Austin Coolguy 🔪⭐️
@austincoolguy.bsky.social
Your favorite shitposter’s favorite shitposter // 31 // he/him
Marty Supreme:
January 7, 2026 at 6:03 PM
Marty Supreme:
Insane that the movie the studios are choosing to fight Sinners as the obvious Movie-of-the-Year is “White boy plays ping pong”
January 7, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Insane that the movie the studios are choosing to fight Sinners as the obvious Movie-of-the-Year is “White boy plays ping pong”
My goal is to get back into shitposting this year and they can’t all be bangers so we have to work our way back up okay
January 6, 2026 at 2:04 AM
My goal is to get back into shitposting this year and they can’t all be bangers so we have to work our way back up okay
If an apple a day keeps the regular doctor away, then someone tell the pie doctor to watch out
January 6, 2026 at 2:04 AM
If an apple a day keeps the regular doctor away, then someone tell the pie doctor to watch out
I’m positive that a large amount of my hearing damage I acquired from being in a band wasn’t from playing at high volumes, but from all of us constantly yelling “WOOOOOAHHHEYYYYYY” from the theme to MGSV which has recently released at the time.
December 30, 2025 at 8:37 PM
I’m positive that a large amount of my hearing damage I acquired from being in a band wasn’t from playing at high volumes, but from all of us constantly yelling “WOOOOOAHHHEYYYYYY” from the theme to MGSV which has recently released at the time.
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for that meddling Florence …And that machine!
December 30, 2025 at 8:22 PM
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for that meddling Florence …And that machine!
Dr. Pepper is the Barbecue sauce of drinks
December 30, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Dr. Pepper is the Barbecue sauce of drinks
This reply is honestly more brutal than the OG tweet
December 7, 2025 at 5:48 PM
This reply is honestly more brutal than the OG tweet
Confucius says, “the most based man has experienced 1000 cringe moments”
December 7, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Confucius says, “the most based man has experienced 1000 cringe moments”
“In my right hand: The Whip. Simple. Quick. Powerful. A bastion of strength. In my left hand: The Nae Nae. Smooth. Serene. Freeing. A showcase of elegance. Which will you choose, Neo?”
December 4, 2025 at 4:00 AM
“In my right hand: The Whip. Simple. Quick. Powerful. A bastion of strength. In my left hand: The Nae Nae. Smooth. Serene. Freeing. A showcase of elegance. Which will you choose, Neo?”
It was! Thank you so much!! It’s nice to hear from you! I hope you are doing well!
December 2, 2025 at 3:17 AM
It was! Thank you so much!! It’s nice to hear from you! I hope you are doing well!
This is so funny. Thank you for sharing.
December 2, 2025 at 3:17 AM
This is so funny. Thank you for sharing.
No person is “based” on stolen land
December 1, 2025 at 10:20 PM
No person is “based” on stolen land
It would be WILD if the Trump regime fell not because he raped multiple women/girls, because he’s embezzled billions of dollars, greatly weakened America’s global standing, or permanently fucked the economy, but instead because there’s an embarrassing picture of him sucking a dude’s dick.
November 14, 2025 at 10:07 PM
It would be WILD if the Trump regime fell not because he raped multiple women/girls, because he’s embezzled billions of dollars, greatly weakened America’s global standing, or permanently fucked the economy, but instead because there’s an embarrassing picture of him sucking a dude’s dick.
All I’m saying is it’s insane to be a flight risk while on Air Force One.
November 14, 2025 at 6:08 PM
All I’m saying is it’s insane to be a flight risk while on Air Force One.
The gay bar? Like, to be a gay lawyer?
November 11, 2025 at 8:32 PM
The gay bar? Like, to be a gay lawyer?
You mean THAT’S what sweet dreams are made of? Pfft. Pathetic.
November 7, 2025 at 11:57 PM
You mean THAT’S what sweet dreams are made of? Pfft. Pathetic.
Went to the Penis store yesterday. Wouldn’t you believe it? Only had balls.
November 7, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Went to the Penis store yesterday. Wouldn’t you believe it? Only had balls.
No Prostate November
November 7, 2025 at 3:35 AM
No Prostate November
Four fucking days! It took my brain four fucking days to ruin my mental health post-daylight saving time!
November 6, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Four fucking days! It took my brain four fucking days to ruin my mental health post-daylight saving time!
Mentally applying the e-brake in third gear after being triggered because I need to apply what I’ve learned in therapy hrnghhhh
November 6, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Mentally applying the e-brake in third gear after being triggered because I need to apply what I’ve learned in therapy hrnghhhh
It’s like they say: if you can’t beat your meat, get out of the kitchen
November 4, 2025 at 8:43 PM
It’s like they say: if you can’t beat your meat, get out of the kitchen
I hope this email tracks you down to the ends of the earth
November 3, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I hope this email tracks you down to the ends of the earth
Pride: okay I mean like, that’s not that bad I guess.
Prejudice: what the fuck. what the hell is this shit
Prejudice: what the fuck. what the hell is this shit
October 30, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Pride: okay I mean like, that’s not that bad I guess.
Prejudice: what the fuck. what the hell is this shit
Prejudice: what the fuck. what the hell is this shit
Went to the JoJo’s museum exhibit in SF this weekend. If I don’t look at my bank account, the numbers can’t hurt me.
October 26, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Went to the JoJo’s museum exhibit in SF this weekend. If I don’t look at my bank account, the numbers can’t hurt me.