Adam Fare 🖤🤍💜
@adamfare1996.bsky.social
UK. Trying to muddle my way through life. Equity, AuDHD, Disability, Mental illness, Stomas and Eating Disorders. Ace 🖤🤍💜 Views are my own. (He/Him)
This is a bigot-free zone.
https://linktr.ee/adamcfare
This is a bigot-free zone.
https://linktr.ee/adamcfare
So fucking exhausted right now.
I’ve got a body that changed overnight.
Got to manage things completely differently.
No predictability of symptoms, no trust in anything.
Genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
(Please, no advice, this is genuinely how I feel)
I’ve got a body that changed overnight.
Got to manage things completely differently.
No predictability of symptoms, no trust in anything.
Genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
(Please, no advice, this is genuinely how I feel)
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 PM
So fucking exhausted right now.
I’ve got a body that changed overnight.
Got to manage things completely differently.
No predictability of symptoms, no trust in anything.
Genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
(Please, no advice, this is genuinely how I feel)
I’ve got a body that changed overnight.
Got to manage things completely differently.
No predictability of symptoms, no trust in anything.
Genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
(Please, no advice, this is genuinely how I feel)
Oh joy PIP review forms have arrived…
Just what I need less than 2 weeks post-op…
Got to get ready for 6 months of anxiety and fighting against an ableist system for the bare minimum (which is what I already get)…
Just what I need less than 2 weeks post-op…
Got to get ready for 6 months of anxiety and fighting against an ableist system for the bare minimum (which is what I already get)…
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Oh joy PIP review forms have arrived…
Just what I need less than 2 weeks post-op…
Got to get ready for 6 months of anxiety and fighting against an ableist system for the bare minimum (which is what I already get)…
Just what I need less than 2 weeks post-op…
Got to get ready for 6 months of anxiety and fighting against an ableist system for the bare minimum (which is what I already get)…
There are actually many, very valid, reasons that someone may choose what's classed as a "luxury" car as their Motability vehicle.
Maybe it's the only dealership close.
Maybe the layout works.
Maybe it's what they're used to.
Maybe it's the only thing they can get in/out of...
Maybe it's the only dealership close.
Maybe the layout works.
Maybe it's what they're used to.
Maybe it's the only thing they can get in/out of...
November 25, 2025 at 11:14 AM
There are actually many, very valid, reasons that someone may choose what's classed as a "luxury" car as their Motability vehicle.
Maybe it's the only dealership close.
Maybe the layout works.
Maybe it's what they're used to.
Maybe it's the only thing they can get in/out of...
Maybe it's the only dealership close.
Maybe the layout works.
Maybe it's what they're used to.
Maybe it's the only thing they can get in/out of...
Ableism due to ignorance is still ableism, by the way.
Impact is more important than intent.
Impact is more important than intent.
November 25, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Ableism due to ignorance is still ableism, by the way.
Impact is more important than intent.
Impact is more important than intent.
Niche post-proctectomy post…
But fucking hell my arse crack is itchy… the glue is starting to peel off and it’s super irritating.
Also seeps a bit of fluid which is… pleasant…
All these things they should tell you about but don’t.
But fucking hell my arse crack is itchy… the glue is starting to peel off and it’s super irritating.
Also seeps a bit of fluid which is… pleasant…
All these things they should tell you about but don’t.
November 25, 2025 at 7:25 AM
Niche post-proctectomy post…
But fucking hell my arse crack is itchy… the glue is starting to peel off and it’s super irritating.
Also seeps a bit of fluid which is… pleasant…
All these things they should tell you about but don’t.
But fucking hell my arse crack is itchy… the glue is starting to peel off and it’s super irritating.
Also seeps a bit of fluid which is… pleasant…
All these things they should tell you about but don’t.
Immediately when I woke up from 4.5 hours of surgery, I said “this feels very different”…
Even before I’d looked at it felt my new stoma.
Turns out I was right, it is very different.
Don’t tell us that we don’t know our bodies intrinsically.
Even before I’d looked at it felt my new stoma.
Turns out I was right, it is very different.
Don’t tell us that we don’t know our bodies intrinsically.
November 24, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Immediately when I woke up from 4.5 hours of surgery, I said “this feels very different”…
Even before I’d looked at it felt my new stoma.
