androo
@androoo.bsky.social
Alright, let's do this one last time.
Walked past an apartment numbered 1080 and had a warm positive association like it was an old address of mine. Nope, just good video resolution
February 11, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Walked past an apartment numbered 1080 and had a warm positive association like it was an old address of mine. Nope, just good video resolution
Cars toothpaste called Whitening McQueen
February 11, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Cars toothpaste called Whitening McQueen
Reports are now saying it was actually the de-aged Dunkin Tom Brady
Tom Brady & Alix Earle were spotted dancing together at a Super Bowl party in San Francisco this weekend.
February 9, 2026 at 1:34 AM
Reports are now saying it was actually the de-aged Dunkin Tom Brady
The Cure Auto Insurance evil talking orb blackmailed Jaxson Dart into doing that commercial
February 9, 2026 at 1:14 AM
The Cure Auto Insurance evil talking orb blackmailed Jaxson Dart into doing that commercial
Ok I’ll bite. Whats curling
February 7, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Ok I’ll bite. Whats curling
I like to start each day with a poppyseed bagel to relinquish my illusion of control
January 14, 2026 at 4:08 PM
I like to start each day with a poppyseed bagel to relinquish my illusion of control
(to the tune of Thriller)
popcorn for DIIINNNEEERRRRRRR
popcorn for DIIINNNEEERRRRRRR
December 18, 2025 at 8:27 PM
(to the tune of Thriller)
popcorn for DIIINNNEEERRRRRRR
popcorn for DIIINNNEEERRRRRRR
Sea level? When has the sea ever been level? Un-levelness is like the main thing of the sea
November 21, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Sea level? When has the sea ever been level? Un-levelness is like the main thing of the sea
In The Before Times, Coke put out an ad that was so damn good and artful that I watch it on YouTube to kick off every holiday season: youtu.be/AXXPIk4v6aw?...
November 4, 2025 at 12:44 PM
In The Before Times, Coke put out an ad that was so damn good and artful that I watch it on YouTube to kick off every holiday season: youtu.be/AXXPIk4v6aw?...
I spent all yesterday marathon watching, searching for the following bib numbers to no avail:
80085
42069
24601
80085
42069
24601
November 3, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I spent all yesterday marathon watching, searching for the following bib numbers to no avail:
80085
42069
24601
80085
42069
24601
Just saw an "accept cookies" button that read I AM FINE WITH THIS and... yeah that's accurate
October 31, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Just saw an "accept cookies" button that read I AM FINE WITH THIS and... yeah that's accurate
Me to an ice cold beer tomorrow night
October 30, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Me to an ice cold beer tomorrow night
I am going to find an Rx Bar that has 7 almonds instead of 6 and sue them for everything they're worth
October 29, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I am going to find an Rx Bar that has 7 almonds instead of 6 and sue them for everything they're worth
Too many celebrity alcohol collabs already but if I saw a Hilary Duff Barrel-Aged Rye called Distilary Duff I would have no choice but to purchase it
October 24, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Too many celebrity alcohol collabs already but if I saw a Hilary Duff Barrel-Aged Rye called Distilary Duff I would have no choice but to purchase it
Integrity means deleting tasks that have become irrelevant in task management software, not marking them as done, despite the dopamine hit it would bring
September 9, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Integrity means deleting tasks that have become irrelevant in task management software, not marking them as done, despite the dopamine hit it would bring
It's me, the guy from the original cracker barrel logo. I just wanted to retire in peace. Let me rest. My ass hurts from this wicker chair so bad it's not ergonomic at all
August 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
It's me, the guy from the original cracker barrel logo. I just wanted to retire in peace. Let me rest. My ass hurts from this wicker chair so bad it's not ergonomic at all
Just wrote a crazy line a villain in a comic book could say:
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
August 8, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Just wrote a crazy line a villain in a comic book could say:
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
Switched from airpods to over-ear headphones at work because I don't want my coworkers in my ear canals
August 6, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Switched from airpods to over-ear headphones at work because I don't want my coworkers in my ear canals
Just wanted to apologize that my gargoyle has been acting so weird lately. I'm running a bit low on garg-oil so he's just gonna be a little out of whack until I get a chance to swing by the emporium
July 30, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Just wanted to apologize that my gargoyle has been acting so weird lately. I'm running a bit low on garg-oil so he's just gonna be a little out of whack until I get a chance to swing by the emporium
The streets call me “Lincoln Logs” the way I’m constantly logging movies on Letterboxd that I watched at AMC Lincoln Square 😤
July 28, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The streets call me “Lincoln Logs” the way I’m constantly logging movies on Letterboxd that I watched at AMC Lincoln Square 😤
Doing a bit where I scream as I join a Zoom call and act like I was teleported/summoned through spacetime to the meeting against my will
July 24, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Doing a bit where I scream as I join a Zoom call and act like I was teleported/summoned through spacetime to the meeting against my will
Why is "Declines with regret" the only "no" on an RSVP? What if I decline with jubilance, relief, a chuckle, or ominousness? What then?
July 24, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Why is "Declines with regret" the only "no" on an RSVP? What if I decline with jubilance, relief, a chuckle, or ominousness? What then?
The ideal cheese shop doesn’t exi—
July 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
The ideal cheese shop doesn’t exi—
Asking Walmart to price match a PS5 to my buddy Frank's price of a 30-minute foot rub
July 23, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Asking Walmart to price match a PS5 to my buddy Frank's price of a 30-minute foot rub