Author | Lightnews

Alche_

@alcheunderscore.bsky.social

56 followers 50 following 320 posts

♂️ some guy who is absolute hot dogshit in human form. ⚠️ may make unhinged and questionable posts ⚠️

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 1d

me when i am asked what 9+10 is so i reference a funny vine, while adding "old" at the end

Reposted by Alche_

Done @done22.bsky.social · 5d

depression

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Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 5d

yes balls sky, this is exactly what korean looks, reads, and sounds like.

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 5d

🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 5d

i am low on funny or depressing things to say or rant about. sorry!

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 11d

ai bros ruined robots guys, in the future we could've had cute robot maids/butlers that did everything, but now we call them clankers because all the fucking ai now is just generating ugly people with 6 fingers and 3 nipples and telling us to put ketamine in our roast chicken

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 13d

When will my naval officer realise that i don't care about protecting the seas, and that i instead just want to sleep with other men.

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 19d

my piss is black, jut like my hart.
💔🖤🖤💔🖤🖤🖤🚬🚬🚬🚬☹️

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 26d

oh yeah it's october now

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · 27d

add a horse to british parliament debates

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 27

there's going to be a day in a few years time where those "I don't need Google, my wife knows everything." mugs and t-shirts are going to be replace "Google" in the sentence with "ChatGPT".

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 26

the sky is indeed blue

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 26

i have never played umamusune because i am not much of a gacha guy. but i do like agnes tachyon because if 70% of fan art depicts her as an insane lunatic scientist woman, then i am sold. i love crazy and mentally unstable women!!!

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 24

We are all labubu's destined towards being disposed in god's landfill.

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 23

today is so fucking shit man, why am i filled with so much dread and sadness man?

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 18

idk what this says but i bet it is really fucking funny. gayass weeb.

1 7

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 17

twink 👍

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 15

true suffering is not understood until you stub your toe and bruise it

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 11

call me slop the way i add no value to anything

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 10

the rabbit's gluttony on display absolutely sickens me. may the lord strike him down for his reprehensible sins against man.

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 5

god has left me unfinished and not intended for this world at all

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 3

"i need me a femboy furry boyfriend haha", i say to myself knowing i would turn down the opportunity because i am very shy and don't deserve love.

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Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 3

we truly live in a world where a good looking guy isn't allowed to look a little eccentric, but cute. ☹

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Sep 2

idea: make all life saving medicine taste so fucking bad that your body physically rejects it and barfs it out.

injected medicine will instead be mixed with sulphuric acid from yellowstone park to compensate for the fact you don't drink injections.

Alche_ @alcheunderscore.bsky.social · Aug 28

realistic horror game idea where your job application is going well, but then you have to write a stupid fucking shitty cover letter god i hate writing cover letters so much. cover letters are fucking ass, i want to work to DO STUFF and MAKE MONEY!!! I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ME x SHAREHOLDER FANFIC!!!!