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andyzswart.bsky.social
Swartacus
@andyzswart.bsky.social
1.6K followers 990 following 950 posts
Unfrozen caveman film criticism served lukewarm on the frozen outer rim of the Minneapolis exurbs.

📼 Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/3tMv
✍🏼 Words: popnotsoda.blog
📸 Photos: instagram.com/american__aquarium__drinker
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andyzswart.bsky.social
One eye open, one still in a dream.

Markus Zusak

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra800

#believeinfilm #120film #filmisnotdead #filmphotography #lomography #asundaycarpic
December 14, 2025 at 11:52 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Haven’t seen this since I was 16. Overall biggest takeaway- this soundtrack absolutely f*cks. I'm going to legit try to find this on vinyl. Bass for days, weeks, months and years. 7 #Tubi ads at a time was a bit much but whatta ya gonna do…

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #tupac

boxd.it/c1Oa3z
A ★★★★ review of Juice (1992)
I went for a tale of two NYCs with a bizarre impromptu Blue Moon/Juice double dip. An odd double feature for certain, but I needed to wash the stink of bleu cheese off me with some badass early 90s fl...
boxd.it
December 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
I’ve thought about the many miles.

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra800

#believeinfilm #120film #filmisnotdead #filmphotography #lomography
December 13, 2025 at 6:40 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
I hate the way it’s shot to make Hawke look shorter than everyone. Like he’s standing in a hole or the entire cast but Hawke are standing on apple boxes. Every time Hawke stands up all I can think about is Dorf on Golf.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #bluemoon

boxd.it/c1MwIZ
A ★★ review of Blue Moon (2025)
“I laughed my ass off, I had to have it reattached.” Blue Moon was bad beer, even with the floating orange slice. I think about that beer occasionally and usually make a face like when my wife farts. ...
boxd.it
December 13, 2025 at 7:10 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
“In every actor there lives a tiger, a pig, an ass, and a nightingale.”

#letterboxdFriday #lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky
December 12, 2025 at 5:52 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Feel the chill.

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra400

#believeinfilm #120film #filmisnotdead #filmphotography #lomography
December 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
As clumsy as Baumbach's metaphor is, “being old" IS kinda like wandering around in a deserted forest w/ a white suit on. Instead of chasing your career, now you’re chasing reparations from ghosts that left you behind years ago.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #jaykelly

boxd.it/bZ9U3P
A ★★★★ review of Jay Kelly (2025)
My middle age is showing. Something in this film struck a chord with me. I would have hated this when I was 25, would have laughed it out of the building. But I'm not 25. I have to accept that, just l...
boxd.it
December 10, 2025 at 2:22 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Who’s on first?

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra400

#believeinfilm #120film #filmphotography #lomography
December 7, 2025 at 7:22 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
The Mandy routine, aka "one helluva scare" is good old-fashioned foreshadowing and we are a very, very lucky audience who’s gonna be ok this time...right? As Hunter Thompson used to say, "buy the ticket, take the ride."

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #kubrick @criterion.bsky.social

boxd.it/bUKPB7
A ★★★★★ review of Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
“You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.” Holy shit the grain is fierce with this one. Kidman is gorgeous in the grain. Insane in the grain brain. If you're looking for a never ending rabbit ho...
boxd.it
December 5, 2025 at 7:55 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Robert K. Bowfinger: Did you know Tom Cruise had no idea he was in that vampire movie till two years later?

#letterboxdFriday #lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky
December 5, 2025 at 6:27 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Got to get behind the mule, yeah, in the morning and plow

Tom Waits

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra400

#believeinfilm #120film #filmphotography #lomography
December 4, 2025 at 6:37 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
It's like the plug is pulled from the tub and we watch the water slowly swirl down the drain. This film should have just been called "The Bathtub" because there are two incredible monologues given by the lead character while sitting in the tub.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky

boxd.it/bTJbKH
A ★★★½ review of Sorry, Baby (2025)
There are very few films as awkward as this one. It's got that rickety first film fragility, but at the same time it lobs a bunch of stilited Yorgos cadence at you. At first blush it's like swinging a...
boxd.it
December 4, 2025 at 4:11 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
red roof inn

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra400

#believeinfilm #120film #filmphotography #lomography
December 3, 2025 at 8:27 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
“KKK appears in this script 486 times!”
“Find me a script with a retarded slave!”
“They inhale your gonads!”
This film was kind of the last of the Mohicans for a certain type of mean-spirited spoof. Runs like a Swiss watch. No dead spots.

#letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky #eddiemurphy

boxd.it/bTrhSh
A ★★★★ review of Bowfinger (1999)
“You wrote a great script, your accounting days are over!” Bowfinger is a man of many promises. When you rock a pony like Robert K. Bowfinger, you are instantly shown to give no fucks. What a glorious...
boxd.it
December 2, 2025 at 6:23 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
dig if you will the picture

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra160

#believeinfilm #photography #120film #filmphotography #lomography #prince #purplerain
December 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
I’m inspired as hell, but only an insolent film slob would ever watch this. Which makes it hilarious that it snuck onto the streaming docket of Netflix for Thanksgiving. A film, almost completely in French, filled with unknown actors.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky

boxd.it/bReWQR
A ★★★★ review of Nouvelle Vague (2024)
"Your film is a load of shit." Of course, a few days after I run my mouth about the 4:3 box gimmick in recent films, out comes a Linklater jam that works it to a tee. This is how you do the boxed acad...
boxd.it
November 30, 2025 at 6:57 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
the sun goes down and the world goes dancing

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakektar100

#believeinfilm #photography #120film #filmphotography #lomography #filmisnotdead #dancing
November 29, 2025 at 9:48 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
This movie makes me think Americans were justified in making Trump president twice. This movie makes me hate hand gestures and the people who film them. This movie has a series of never ending codas for a third act. This movie is insufferable.

#letterboxdFriday #writesky #filmsky

boxd.it/bQFX1P
A ½ review of After the Hunt (2025)
You'll have to excuse me if this comes off a little harsh. Maybe it's the first snow of the year in Minnesota laying down its fresh carcass which has the buzzards of seasonal depression circling. Perh...
boxd.it
November 29, 2025 at 4:32 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Dark Necessities.

#letterboxdFriday #lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky
November 28, 2025 at 6:31 AM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Sometimes you wake up 20 years later and an insatiable dread is trailing your tired bones. My god that slow Kubrick zoom out of the solitary man who’s lost everything just hits ya down in the bottom-most pit of your belly.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #traindreams

boxd.it/bQiKBp
A ★★★★½ review of Train Dreams (2025)
A passageway to the old world indeed, but why does this have to be box framed in 3:2 or 4:3 or whatever the hell this is? It’s such a gimmick now and sucks in the majesty of the cinematography like a ...
boxd.it
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Machinations.

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakektar100

#believeinfilm #photography #120film #filmphotography #lomography #filmisnotdead
November 26, 2025 at 11:46 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
To age with this film is to admit to our faults and frailty as a species. The melancholy in me accumulates from the fact that Clint Eastwood looks younger and I look older every time I see this. I’ve been every version of William Munny, at least in spirit.

#letterboxd #writesky

boxd.it/bPw0Eh
A ★★★★★ review of Unforgiven (1992)
"Now if they was giving over to wickedness in a regular way…." This film is born of darkness and ends the same way. There’s no fancy street lights or glittery 4th of July pyrotechnics in Big Whiskey, ...
boxd.it
November 25, 2025 at 8:29 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Someone keeps moving my chair.

📸 #holga
🎞️ #ilforddelta400

#believeinfilm #blackandwhitephotography #filmisnotdead #lomography
November 25, 2025 at 2:10 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
"What the hell kinda town is this?!”
-Sam Elliott when Billy “prettiest man I ever saw” Zane leaps out of a fancy stagecoach.

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky #valkilmer #kurtrussell

boxd.it/bNOwyD
A ★★★½ review of Tombstone (1993)
"What the hell kinda town is this?!” -Sam Elliott when Billy “prettiest man I ever saw” Zane leaps out of a fancy stagecoach. Obviously every Gen X male from here to Tucson can quote this film verbati...
boxd.it
November 23, 2025 at 10:33 PM
andyzswart.bsky.social
Waitin’ for the end of the world.

📸 #holga
🎞️ #kodakportra160

#believeinfilm #photography #120film #filmphotography #lomography #asundaycarpic
November 23, 2025 at 4:27 PM