Brian Levine
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balevine.com
Brian Levine
@balevine.com
Tech, customer support, unions.
Co-founder of Yetto.
Guitarist for Balance.
Other assorted things you never heard of.

yetto.app - balevine.com
Buh.

Hambug.
December 25, 2025 at 4:06 AM
If you’re going out to eat over the holidays and tipping less than 25% regardless of the quality of the service, I think you’re a bad person.

(This is specific to the United States. Europeans can stay out of this.)
December 25, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Billionaires shouldn’t be allowed to use social media. Or computers. They can earn that privilege back by giving away their money.
December 25, 2025 at 2:13 AM
It’s weird that “ham fisted” is an insult.
December 22, 2025 at 4:14 AM
I once saw a dude jogging in the airport. Gym shorts, t-shirt, covered in sweat. Running and dodging people in Terminal C at Newark Airport.

You don't want that. Nobody wants that. Please let's all just travel in peace and as little sweating and coughing on other people as possible.
December 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Mayonnaise is just finely pureed egg salad. Change my mind.
December 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Thank god we're living in a simulation. Can you imagine if this were real? All of this? It boggles the mind.
November 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Let's everybody settle down.
November 28, 2025 at 1:51 PM
I don't think there's anything more satisfying than sitting at a coffee shop, at a small table on the sidewalk, drinking a cappuccino and reading a book while a dog lounges at your feet.
November 16, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Why are we putting pianos in airports? That shit should be illegal. Or at least subject to public shame.
October 29, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Reposted by Brian Levine
ROY BATTY: …I rode on the back decks of a blinker and watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments... they'll be gone.
CHATGPT: That’s a powerful story 🎯 Thank you for sharing with me! It really spoke to your passion for space! 🚀
October 23, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Sorry about us-east-1. I was trimming some hedges and didn't notice that cable. Should have it all taped up by Friday.
October 20, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Reposted by Brian Levine
And then it would happen two dozen more times before an article comes out on CNN with the headline “Three Dead After Humanoid Drink Pitcher Tramples Entire Family”, describing how previous incidents had gone without investigation.
October 14, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Reposted by Brian Levine
You better believe if an anthropomorphic pitcher of sugary kid’s drink burst through your living room wall, the police would show up 30 minutes later to take a statement and file it away without taking a single action.
October 14, 2025 at 10:50 PM
There are two kinds of people in this world.

And they're both terrible.
October 13, 2025 at 5:37 PM
One of those days where you get up and put your ass on inside out.
October 11, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Comply in advance? Brother, I don’t even wipe.
October 3, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Kafka's "Metamorphosis" except it's me and I wake up as a crab and my family and friends are totally okay with it. However, I'm still unable to get to work on time.
September 30, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Software sucks and we shouldn't have to use it.
September 30, 2025 at 3:58 PM
If I’m ever asked to name two people who were born at the ideal time and place for who they are, I would name Charles Munger and Ray Romano. Easy.
September 10, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Whenever two famous people die within a week of each other, I instinctively say, "Kissinger when?"

This is a habit I have no interest in breaking.
September 9, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Thank god for AI slop. I was running out of content to consume.
September 6, 2025 at 12:52 PM
8 hours for rest
8 hours for work
8 hours for more work
September 1, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Open mouth coughing at the airport is so back.
August 31, 2025 at 3:44 AM
I'll bet that doctor hated Pagliacci.
August 28, 2025 at 5:59 PM