Andy Rimmer
andy200.bsky.social
Andy Rimmer
@andy200.bsky.social
Breeder of Unicorns (when in season),
Curator of misattributed ephemera.
Writer of gags (this isn't one!).
It's gonna be too late to grow up.
Pinned
I'm not saying my mate is out of
condition, but he won Benidorm's
wet tee shirt competition last year,
and he didn't even enter!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
Things have looked up, since
the council permitted nude
hang gliding!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 10, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Complaints from Santa's grotto!
The server in Iceland is buffering and the
AI Santa's become the Ghost of Christmas
Past scaring all the kids!
#Christmas #Lunchpun #joke #funny #jokes
December 9, 2025 at 9:31 AM
The doctor said, 'Elephantiasis is very
rare and sufferers develop pachyderm
features... should I continue?'
'Yes, I'm all ears!'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 8, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Went for a tattoo.
Didn't expect martial music
as the muzak.
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 7, 2025 at 9:22 AM
'Change a hawk into a little white dove...
more than a feeling, that's the power of love.'
Huey Lewis and the Fake News
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 5, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Gnocchi, gnocchi
'Who's a dare?'
'Rag!'
'Rag who?'
'Con Parmesan, grazie!'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 4, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Loony : The Big Apple's public conveniences

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
December 3, 2025 at 8:53 AM
There's a nasty new virus about.
It starts with a very sore throat. They're calling it:
The Four Hoarsemen of the Acoughalips!

#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 3, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Generation : budgeted gene therapy
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
December 2, 2025 at 9:21 AM
My mate's proud about his new girlfriend,
"She's called Mercedes... cos she drives
a Mercedes sports car!'
'She's step up from the last one, who drove
an Escort.'
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 2, 2025 at 8:35 AM
Impale : a wicked brew
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
December 1, 2025 at 9:18 AM
Studying American literature, and I
need a heads up on the Headless Horseman
in the Legend of Sleepy Hollow!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
December 1, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Sphincter : a dedicated devotee of the Sphinx
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 30, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Whichcraft: your spelling doesn't seem to work!

#LunchPun #joke #jokes #funny #humour
November 30, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Vision : Visigoth mode activated
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 28, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Just the Christmas crackers to get on this
post-budget Black Friday.
Friends say Jacobs are the best!
#LunchPun #joke #jokes #funny #humour
November 28, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Intercourse : competition between horse racing
venues.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 27, 2025 at 9:26 AM
A little known Hollywood fact:
Telly Savalas and Yul Brynner would
only fly by Receding Airlines!

#LunchPun #humour #joke #funny #jokes
November 27, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Clutch : collective noun for gearboxes.
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 26, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Suggested to the missus that we try
'the wheelbarrow' in the bedroom.
''The forklift truck' may be easier these days!'
#LunchPun #humour #joke #funny #jokes
November 26, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Community : agreement on messages
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 25, 2025 at 9:21 AM
My mate has promised his missus
Brazilian cosmetic surgery, but... and
it's a big Butt, only if he wins a new contract!
#joke #LunchPun #funny #jokes #humour
November 25, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Moment : maternal ingress point
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 24, 2025 at 9:06 AM
It wasn't his first rodeo, but the horse
was up for it!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humour
November 24, 2025 at 9:01 AM
Remarkable : easily annotated e.g. a whiteboard
#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
November 23, 2025 at 8:30 AM