just rick rolled myself in the shower

i think it’s really brave that Kermit switched careers to journalism so late in life

dude at a car wash tried to get me to stop using a yellow sign that said “neutral (no brakes)” what a fool

are you a girl who fidgets?
or a BITCH that STIMS

You can tell how busy I am by how many unfinished board games are set up in my house.

we need a peepeepoopoo renaissance

Explaining overall anxiety level by when you refill your gas tank (my level is “wait for the light to come on”)

friends told me to stop joking about wanting to kill myself. guess i’ll stop beating the dead horse i wish i was

Welcome to Bluesky!

You are now required to:

Supporting defunding and abolishing police

Tear down capitalism and white supremacy

Support queer and trans liberation

A bunch of other stuff

Shaving my butt hairs to up my fart game

i’m just a little guy standing in front of another little guy, asking them to help me climb onto the counter to steal a cookie from the cookie jar