Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜♀️💕
@arielleivy.com
Chaotic Good sea witch, always looking for my next adventure. 💕🏳️🌈🇦🇱✡🦓🏴
📍NYC and FMTY ✈️
https://campsite.bio/arielleivy
📍NYC and FMTY ✈️
https://campsite.bio/arielleivy
Pinned
We're officially in range of my birthday- December 16th! If you wanna send me a lil something so it arrives in time, here's the place: marigoldgift.com/arielleivy/w...
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
Nothing gets me like a guy with a bandana hanging out of his pocket because it matches his whole outfit but he probably doesn't realize he's flagging piss bottom. 😂
December 4, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Nothing gets me like a guy with a bandana hanging out of his pocket because it matches his whole outfit but he probably doesn't realize he's flagging piss bottom. 😂
Seeking: someone to watch all the Hellraiser movies with and we have sex every time something in them makes us horny. Freaks only, obviously.
December 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Seeking: someone to watch all the Hellraiser movies with and we have sex every time something in them makes us horny. Freaks only, obviously.
We don't talk enough about how the reason it's socially acceptable to hate cats is because they're a feminized pet. Dogs are "man's best friend" but cats are for crazy cat ladies and lesbians. Misogyny extends to the animal kingdom, unfortunately.
December 2, 2025 at 5:27 PM
We don't talk enough about how the reason it's socially acceptable to hate cats is because they're a feminized pet. Dogs are "man's best friend" but cats are for crazy cat ladies and lesbians. Misogyny extends to the animal kingdom, unfortunately.
I'm so used to eating flavor blasted Goldfish, double stuf Oreos, etc... that whenever I eat the regular versions of all these foods, they're so bland and awful to me. Is this luxury?
December 1, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I'm so used to eating flavor blasted Goldfish, double stuf Oreos, etc... that whenever I eat the regular versions of all these foods, they're so bland and awful to me. Is this luxury?
PSA: I've been so obsessed with chocolate and peanut butter lately, so please bring me Reese's or something similar to all our dates for the foreseeable future.
November 30, 2025 at 5:11 PM
PSA: I've been so obsessed with chocolate and peanut butter lately, so please bring me Reese's or something similar to all our dates for the foreseeable future.
The thing they don't tell you about having gorgeous tits is how much food falls down in between them while you're eating.
November 29, 2025 at 5:29 PM
The thing they don't tell you about having gorgeous tits is how much food falls down in between them while you're eating.
We're officially in range of my birthday- December 16th! If you wanna send me a lil something so it arrives in time, here's the place: marigoldgift.com/arielleivy/w...
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
November 28, 2025 at 5:33 PM
We're officially in range of my birthday- December 16th! If you wanna send me a lil something so it arrives in time, here's the place: marigoldgift.com/arielleivy/w...
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it!
📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
Every time an app changes the layout of everything so I keep pushing the wrong button out of habit, I want to [redacted] the entire C-suite of that company. Why do they keep doing this shit??
November 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Every time an app changes the layout of everything so I keep pushing the wrong button out of habit, I want to [redacted] the entire C-suite of that company. Why do they keep doing this shit??
I'm so sad for cats and dogs that they can't eat chocolate, it's one of the world's most delicious things. 😢
November 25, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I'm so sad for cats and dogs that they can't eat chocolate, it's one of the world's most delicious things. 😢
Trying to watch TV but there's something in my line of sight....
November 24, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Trying to watch TV but there's something in my line of sight....
Reposted by Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜♀️💕
As usual, I'm available for hire on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas! You can bring your favorite anticolonial Jew to your family gathering as a fake girlfriend or ditch your family for some private time, whatever your preference. 😉
📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
November 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
As usual, I'm available for hire on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas! You can bring your favorite anticolonial Jew to your family gathering as a fake girlfriend or ditch your family for some private time, whatever your preference. 😉
📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
My mom loves being like "I know you were born in 1993 but how can you not remember this thing from 1995??" as if I'm supposed to have some supernatural capacity for baby memory.
November 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
My mom loves being like "I know you were born in 1993 but how can you not remember this thing from 1995??" as if I'm supposed to have some supernatural capacity for baby memory.
Somebody needs to invent a microwave you can put metal in.
November 22, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Somebody needs to invent a microwave you can put metal in.
Walking in NY is like doing an obstacle course. Dodging garbage, poop, AC and above-ground subway drips, other people, etc..., every NYer is an olympic level obstacle course expert.
November 21, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Walking in NY is like doing an obstacle course. Dodging garbage, poop, AC and above-ground subway drips, other people, etc..., every NYer is an olympic level obstacle course expert.