Turns out I was right, it is very different.
Don’t tell us that we don’t know our bodies intrinsically.
Even before I’d looked at it felt my new stoma.
Turns out I was right, it is very different.
Don’t tell us that we don’t know our bodies intrinsically.
My mobility issues are definitely worse since the operation.
The outside of my leg has no superficial sensation any more... And I've now got really bad stiffness in my hip joint which periodically cracks something in there.
Oh joy...
The outside of my leg has no superficial sensation any more... And I've now got really bad stiffness in my hip joint which periodically cracks something in there.
Oh joy...
November 24, 2025 at 10:36 AM
My mobility issues are definitely worse since the operation.
The outside of my leg has no superficial sensation any more... And I've now got really bad stiffness in my hip joint which periodically cracks something in there.
Oh joy...
The outside of my leg has no superficial sensation any more... And I've now got really bad stiffness in my hip joint which periodically cracks something in there.
Oh joy...
It’s easy to tell people “you’ll find a way to manage”, or “It’ll be okay”
But the truth is that you can’t promise that, and no one can know with certainty.
We might do, but we might not. And there’s no shame or failure if we don’t
But the truth is that you can’t promise that, and no one can know with certainty.
We might do, but we might not. And there’s no shame or failure if we don’t
November 24, 2025 at 8:36 AM
It’s easy to tell people “you’ll find a way to manage”, or “It’ll be okay”
But the truth is that you can’t promise that, and no one can know with certainty.
We might do, but we might not. And there’s no shame or failure if we don’t
But the truth is that you can’t promise that, and no one can know with certainty.
We might do, but we might not. And there’s no shame or failure if we don’t
If you’re disabled…
You’re “genuinely disabled”
That’s it. It’s that simple.
You’re “genuinely disabled”
That’s it. It’s that simple.
November 24, 2025 at 7:09 AM
If you’re disabled…
You’re “genuinely disabled”
That’s it. It’s that simple.
You’re “genuinely disabled”
That’s it. It’s that simple.
This is what a colostomy on a battered body looks like.
If you don’t like it, that’s not my issue.
This is my body that has survived major surgery and I now have to learn to live with.
It’s not pretty, far from perfect, and it’s difficult to manage.
But it’s my body.
If you don’t like it, that’s not my issue.
This is my body that has survived major surgery and I now have to learn to live with.
It’s not pretty, far from perfect, and it’s difficult to manage.
But it’s my body.
November 23, 2025 at 5:07 PM
This is what a colostomy on a battered body looks like.
If you don’t like it, that’s not my issue.
This is my body that has survived major surgery and I now have to learn to live with.
It’s not pretty, far from perfect, and it’s difficult to manage.
But it’s my body.
If you don’t like it, that’s not my issue.
This is my body that has survived major surgery and I now have to learn to live with.
It’s not pretty, far from perfect, and it’s difficult to manage.
But it’s my body.
When people talk about “health” and associate it with body size/weight, they miss so much nuance.
Like, for someone like me, it would be better if I had some reserves for when my body decides to fuck around.
And when you’re unwell anyway, having an energy deficit makes it worse.
Like, for someone like me, it would be better if I had some reserves for when my body decides to fuck around.
And when you’re unwell anyway, having an energy deficit makes it worse.
November 23, 2025 at 2:49 PM
When people talk about “health” and associate it with body size/weight, they miss so much nuance.
Like, for someone like me, it would be better if I had some reserves for when my body decides to fuck around.
And when you’re unwell anyway, having an energy deficit makes it worse.
Like, for someone like me, it would be better if I had some reserves for when my body decides to fuck around.
And when you’re unwell anyway, having an energy deficit makes it worse.
There’s no shame in being disabled, and being loud and proud about that.
We can’t change it. We can’t magically cure ourselves.
It’s okay to be proud & accepting of all we are.
We can’t change it. We can’t magically cure ourselves.
It’s okay to be proud & accepting of all we are.
November 23, 2025 at 12:28 PM
There’s no shame in being disabled, and being loud and proud about that.
We can’t change it. We can’t magically cure ourselves.
It’s okay to be proud & accepting of all we are.
We can’t change it. We can’t magically cure ourselves.
It’s okay to be proud & accepting of all we are.
