why did it have to kill HIM. of all people... why couldn't it have been ANYONE else.
please god just make this fucking horror end....

i cant stop freaking out. i've been having a panic attack for well over three hours.
it's just every day. i'm in so much pain. i hate everything. i just dont know what to do..

why couldn't it have been anyone else.
ANYONE else.
EVERYONE ELSE

HEY! I'm also an Autumn Ferret. it's even my name~
and i've always said i smell like pumpkin spice and cinnamon. you accidentally perfectly described ME! hehe

the universe murdered the only artist i ever cared about. he was only 40. he had SO MUCH left. SO MUCH he still wanted to do. but he's just gone now. i NEVER get to see my favorite creator again. i never even got to speak to him. nothing will EVER be enough to fill this hole in my soul....

i just simply cant find a way to enjoy life anymore.
the ONLY thing i ever cared about was enjoying and creating art. but now art is connected with so much pain in my head. i just HATE living now. i cant relax. i cant breath. i'm just scared and lost ALL THE TIME.

i just dont know what to do anymore.
the universe somehow pinpointed THE ONLY thing i cared about and killed it in the NUMBER ONE way that has terrified me my whole life. and now i genuinely just feel dead inside. and that pain isn't going away. if anything, it's getting worse.

i spent the last 7 years trying desperately to become an artist in a vain attempt to be someone special and someday be able to form connections with the artists i was looking up to. but now, it just feels worthless. i cant enjoy art anymore. all i can ever think about is what i'm missing now.

but it's just not here anymore. no other artist gives me that same feeling. it feels like art itself is missing the joy now. now that my favorite artist and my reason for becoming an artist is gone now, and i never ever got the chance to meet him. art just feels worthless now...

i am missing such a HUGE part of why i started doing art in the first place. the main inspiration and my favorite side of the artist community. that number one thing is gone now and for over a year now i've desperately tried to find it elsewhere. tried to find that thing i loved so much in others.

hey! i know that guy~

thinking about him every day.
This is the song that hits hard for me when i think of him and how i missed my chance to meet my hero
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYW-...

is this needle felting?
really love the look of this~

it's funny how many vore fans have really REALLY early memories of being interested in vore before we even knew what it was.
i remember being like 7 years old and thinking it would be SO cool to be eaten by a snake~ >w<

thank you so much. i am quite pleased with her ^w^

oh only ALL the freaking time~
it's not fun

i lovelovelove this lil guy!~
i really want my ferret character to have a slightly more 'zootopia' body type like this as well~ ^^

OK! auction link! if you wanna own this one of a kind Mal0 statue then now's your chance!
ych.commishes.com/auction/show...

a couple attempts at some moody photos of Mal0~

omg the freaking typos in my post. my gawd.

also not doing great.
but trying to take comfort in my friends and the things i care about.
there is a LOT out there that is horrible right now. but we cant give in the the despair.

and heres the back angle. just a little black tentacle-y thing i made to prop the phone up nicely~

AND heres a video shower her off in all her glory!
yes, that IS a REAL phone that she's crawling out of.
the phone is removable and completely functional.
the phone IS included with the purchase of the sculpture but i have to warn you it's just some cheap pawn shot phone i found~ >w<

ok, she is complete!!! just 15 days from idea to finished sculpture.
i. am. BEYOND thrilled with her. she is EXACTLY what i pictured when i came up with the idea.
i'm still planning on posting her for auction so stay tuned for that link if you're interested~