Me every time a reality show features a lie detector test: POLYGRAPHS ARE NOT REAL!! They are bunk pseudoscience that isn't even admissible in a court of law because the courts have deemed them so goddamn fake! Stop platforming these scam artists!!
November 20, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Me every time a reality show features a lie detector test: POLYGRAPHS ARE NOT REAL!! They are bunk pseudoscience that isn't even admissible in a court of law because the courts have deemed them so goddamn fake! Stop platforming these scam artists!!
I've heard from multiple women in my life that they don't want to hire a SW because they think we'll find them weird for it. If only they knew how excited we get to have clients who aren't men! Basically all of us are queer, we're begging for non-male clients!
November 19, 2025 at 5:05 PM
I've heard from multiple women in my life that they don't want to hire a SW because they think we'll find them weird for it. If only they knew how excited we get to have clients who aren't men! Basically all of us are queer, we're begging for non-male clients!
The plight of being the oldest sibling: When you're young, your little siblings are obsessed with you and you find it annoying and ignore them. Then when you're adults, you're obsessed with your younger siblings and they never answer you.
November 18, 2025 at 5:28 PM
The plight of being the oldest sibling: When you're young, your little siblings are obsessed with you and you find it annoying and ignore them. Then when you're adults, you're obsessed with your younger siblings and they never answer you.
Me when clients ask what my half hour rate is knowing damn well it's not on my website for a reason: It's the same as my hour rate, but you're welcome to leave halfway through.
November 17, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Me when clients ask what my half hour rate is knowing damn well it's not on my website for a reason: It's the same as my hour rate, but you're welcome to leave halfway through.
People love talking shit about NY, but for a place y'all claim to hate so much, you can't stop talking about us. We're living in your minds. I personally don't spend this much time thinking about places I've never been and filling my mind with irate fantasies. Alexa, play Obsessed by Mariah Carey.
November 16, 2025 at 5:12 PM
People love talking shit about NY, but for a place y'all claim to hate so much, you can't stop talking about us. We're living in your minds. I personally don't spend this much time thinking about places I've never been and filling my mind with irate fantasies. Alexa, play Obsessed by Mariah Carey.
I hope all my clients know that if they take me to a restaurant that doesn't have desserts, we're stopping at a bakery after or at minimum a bodega to get some candy. I'm getting a dessert, damn it!
November 15, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I hope all my clients know that if they take me to a restaurant that doesn't have desserts, we're stopping at a bakery after or at minimum a bodega to get some candy. I'm getting a dessert, damn it!
I often get comments saying something along the lines of "ew body hair" like I'm supposed to give a fuck, and it would blow their mind how many men specifically pay me large amounts of money to fuck me *because* I have body hair. 😈
November 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I often get comments saying something along the lines of "ew body hair" like I'm supposed to give a fuck, and it would blow their mind how many men specifically pay me large amounts of money to fuck me *because* I have body hair. 😈
Every euphemism for sex is so silly. Making love sounds ridiculous, no sleeping happens in "sleeping together," doing the dirty is just awful, why are people so against just saying what's actually happening? If you're not mature enough to say the word sex, you're not mature enough to be having it.
November 13, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Every euphemism for sex is so silly. Making love sounds ridiculous, no sleeping happens in "sleeping together," doing the dirty is just awful, why are people so against just saying what's actually happening? If you're not mature enough to say the word sex, you're not mature enough to be having it.
Far too many people in our society assume that if you hate Republicans, you must be a Democrat. They truly cannot fathom anything outside this wretched 2 party system. Some of us are more evolved that that!
November 12, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Far too many people in our society assume that if you hate Republicans, you must be a Democrat. They truly cannot fathom anything outside this wretched 2 party system. Some of us are more evolved that that!
As an avid D&D player, I will never get over conservatives in the 80s pushing the narrative that D&D is a psyop to convert people to satanism or whatever. In my experience, if anything, it's converting people to being anarchists lmao.
November 11, 2025 at 5:34 PM
As an avid D&D player, I will never get over conservatives in the 80s pushing the narrative that D&D is a psyop to convert people to satanism or whatever. In my experience, if anything, it's converting people to being anarchists lmao.
The idea that so many men are jacking off with lotion is so strange to me. Why aren't y'all using lube?? You're adults, you can buy lube! You're not a teenager anymore trying to get whatever you can use from your mom's bathroom! Grow up and use something meant for this very purpose!
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
The idea that so many men are jacking off with lotion is so strange to me. Why aren't y'all using lube?? You're adults, you can buy lube! You're not a teenager anymore trying to get whatever you can use from your mom's bathroom! Grow up and use something meant for this very purpose!