Where to go better than a cemetery to get information about this thing: DEATH?

Off I went with my notepad of questions and 6 newly sharpened #2 pencils (only ones to be used with official status).

To avoid being biased I am determined to interview only people who have personally experienced DEATH.

But I sent this insurance guy a Christmas card, thanking him for this whole new vista on life (and this thing he called ‘death’) he has opened for me. I mean, this is the whole ballgame now! What could be more important to discuss?

I realized that I (personally) know nothing at all about DEATH!

I bring this up because an insurance salesman asked me, “Don’t you care what happens to your loved ones after you die??”

I thought and thought, because it seemed he truly wanted an answer.

“Well?” He said, irritated by my silence.

“Frankly,” I replied, “I don’t think I will care about much then.”

Do you believe you will die? Why do we believe that, because we have been alive longer than we can remember, but we have NEVER been dead!

Had this dream: USA took over a South American nation! I awoke and thought, “Nah, if it was that easy T-Rump - with a chart and magic marker - have shown his playground buddy Putin how to take Ukraine!”

Then: Back asleep! The world was safe from bad guys who thought rules only applied to others.

I realized recently I talk to inanimate objects.WTF! The other day I couldn’t get my new garage door opener to work, and I actually said, “What in the hell is wrong with you?!” No answer. But what if it could? Well, in this case it would have said, “They’re called batteries, Stupid!” You do this?

So, I was driving into the KFIZ studio to do my Monday morning talk show in November and it is snowing. I passed a house and a guy in SHORTS is mowing his yard and snow. I said something on the air and a woman called in and said, “Oh, that’s my Walter…finally got around to the last mow as promised”

Somehow, somewhere, back down the road, we thought truth was important. Then we discovered that the truth, the facts, and what REALLY happened can be three different things.

And these same Earthlings spend large amounts of currency to get into metal boxes and DRIVE TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER, usually just missing one another by a few feet. Not just once…hundreds of times. (And: They are pretty bad at it as they only connect once in a while.)

Imagine flying back to your Planet 76-{#^+} and reporting that Earthlings take a dried bush, grind it up, roll it in paper, SET IT ON FIRE, then suck it into their lungs—and laugh and laugh!

So, according to the NY Post the government is keeping track of what people have stuck in their butts including, among other things, a pumpkin spice-scented Yankee Candle, a baseball, a light bulb, and 40 other things.

I think the Trump administration has finally found something worthwhile doing.

One of our Greene people is resigning saying she cannot stand to keep working in “such a toxic environment”!