I love the first round of the playoffs because there is just so much hockey all the time.

When you accidentally find out information at work but are told you cannot tell a soul, so you keep your mouth shut, even though you need to tell someone, then weeks later the information becomes public knowledge and you can finally discuss it? For the work gossip, there is no better feeling.

Receiving texts from my father are always like a riddle. Why was this something that came to him whilst he was in Portugal? Why does he need to address me by name? Also, zero follow up.

The fucking stupidity of this city. Three hours in line and I'm still not in the building.

The young receptionist at the doctor's office just called me "Ms. Baxter". Put me in a coffin now because I must be 100 years old 💀

"I don't need to write a grocery list, I'll remember what I need." Says the girl who uses a wall calendar, phone calendar & agenda, as well as physical and digital to-do lists. But sure, just raw dog that grocery list, ya muppet.