Alan Zilberman
@alanzilberman.bsky.social
One of the last idiots to write about film for an alt-weekly
1. "(Don't Worry) If There's a Hell Below, We're All Going to Go"
2. "London Calling"
3. "Mother and Child Reunion"
4. "Sleep to Dream"
5. "Age of Consent"
2. "London Calling"
3. "Mother and Child Reunion"
4. "Sleep to Dream"
5. "Age of Consent"
November 26, 2025 at 5:06 PM
1. "(Don't Worry) If There's a Hell Below, We're All Going to Go"
2. "London Calling"
3. "Mother and Child Reunion"
4. "Sleep to Dream"
5. "Age of Consent"
2. "London Calling"
3. "Mother and Child Reunion"
4. "Sleep to Dream"
5. "Age of Consent"
Local PSA: Wake Up Dead Man opens in DC-area theaters today! You can catch screenings here:
-Atlantic Plumbing
-Bethesda Row
-Angelika Pop-up
-Alamo Crystal City
-LOOK Dine-in Tyson's
-Angelika Mosaic
Y'all will want to see this one with a packed house.
-Atlantic Plumbing
-Bethesda Row
-Angelika Pop-up
-Alamo Crystal City
-LOOK Dine-in Tyson's
-Angelika Mosaic
Y'all will want to see this one with a packed house.
Think Wake Up Dead Man Can’t Top Glass Onion? Have a Little Faith.
Detective Benoit Blanc encounters his most challenging case yet and gets a major assist from an unlikely partner.
washingtoncitypaper.com
November 26, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Local PSA: Wake Up Dead Man opens in DC-area theaters today! You can catch screenings here:
-Atlantic Plumbing
-Bethesda Row
-Angelika Pop-up
-Alamo Crystal City
-LOOK Dine-in Tyson's
-Angelika Mosaic
Y'all will want to see this one with a packed house.
-Atlantic Plumbing
-Bethesda Row
-Angelika Pop-up
-Alamo Crystal City
-LOOK Dine-in Tyson's
-Angelika Mosaic
Y'all will want to see this one with a packed house.
I hit the trifecta of hating on nice/sad movies with my pan of Eternity, a romantic comedy about the afterlife that did not think its premise through.
Wouldn't ANY eternity by hell?
Why do these men insist they are husbands when their vows clearly state that their marriages are over?
Wouldn't ANY eternity by hell?
Why do these men insist they are husbands when their vows clearly state that their marriages are over?
Eternity - Spectrum Culture
This high-concept romantic comedy is never light on its feet, despite a likable cast, and suffers the longer it takes to resolve.
spectrumculture.com
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I hit the trifecta of hating on nice/sad movies with my pan of Eternity, a romantic comedy about the afterlife that did not think its premise through.
Wouldn't ANY eternity by hell?
Why do these men insist they are husbands when their vows clearly state that their marriages are over?
Wouldn't ANY eternity by hell?
Why do these men insist they are husbands when their vows clearly state that their marriages are over?
Yesterday and today, I managed to bike from my house to the office without stopping once, thanks primarily to the lack of traffic.
Resolved: Thanksgiving week is an underrated bike commute week (cc @fakesharrows.bsky.social).
Resolved: Thanksgiving week is an underrated bike commute week (cc @fakesharrows.bsky.social).
November 26, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Yesterday and today, I managed to bike from my house to the office without stopping once, thanks primarily to the lack of traffic.
Resolved: Thanksgiving week is an underrated bike commute week (cc @fakesharrows.bsky.social).
Resolved: Thanksgiving week is an underrated bike commute week (cc @fakesharrows.bsky.social).
I love reading your Pi takes.
November 26, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I love reading your Pi takes.
DC voters present: a collective response of "good" to this news.
Breaking news: Mayor Muriel E. Bowser (D) will not seek reelection, a seismic decision in D.C. politics that will bring to a close more than a decade in leadership.
D.C. Mayor Bowser will not run for fourth term
Bowser, who has led D.C. over a turbulent decade, will not seek reelection in 2026, a decision bound to open up a highly competitive mayoral race.
www.washingtonpost.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:28 PM
DC voters present: a collective response of "good" to this news.