Having a stoma for the last 8 years doesn’t mean this one is easier to manage in many ways.
I have an advantage that I’m used to shitting into a bag, what “feels” right, etc…
But every stoma is so different. This one is night & day compared to my last one.
I have an advantage that I’m used to shitting into a bag, what “feels” right, etc…
But every stoma is so different. This one is night & day compared to my last one.
November 23, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Having a stoma for the last 8 years doesn’t mean this one is easier to manage in many ways.
I have an advantage that I’m used to shitting into a bag, what “feels” right, etc…
But every stoma is so different. This one is night & day compared to my last one.
I have an advantage that I’m used to shitting into a bag, what “feels” right, etc…
But every stoma is so different. This one is night & day compared to my last one.
A disabled people who is working, is still disabled.
A disabled person who isn’t working, is still disabled.
Disabilities affect everyone in different ways.
Work (or lack of) isn’t necessarily a measure of severity.
A disabled person who isn’t working, is still disabled.
Disabilities affect everyone in different ways.
Work (or lack of) isn’t necessarily a measure of severity.
November 23, 2025 at 7:20 AM
A disabled people who is working, is still disabled.
A disabled person who isn’t working, is still disabled.
Disabilities affect everyone in different ways.
Work (or lack of) isn’t necessarily a measure of severity.
A disabled person who isn’t working, is still disabled.
Disabilities affect everyone in different ways.
Work (or lack of) isn’t necessarily a measure of severity.
My brain is so quick to forget what i went through last week… until the exhaustion hits and it’s like “oh shit yeah someone was fucking around with my insides and chopping bits out only 10 days ago”…
November 22, 2025 at 6:33 PM
My brain is so quick to forget what i went through last week… until the exhaustion hits and it’s like “oh shit yeah someone was fucking around with my insides and chopping bits out only 10 days ago”…
I'm lucky to (just about) be able to afford to see my dietician when needed. She is great and is coming up with a totally new and different plan for me so I can get enough nutrition hopefully to get and stay as well as possible... Especially as my body & stoma is different now.
November 22, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I'm lucky to (just about) be able to afford to see my dietician when needed. She is great and is coming up with a totally new and different plan for me so I can get enough nutrition hopefully to get and stay as well as possible... Especially as my body & stoma is different now.
Something they should really do more before you are discharged after an operation is tell you what normal and abnormal looks like when it comes to healing.
Things which might be completely normal, could be totally alien to us… knowledge is power & vital in these situations.
Things which might be completely normal, could be totally alien to us… knowledge is power & vital in these situations.
November 22, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Something they should really do more before you are discharged after an operation is tell you what normal and abnormal looks like when it comes to healing.
Things which might be completely normal, could be totally alien to us… knowledge is power & vital in these situations.
Things which might be completely normal, could be totally alien to us… knowledge is power & vital in these situations.
Most of the time, I don’t “seem” Autistic.
And it doesn’t “seem” like it’s disabling to me.
However anyone who saw me this time last week in hospital, totally breaking down multiple times, would have quickly realised that I am Autistic and it is massively disabling to me.
And it doesn’t “seem” like it’s disabling to me.
However anyone who saw me this time last week in hospital, totally breaking down multiple times, would have quickly realised that I am Autistic and it is massively disabling to me.
November 22, 2025 at 7:28 AM
Most of the time, I don’t “seem” Autistic.
And it doesn’t “seem” like it’s disabling to me.
However anyone who saw me this time last week in hospital, totally breaking down multiple times, would have quickly realised that I am Autistic and it is massively disabling to me.
And it doesn’t “seem” like it’s disabling to me.
However anyone who saw me this time last week in hospital, totally breaking down multiple times, would have quickly realised that I am Autistic and it is massively disabling to me.
I think something that I am struggling with a lot now is the “what now” part…
Like, what is my purpose in life? What will it become? Who do I have to share life with?
I know I’ll never be able to work, but what’s my goal, my purpose?
Like, what is my purpose in life? What will it become? Who do I have to share life with?
I know I’ll never be able to work, but what’s my goal, my purpose?
November 21, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I think something that I am struggling with a lot now is the “what now” part…
Like, what is my purpose in life? What will it become? Who do I have to share life with?
