maintained another year sober
• Saw totality
• Fell in love for the first time again
• Fed lowered interest rates for the first time in 4 years
• Maintained another year sober
wallaby : kangaroo :: emu : ostrich
December 29, 2024 at 5:30 AM
wallaby : kangaroo :: emu : ostrich
A mistake a lot of leftists make is mistaking their having progressive views for being a good person
December 19, 2024 at 5:21 AM
A mistake a lot of leftists make is mistaking their having progressive views for being a good person
This is literally me... if you even care
December 19, 2024 at 5:21 AM
This is literally me... if you even care
A colleague of mine asked the bartender for a Moscow mule, and the bartender said, "You mean a Kiev mule?"
December 19, 2024 at 5:19 AM
A colleague of mine asked the bartender for a Moscow mule, and the bartender said, "You mean a Kiev mule?"
My friend was calculating the tip on the check and asked, "Do you need to carry the one?" And I replied, "Carry the one? No, my darling, i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)"
December 6, 2024 at 11:35 PM
My friend was calculating the tip on the check and asked, "Do you need to carry the one?" And I replied, "Carry the one? No, my darling, i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)"
Sometimes, I'd like to wear nice clothes, but my lifestyle (lying in a field of grass, contemplating, while watching the clouds go by) doesn't allow for it
December 5, 2024 at 11:06 PM
Sometimes, I'd like to wear nice clothes, but my lifestyle (lying in a field of grass, contemplating, while watching the clouds go by) doesn't allow for it
many straight white twinks grow up to have beer bellies, vote republican or work in an industry that’s a net negative to society, and watch football
December 5, 2024 at 9:28 PM
many straight white twinks grow up to have beer bellies, vote republican or work in an industry that’s a net negative to society, and watch football
Sometimes you just gotta do things once more, with feeling
December 5, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Sometimes you just gotta do things once more, with feeling
Playing it safe is not high risk behavior
December 5, 2024 at 6:06 PM
Playing it safe is not high risk behavior
Hot barista made my coffee today
December 5, 2024 at 4:20 PM
Hot barista made my coffee today
Dude, where do you get your news? Misinformation dot com?
December 4, 2024 at 6:04 PM
Dude, where do you get your news? Misinformation dot com?