Reposted by Alan Zilberman
Read @alanzilberman.bsky.social’s Letterboxd review on Hamnet, a supposedly Important Movie that is deeply deeply flawed. boxd.it/bCCMIh
A ★★ review of Hamnet (2025)
Now that Hamnet is opening in theaters and I do not plan to review the film, I wanted to expand a little on my thoughts here. Parts of Hamnet are moving, like the tentative nature of Agnes and William...
boxd.it
November 25, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Read @alanzilberman.bsky.social’s Letterboxd review on Hamnet, a supposedly Important Movie that is deeply deeply flawed. boxd.it/bCCMIh
Awards season is already exhausting! I hope we get a break from it.
*finger of monkey's paw curls menacingly*
All kidding aside, I would be remiss not to remind y'all that Brett Ratner's upcoming Amazon documentary about Melania Trump releases in January.
*finger of monkey's paw curls menacingly*
All kidding aside, I would be remiss not to remind y'all that Brett Ratner's upcoming Amazon documentary about Melania Trump releases in January.
I teased this last night in What I’m Hearing but now confirmed: Paramount WILL release Rush Hour 4 after prodding from Trump on behalf of Brett Ratner. Distribution deal. Producer Tarak Ben Ammar is lining up financing. Get ready for the dumbest possible state-controlled media.
November 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Awards season is already exhausting! I hope we get a break from it.
*finger of monkey's paw curls menacingly*
All kidding aside, I would be remiss not to remind y'all that Brett Ratner's upcoming Amazon documentary about Melania Trump releases in January.
*finger of monkey's paw curls menacingly*
All kidding aside, I would be remiss not to remind y'all that Brett Ratner's upcoming Amazon documentary about Melania Trump releases in January.
Several years ago, I explored the repeated use of certain music in my first piece for Roger Ebert, mostly focusing on a Spiegel Im Spiegel and a snippet from the score for Danny Boyle's Twilight. I even talked to composers Steven Knight and Nicholas Brittell about it. I think it still holds up!
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Several years ago, I explored the repeated use of certain music in my first piece for Roger Ebert, mostly focusing on a Spiegel Im Spiegel and a snippet from the score for Danny Boyle's Twilight. I even talked to composers Steven Knight and Nicholas Brittell about it. I think it still holds up!
I am not reviewing Hamnet, so I expanded my thoughts on it in my Letterboxd review.
Basically, I think Chloe Zhao has an unseemly, voyeuristic gaze, and her use of Max Richter's "On the Nature of Delight" is cynical, a misguided attempt at edging her audience toward ALL THE FEELS.
Basically, I think Chloe Zhao has an unseemly, voyeuristic gaze, and her use of Max Richter's "On the Nature of Delight" is cynical, a misguided attempt at edging her audience toward ALL THE FEELS.
A ★★ review of Hamnet (2025)
Now that Hamnet is opening in theaters and I do not plan to review the film, I wanted to expand a little on my thoughts here. Parts of Hamnet are moving, like the tentative nature of Agnes and William...
letterboxd.com
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
I am not reviewing Hamnet, so I expanded my thoughts on it in my Letterboxd review.
Basically, I think Chloe Zhao has an unseemly, voyeuristic gaze, and her use of Max Richter's "On the Nature of Delight" is cynical, a misguided attempt at edging her audience toward ALL THE FEELS.
Basically, I think Chloe Zhao has an unseemly, voyeuristic gaze, and her use of Max Richter's "On the Nature of Delight" is cynical, a misguided attempt at edging her audience toward ALL THE FEELS.
If someone gets Mamdani to rank The Coen Brothers, this site will go supernova.
The timeline arguing about pop-culture rankings.
And they say Bluesky doesn't have the juice.
And they say Bluesky doesn't have the juice.
November 24, 2025 at 8:51 PM
If someone gets Mamdani to rank The Coen Brothers, this site will go supernova.
Isaac is right, and it bears repeating.
I made a similar complaint when Naveen Kumar was hired, but looking at his Washington Post bylines, it's even worse than I thought it would be.
He goes weeks or months without covering DC-area productions. We are lucky if we get one a month.
I made a similar complaint when Naveen Kumar was hired, but looking at his Washington Post bylines, it's even worse than I thought it would be.
He goes weeks or months without covering DC-area productions. We are lucky if we get one a month.