I know I’ll never be able to work, but what’s my goal, my purpose?
Like, what is my purpose in life? What will it become? Who do I have to share life with?
I know I’ll never be able to work, but what’s my goal, my purpose?
Trust me, if you reduced disability benefits, it wouldn’t make anyone better off… at least not anyone who isn’t already rich.
And no, disability benefits aren’t the reason you’re struggling financially.
And no, disability benefits aren’t the reason you’re struggling financially.
November 21, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Trust me, if you reduced disability benefits, it wouldn’t make anyone better off… at least not anyone who isn’t already rich.
And no, disability benefits aren’t the reason you’re struggling financially.
And no, disability benefits aren’t the reason you’re struggling financially.
I honestly don’t care if someone is wearing pyjamas or loungewear to the shops, or taking their children to school.
We have no idea of their circumstances, and shouldn’t judge.
The fact they’re out the house might be a huge thing for them in the first place.
We have no idea of their circumstances, and shouldn’t judge.
The fact they’re out the house might be a huge thing for them in the first place.
November 21, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I honestly don’t care if someone is wearing pyjamas or loungewear to the shops, or taking their children to school.
We have no idea of their circumstances, and shouldn’t judge.
The fact they’re out the house might be a huge thing for them in the first place.
We have no idea of their circumstances, and shouldn’t judge.
The fact they’re out the house might be a huge thing for them in the first place.
“You must have a high pain threshold”
The truth is that things still hurt a lot. It’s just that my brain has gotten very good at ignoring a lot of it.
It doesn’t make the pain any less painful though.
It doesn’t change the effect of that pain on body and brain
The truth is that things still hurt a lot. It’s just that my brain has gotten very good at ignoring a lot of it.
It doesn’t make the pain any less painful though.
It doesn’t change the effect of that pain on body and brain
November 21, 2025 at 7:20 AM
“You must have a high pain threshold”
The truth is that things still hurt a lot. It’s just that my brain has gotten very good at ignoring a lot of it.
It doesn’t make the pain any less painful though.
It doesn’t change the effect of that pain on body and brain
The truth is that things still hurt a lot. It’s just that my brain has gotten very good at ignoring a lot of it.
It doesn’t make the pain any less painful though.
It doesn’t change the effect of that pain on body and brain
After stoma surgery it can take ages for the bowel to “wake up” properly again… especially if you have underlying conditions.
Like yesterday I had 2 bags.
Today about 0.5.
It can be distressing when you don’t feel it’s working, and there’s not enough info given to patients.
Like yesterday I had 2 bags.
Today about 0.5.
It can be distressing when you don’t feel it’s working, and there’s not enough info given to patients.
November 20, 2025 at 8:54 PM
After stoma surgery it can take ages for the bowel to “wake up” properly again… especially if you have underlying conditions.
Like yesterday I had 2 bags.
Today about 0.5.
It can be distressing when you don’t feel it’s working, and there’s not enough info given to patients.
Like yesterday I had 2 bags.
Today about 0.5.
It can be distressing when you don’t feel it’s working, and there’s not enough info given to patients.
The “We can always tell” crowd are going to (already are) unleash a wave of abuse against any woman who doesn’t “look” right to them… under the guise of “protecting women” and their own bigoted transphobia.
The misogynistic regression is turning into a sprint.
The misogynistic regression is turning into a sprint.
November 20, 2025 at 3:45 PM
The “We can always tell” crowd are going to (already are) unleash a wave of abuse against any woman who doesn’t “look” right to them… under the guise of “protecting women” and their own bigoted transphobia.
The misogynistic regression is turning into a sprint.
The misogynistic regression is turning into a sprint.
Have had to pay for another appointment with my dietician, as I’m struggling to get enough nutrition with things having changed so quickly & my body feeling so alien.
Also things that were autopilot before now require so much thought and effort, that I don’t have right now.
Also things that were autopilot before now require so much thought and effort, that I don’t have right now.
November 20, 2025 at 10:46 AM
Have had to pay for another appointment with my dietician, as I’m struggling to get enough nutrition with things having changed so quickly & my body feeling so alien.
Also things that were autopilot before now require so much thought and effort, that I don’t have right now.
Also things that were autopilot before now require so much thought and effort, that I don’t have right now.