Author | Lightnews

Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 1d

The fact she's wearing boots without socks bothers me more than the boots being clear. Feet smelling like raw cabbage, lukewarm hotdog water, and disappointment.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 5d

How To Eat Candy Corn: A Tutorial

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 8d

Unsolicited Advice
October 14, 2025:

Don't be the first person to cut through the name on the birthday cake.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 9d

Every year, Mother Nature reminds us that we are NOT AT ALL ready for:

- a zombie apocalypse
- vampires
- rogue A.I. and machine uprisings
- a planet of the apes revolution
- extraterrestrials
- actual supervillains
- internet/cellular signal outages

#BlackSky
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#BlackSkyOver40

Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 13d

Me reacting when Scooby-Doo and the Gang unmask the ghost/monster...

And it's a random person that they met at the beginning of the show....

...For the 7,562,988th time.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 16d

Me as a child watching Michael Jackson's Thriller video for the first time...

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 19d

School really has us eating/drinking this at 11am then playing dodgeball... #treacherous

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 22d

Nothing has felt the same since I learned that goats have "accents" and can't understand other goats from foreign countries because their accents are different...

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 22d

Teens be like....

"I'mma fix a bowl of cereal..."

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 23d

#BlackSky #BlackSkyOver30 #BlackSkyOver40

Old House Owner:

In this house, 317 people died, 233 went insane, and 12 killed themselves..

The New Family In The Horror Movie:

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · 29d

NEVER in my life, have I ever used these buttons...

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 22

Maybe, I'm just too demanding?
Maybe I'm just like my father. Too bold?
Maybe I'm just like my mother?
She's never satis-

Therapist: "Get out."

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 18

If you use me as a reference on an application, make sure they can say your name correctly when they call. #whodat

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 17

Adulting Is Weird:

One minute you're young, hanging out with friends, being carefree....

...Next thing you know, you're getting excited about a Buy One Get One Free coupon for your favorite detergent and fabric softener.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 16

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. And also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 15

Parents,

Make sure your kids know your family's government names too.

Took me over 36 years to learn that my cousin Bubba-Nuck and Reynard Humphreys were the same person.✍🏾

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 10

If you use either of these phrases, the next words (or previous words) you speak must legally, morally, ethically, and blacknically be the absolute raw unequivocal unvarnished truth:

✅ "on my mama..."
✅ "on everything I love..."
✅ "for real for real..."

#BlackSky
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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 9

Watched Final Destination 2 once...

...ABSOLUTELY REFUSES TO EVER ride behind a log truck ever again.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 5

Things I Assume You Do If I Catch You Reneging In Spades:

- Don't put shopping carts back
- Eat candy corn and/or peeps
- Put ketchup on steak
- Make that scratching throat noise
- Pronounce the "L" in salmon
- Double dip chips
- Eat your steaks well-done

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 4

The very first time you hear someone refer to 90's R&B and Hip Hop as "the oldies"...

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 3

Me, telling today's youths about AOL Instant Messenger, Black Planet, Karl Kani, Hotmail, Yo! MTV Raps, Video Soul, St. Ides, and The BK Broiler.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 3

Thursday, October, and 8:00PM are all the same.

I will not be explaining any further.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 2

Little Kids in the grocery store don't care what they ask for...

KitKat?
Skittles?
33lb Bag of Leg Quarters?
Fruity Pebbles?
19kg of Lipton Beefy Onion Soup?
9 Throw Pillows?

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Sep 1

Aht Aht‼️

It's ONLY September 1st.
I'mma need all you Pumpkin Spice people to chill.

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Tavares @answer2k1.bsky.social · Aug 29

Orbit Gum was absolutely WILD for this commercial...

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