Bergs
@alexbergmans.bsky.social
ceo at my own boss. member of whatever the opposite of mensa is. coiner of phrase “what if mcdonalds had beer”
hypnotized by this… subliminal “medium naturals”….. can’t stop eating this
November 16, 2025 at 5:40 PM
hypnotized by this… subliminal “medium naturals”….. can’t stop eating this
DONALD TRUMP: (texting the National Guard as if it is just one guy) can you come here
November 16, 2025 at 1:23 PM
DONALD TRUMP: (texting the National Guard as if it is just one guy) can you come here
Sorry I forgot to lower the price of groceries. I was busy being so much of a heinous sex criminal that all the other sex criminals who associate with me were like “that dude needs to fucking relax”
November 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Sorry I forgot to lower the price of groceries. I was busy being so much of a heinous sex criminal that all the other sex criminals who associate with me were like “that dude needs to fucking relax”
EVE FROM THE BIBLE: I have tasted the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For although it was forbidden I sought it for wisdom and desire
EVE’S TEAM LEAD: let’s table this for now. I appreciate you “questioning the why” but we should do this through the proper channels next time.
EVE’S TEAM LEAD: let’s table this for now. I appreciate you “questioning the why” but we should do this through the proper channels next time.
November 14, 2025 at 2:36 PM
EVE FROM THE BIBLE: I have tasted the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For although it was forbidden I sought it for wisdom and desire
EVE’S TEAM LEAD: let’s table this for now. I appreciate you “questioning the why” but we should do this through the proper channels next time.
EVE’S TEAM LEAD: let’s table this for now. I appreciate you “questioning the why” but we should do this through the proper channels next time.
finally.. a tool to generate an ASMR video of eating a mobile phone
November 13, 2025 at 7:26 PM
finally.. a tool to generate an ASMR video of eating a mobile phone
every man dreams of inventing an award to give to their wife… but only cowards wait until after they die to do it
November 12, 2025 at 1:19 AM
every man dreams of inventing an award to give to their wife… but only cowards wait until after they die to do it
Just came up with 6-7 2
November 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Just came up with 6-7 2
No no.. not Dick. No. Not Dick Cheney… no no no no… I was just with him last night
November 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
No no.. not Dick. No. Not Dick Cheney… no no no no… I was just with him last night
Wow. Unfollowing now. Was a big fan of walking seven paces behind you on a dark street. Had no idea it was gonna make you freak out.
October 29, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Wow. Unfollowing now. Was a big fan of walking seven paces behind you on a dark street. Had no idea it was gonna make you freak out.
GUY WHO INVENTED THE BURRITO: awesome. I just invented a delicious food I call it a “burrito”
17-YEAR OLD BOY: (appearing out of thin air in gym clothes) can I get a steak bowl light rice double protein
17-YEAR OLD BOY: (appearing out of thin air in gym clothes) can I get a steak bowl light rice double protein
October 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
GUY WHO INVENTED THE BURRITO: awesome. I just invented a delicious food I call it a “burrito”
17-YEAR OLD BOY: (appearing out of thin air in gym clothes) can I get a steak bowl light rice double protein
17-YEAR OLD BOY: (appearing out of thin air in gym clothes) can I get a steak bowl light rice double protein
amnesiac conservative guy going to Five Guys and making the same post complaining about how much it costs every single day
October 26, 2025 at 4:20 PM
amnesiac conservative guy going to Five Guys and making the same post complaining about how much it costs every single day
A “does the dog die” website but it’s specifically about characters named Mufasa
October 26, 2025 at 1:34 AM
A “does the dog die” website but it’s specifically about characters named Mufasa
MY COP EX-BOYFRIEND: (digging through old police reports) holy shit.. looks like citizens were reporting seeing Jack O Lanterns as far back as 1922
ME: (pacing behind him and furiously biting my nails) so I’m not fucking crazy, right??
ME: (pacing behind him and furiously biting my nails) so I’m not fucking crazy, right??
October 25, 2025 at 7:04 PM
MY COP EX-BOYFRIEND: (digging through old police reports) holy shit.. looks like citizens were reporting seeing Jack O Lanterns as far back as 1922
ME: (pacing behind him and furiously biting my nails) so I’m not fucking crazy, right??
ME: (pacing behind him and furiously biting my nails) so I’m not fucking crazy, right??
LeBron not being implicated as part of the FBI’s NBA gambling scheme goes to show he is nowhere near Jordan’s level
October 23, 2025 at 9:35 PM
LeBron not being implicated as part of the FBI’s NBA gambling scheme goes to show he is nowhere near Jordan’s level
I heard Trump removed the White House’s rib so he can suck his own dick
October 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I heard Trump removed the White House’s rib so he can suck his own dick
Reposted by Bergs
(completely dead behind the eyes, without a single trace of enthusiasm) that’s fire.
October 22, 2025 at 12:49 PM
(completely dead behind the eyes, without a single trace of enthusiasm) that’s fire.
everyone at this open mic is pulling out their best jokes because there’s rumors that the guy who invented roasted red pepper hummus is in the audience
October 20, 2025 at 3:54 AM
everyone at this open mic is pulling out their best jokes because there’s rumors that the guy who invented roasted red pepper hummus is in the audience
the world is desperate for a Christian Weird Al
October 18, 2025 at 1:27 AM
the world is desperate for a Christian Weird Al
yeah you’d love that wouldn’t you. You’d love more engagement happening on your braindead little platform wouldn’t you
October 17, 2025 at 1:07 PM
yeah you’d love that wouldn’t you. You’d love more engagement happening on your braindead little platform wouldn’t you
According to my meticulous spreadsheets, I believe over two hundred women every day. Just the type of ally I am.
October 16, 2025 at 8:19 PM
According to my meticulous spreadsheets, I believe over two hundred women every day. Just the type of ally I am.
It’s crazy that we still only have one Eiffel Tower. With the way human society has advanced since 1889, there’s no reason we shouldn’t have hundreds by now
October 15, 2025 at 9:23 PM
It’s crazy that we still only have one Eiffel Tower. With the way human society has advanced since 1889, there’s no reason we shouldn’t have hundreds by now
yep.. I love never releasing the Epstein list, allying with international sex traffickers, and running an agency called ICE that abducts women & children, putting them in vans so they’re never seen again. All of these things because of my deeply held conservatism and unshakable faith in Jesus Christ
October 12, 2025 at 1:23 PM
yep.. I love never releasing the Epstein list, allying with international sex traffickers, and running an agency called ICE that abducts women & children, putting them in vans so they’re never seen again. All of these things because of my deeply held conservatism and unshakable faith in Jesus Christ