Gotta say, it sucks for DC, a great theater town, that the first string theater critic not only doesn’t live in the city, but barely ever covers local theater.
November 24, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Isaac is right, and it bears repeating.
I made a similar complaint when Naveen Kumar was hired, but looking at his Washington Post bylines, it's even worse than I thought it would be.
He goes weeks or months without covering DC-area productions. We are lucky if we get one a month.
I made a similar complaint when Naveen Kumar was hired, but looking at his Washington Post bylines, it's even worse than I thought it would be.
He goes weeks or months without covering DC-area productions. We are lucky if we get one a month.
I would swap the places of Return of the Jedi and The Last Jedi, but other than that, this is pretty accurate.
haven’t seen ROS or Solo but this seems like a pretty ball-knowing list from Pritzker, particularly if he volunteered the name “Star Wars” rather than “A New Hope”
November 24, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I would swap the places of Return of the Jedi and The Last Jedi, but other than that, this is pretty accurate.
I will also be doing this, but just to put things in perspective, part 1 of Stranger Things Season 5 (premiering Wednesday) is 271 minutes.
Long movies sound intimidating, until you stop and think how long the average streaming binge sesh can last.
Long movies sound intimidating, until you stop and think how long the average streaming binge sesh can last.
I am seeing two films in theaters next week with a combined runtime of 473 minutes.
This is a healthy way to live.
This is a healthy way to live.
November 24, 2025 at 3:11 PM
I will also be doing this, but just to put things in perspective, part 1 of Stranger Things Season 5 (premiering Wednesday) is 271 minutes.
Long movies sound intimidating, until you stop and think how long the average streaming binge sesh can last.
Long movies sound intimidating, until you stop and think how long the average streaming binge sesh can last.
If you got a chance to watch Train Dreams on Netflix this weekend, I would appreciate it if you took a look at my review from a few weeks ago.
Spread the word about this film, y'all! It's a grower.
Spread the word about this film, y'all! It's a grower.
Train Dreams Is About the Kind of Man Who Rarely Gets the Epic Treatment
In this moving adaptation of Denis Johnson’s novella, the filmmakers never strike a false note in a logger’s quiet search for meaning and joy.
washingtoncitypaper.com
November 24, 2025 at 2:09 PM
If you got a chance to watch Train Dreams on Netflix this weekend, I would appreciate it if you took a look at my review from a few weeks ago.
Spread the word about this film, y'all! It's a grower.
Spread the word about this film, y'all! It's a grower.
Reposted by Alan Zilberman
Udo Kier's first and only post on Twitter 💯
March 8, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Udo Kier's first and only post on Twitter 💯
Whoa. An absolute legend that brought unique energy to every movie where he appeared.
He first made an impression on me in Ace Ventura thirty years ago, and he stole a scene most recently in the Brazilian thriller The Secret Agent.
Rest in power.
He first made an impression on me in Ace Ventura thirty years ago, and he stole a scene most recently in the Brazilian thriller The Secret Agent.
Rest in power.
Udo Kier, German Actor Who Appeared in ‘My Own Private Idaho,’ ‘Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein,’ Dies at 81
Udo Kier, a German actor who collaborated with everyone from Andy Warhol to Lars von Trier to Madonna, died on Sunday morning. He was 81.
variety.com
November 24, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Whoa. An absolute legend that brought unique energy to every movie where he appeared.
He first made an impression on me in Ace Ventura thirty years ago, and he stole a scene most recently in the Brazilian thriller The Secret Agent.
Rest in power.
He first made an impression on me in Ace Ventura thirty years ago, and he stole a scene most recently in the Brazilian thriller The Secret Agent.
Rest in power.
A movie that takes place where you’re from.
November 23, 2025 at 5:48 PM
A movie that takes place where you’re from.
Scorsese’s best film and somehow underrated.
Everyone is firing on all cylinders: De Niro, Pesci, Stone (especially Stone), Woods, Pollak, Rickles, Vincent, King. Not only does it look great, it *MOVES* even faster than Wolf of Wall Street.
Everyone is firing on all cylinders: De Niro, Pesci, Stone (especially Stone), Woods, Pollak, Rickles, Vincent, King. Not only does it look great, it *MOVES* even faster than Wolf of Wall Street.
November 22, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Scorsese’s best film and somehow underrated.
