I feel like I could fix Ben Affleck. I think he's been waiting for a genderfluid hottie from Philly his whole life.

Come to my club night Recession Indicator. Cover is $5 and tipping is mandatory

Selling shirts with built in bras should be illegal to people over the age of 30 because it's more of a scam than a Ponzi scheme at that point

Pretty sure bigfoots are just newfies standing on two legs

Everyone in the true crime doc about the prison guard who ran off with her inmate has the same accent as Parker Posey in White Lotus

We've had the renaissance of Eugene Levy, Cartherine OHara, Jennifer Coolidge and now Parker Posey...it's officially time for them to make a movie together again. Or a show. Web series. I'll take anything. Just please make more stuff.

My ma and I rarely talk but when we do we are both drunk texting each other

If you text your ex but don't tell anyone does it even count?

If you work at a restaurant you never have to worry about losing access to food so there's my silver lining of a shitty day

I did it all for the stories but now I can't remember them

girls going out in tiny dresses in winter 🤝 cold plunge bros

What if we kissed while wearing the MRI underpants

The venga bus is coming, but does it ever arrive?