I’m off today, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I was in the awesome position of interviewing for two roles through recruitment agencies and receiving offers for both. Both roles were aware that I had another strong offer on the table, and negotiations started […] The post I turned down a job offer and now the recruiter is invoicing me appeared first on Ask a Manager.

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: Every since I was a small child I’ve been praised for how nice I am, how likable I am, how good I am with people. In many ways, this is a positive thing. I think […] The post how can I be more assertive at work? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Customers talk about our sizes This question is for my coworker, Jess. We both work at a women’s plus-size clothing retailer (national chain) in the midwest. I do wear some clothes from […] The post customers talk about our sizes, boss doesn’t want my husband to visit me on a work trip, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Sisters Weiss, by Naomi Ragen. The daughter of a strict ultra-Orthodox Jewish family rebels against the expectations of her parents and community, […] The post weekend open thread – October 11-12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – October 10, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My abusive former boss is my new editor A beloved editor at my job left in July. This week, their replacement started — and it is Jane, my abusive former boss from five years ago. Needless to say, I was extremely taken aback (and grateful […] The post my abusive former boss is my new editor, can you use PTO to go to Al-Anon, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have a pretty low-stakes question but it’s been on my mind a lot lately: is it tacky to bring branded items from your old job to your new job? For context: I used to work for a big tech company, and I acquired a lot of swag over my tenure: jackets, […] The post is it tacky to bring branded items from your old job to your new job? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers were joking that she was pregnant when she wasn’t — including having a local radio host congratulate her on her “pregnancy”? Here’s the […] The post update: my coworkers are joking that I’m pregnant when I’m not appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Let’s discuss chaos — or just mildly embarrassing / funny / off-key things — that happened when you were eating in a restaurant for work. Some stories that have been shared here in the past: I was in my mid-twenties traveling to a conference with my fifty-something boss. He could be odd and a bit […] The post let’s discuss chaos at work restaurant meals appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. When your coworker is your Uber driver This happened to a coworker, not me, but now I’m paranoid it will. She told me that over the weekend she and her roommate got in an Uber to get to a bar, and the driver was our […] The post my coworker was my Uber driver, changing clothes in a non-locking office, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work at a government agency (not in the U.S.) and it’s a good job. It’s a relaxed environment that definitely puts people’s safety and well-being first. However, and I never thought I’d be saying this, I think it might be too much of a good thing. People spend all day chewing […] The post are all workplaces full of loud, germy, sweaty coworkers? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have managed someone, let’s call her Rachel, for over a year and a half. The majority of the experience has been negative — she’s rude, feeds on drama, and produces low-quality work. I’ve had several discussions with her on improving her performance. After a lot of painful experiences, she resigned while […] The post can I ignore a toxic employee during her last few days? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: My company is technically hybrid, but my department is almost exclusively work from home, which has suited me. This week, we’d been asked whether or not we’ll be attending an all-hands in person or on Zoom and I’d been really struggling with the decision. I like my coworkers, but I invariably get […] The post how do I address a rumor that I don’t attend enough in-person events? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency Recently, “life happened” and I took a day off from work because I needed to take care of some things and I wasn’t feeling mentally well. I emailed work in the morning and said […] The post HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency, coworker won’t do his work, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have worked in the evolving field of IT all of my four-decade career. Most of my jobs have been exempt from overtime, while my last few tech support / help desk positions have been non-exempt. I’ve always been a slower (and I think, more thorough) worker who needs more time to […] The post it takes me longer to do my work — why can’t I opt out of overtime pay? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player I didn’t have time to go to my manager regarding your advice because days after your response was posted, Cersei’s boyfriend broke up with her. As a side note, she lived with him in his very nice […] The post updates: employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance. Our company has an unlimited PTO policy, with most people on the team taking about 15-20 days, usually no more than five straight days at a time. (So one week off per quarter, just about) I have a team member who has […] The post should I tell an employee she should take less time off if she wants better projects? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee dropped the ball on something major while I was away I am the executive director of a small charity. I had the opportunity to support my mom on a three-week holiday in Europe, all expenses paid. My organization had six months notice and […] The post my employee dropped the ball while I was away, my husband’s boss is coming on to him, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job). Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off […] The post did I cross a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization I volunteer for? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: You’ve talked about how inappropriate it is for employers to ask candidates about their salary expectations without giving out any info on salary themselves. I became a small business owner without having received training in that aspect of things, but learned early on when I am hiring to always ask the candidate […] The post I ask candidates their salary expectations, and I don’t feel bad about it appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am in an unusual position at work and I wondered what your point of view on this would be. I work for a close-knit, very interdependent team in a small company. I first told my manager I was pregnant once I finished my first trimester, so that I’d get permission to […] The post my boss won’t let me tell coworkers that I’m pregnant appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want my team to offer solutions to a department that’s been messing up I work in compliance. Right now I’m in a situation where an aspect of our programs isn’t being followed because the area is being under-resourced. This was noticed by an […] The post our office is filthy, I don’t want my team to offer solutions to another department, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Great Big Beautiful Life, by Emily Henry. Two very different writers — one an outgoing celebrity journalist and one a Pulitzer-Prize-winning curmudgeon — […] The post weekend open thread – October 4-5, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – October 3, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Moving people to a new team just so they can be fired This got relayed to me from a coworker who is in a supervisory role, Dorothy. She has a direct report who she is working on terminating, as this individual has not been meeting […] The post moving people to a new team just so they can be fired, only some people are getting retention bonuses, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.