Everyone is firing on all cylinders: De Niro, Pesci, Stone (especially Stone), Woods, Pollak, Rickles, Vincent, King. Not only does it look great, it *MOVES* even faster than Wolf of Wall Street.
Everyone is firing on all cylinders: De Niro, Pesci, Stone (especially Stone), Woods, Pollak, Rickles, Vincent, King. Not only does it look great, it *MOVES* even faster than Wolf of Wall Street.
I share many of Emily's complaints! My solution is to treat my Top 10 list as more of a recommendation tool than something authoritative. I tend to pick smaller films (e.g. docs, indies, foreign) that did not get the attention they deserved, in the hope that them getting a spot on my list helps.
When I started my criticism career, I _loved_ making annual top ten lists. By the end, I realized the process was inherently flawed and biased toward whatever thing I liked that I had watched most recently, and I resented having to do it. I had a similar relationship to star ratings!
November 21, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I share many of Emily's complaints! My solution is to treat my Top 10 list as more of a recommendation tool than something authoritative. I tend to pick smaller films (e.g. docs, indies, foreign) that did not get the attention they deserved, in the hope that them getting a spot on my list helps.
Train Dreams is available to stream on Netflix today!
If you missed this in theaters, please please PLEASE watch on the nicest TV you have. Turn out the lights and put your phone in another room while you're at it.
You can thank me later.
If you missed this in theaters, please please PLEASE watch on the nicest TV you have. Turn out the lights and put your phone in another room while you're at it.
You can thank me later.
Train Dreams is a remarkable drama, one that will languish on Netflix because its inexorable, meditative power is not suited to streaming. Go see it in theaters while you can.
Train Dreams Is About the Kind of Man Who Rarely Gets the Epic Treatment
In this moving adaptation of Denis Johnson’s novella, the filmmakers never strike a false note in a logger’s quiet search for meaning and joy.
washingtoncitypaper.com
November 21, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Train Dreams is available to stream on Netflix today!
If you missed this in theaters, please please PLEASE watch on the nicest TV you have. Turn out the lights and put your phone in another room while you're at it.
You can thank me later.
If you missed this in theaters, please please PLEASE watch on the nicest TV you have. Turn out the lights and put your phone in another room while you're at it.
You can thank me later.
Would you rather shit so hard that you cum, or cum so hard that you shit?
November 21, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Would you rather shit so hard that you cum, or cum so hard that you shit?
Diva
Heathers
Ran
The Road Warrior
Heathers
Ran
The Road Warrior
Name your top 4 80s films.
November 21, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Diva
Heathers
Ran
The Road Warrior
Heathers
Ran
The Road Warrior
I cannot imagine hating a movie this year more than I hated Rental Family.
Its premise is a lot like Dirty Work, except in that movie the characters KNOW they're being cruel, and comic anarchy reflects that.
Lies and fraud at the expense of vulnerable people should not give anyone ALL THE FEELS.
Its premise is a lot like Dirty Work, except in that movie the characters KNOW they're being cruel, and comic anarchy reflects that.
Lies and fraud at the expense of vulnerable people should not give anyone ALL THE FEELS.
Rental Family - Spectrum Culture
The premise for Rental Family is a fundamental miscalculation, a story of emotional cruelty masquerading as something heartwarming.
spectrumculture.com
November 21, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I cannot imagine hating a movie this year more than I hated Rental Family.
Its premise is a lot like Dirty Work, except in that movie the characters KNOW they're being cruel, and comic anarchy reflects that.
Lies and fraud at the expense of vulnerable people should not give anyone ALL THE FEELS.
Its premise is a lot like Dirty Work, except in that movie the characters KNOW they're being cruel, and comic anarchy reflects that.
Lies and fraud at the expense of vulnerable people should not give anyone ALL THE FEELS.
Between my dislike of Sorry Baby, Eternity, Hamnet, and now Rental Family - films that are meant to give us ALL THE FEELS - I worry there may be something wrong with me.
On the other hand, it’s not my fault they suck.
On the other hand, it’s not my fault they suck.
November 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Between my dislike of Sorry Baby, Eternity, Hamnet, and now Rental Family - films that are meant to give us ALL THE FEELS - I worry there may be something wrong with me.
On the other hand, it’s not my fault they suck.
On the other hand, it’s not my fault they suck.