Beef (Cool Guy)
@beefofficial.bsky.social
Direct to video sequels-based lifeform from the smoldering wreckage of Minneapolis.
https://letterboxd.com/murderhavenmn/
https://letterboxd.com/murderhavenmn/
Pinned
2026 Baby Names by Popularity:
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
Hard to believe it’s been five years but the good news is that time flies and we’ll all be dead sooner than we think!
January 6, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Hard to believe it’s been five years but the good news is that time flies and we’ll all be dead sooner than we think!
Cool how every news item boils down to “someone was going to do the right thing but then trump called their boss and the boss made sure that this person was punished and that the extreme opposite negative thing is now permanent company policy.”
January 6, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Cool how every news item boils down to “someone was going to do the right thing but then trump called their boss and the boss made sure that this person was punished and that the extreme opposite negative thing is now permanent company policy.”
What the fuck is this now?
January 5, 2026 at 5:40 AM
What the fuck is this now?
2026 Baby Names by Popularity:
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
January 2, 2026 at 12:11 AM
2026 Baby Names by Popularity:
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
ICEE
Reicher
Eborcean
Newness
Newsense
Cullambeighn
THOTley
Baggler
Dronestrike
Zioneste
Diznij (pronounced "Disney")
Phuckett
Since no one asked here's a normie post for you: I realized the other day that I haven't had a bowl of cereal in probably three years, so I am legitimately a little excited for these frosted cheerios I'm going to eat later.
December 18, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Since no one asked here's a normie post for you: I realized the other day that I haven't had a bowl of cereal in probably three years, so I am legitimately a little excited for these frosted cheerios I'm going to eat later.
POTUS: Kill or jail all democrats. I am openly encouraging my supporters to enact physical violence upon my opponents. Shoot them with a gun. I am not kidding. I am saying this sincerely as President.
Dem Thought Leaders: I am starting to think President DUMP is the one who should be called PIGGY!
Dem Thought Leaders: I am starting to think President DUMP is the one who should be called PIGGY!
December 18, 2025 at 1:38 AM
POTUS: Kill or jail all democrats. I am openly encouraging my supporters to enact physical violence upon my opponents. Shoot them with a gun. I am not kidding. I am saying this sincerely as President.
Dem Thought Leaders: I am starting to think President DUMP is the one who should be called PIGGY!
Dem Thought Leaders: I am starting to think President DUMP is the one who should be called PIGGY!
Trump, to staff: "We've still got Cactus Jack, right??"
December 17, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Trump, to staff: "We've still got Cactus Jack, right??"
We should all be grateful that AI enthusiasts are universally evangelical about it because this makes them VERY easy to avoid.
December 15, 2025 at 10:23 PM
We should all be grateful that AI enthusiasts are universally evangelical about it because this makes them VERY easy to avoid.
Republican hitting play on The Sopranos for the first time: “WOKE??? No THANK YOU!”
December 13, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Republican hitting play on The Sopranos for the first time: “WOKE??? No THANK YOU!”
Winter? More like Lose-ter.
December 6, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Winter? More like Lose-ter.
Australian Star Wars fans love Arby Waun Kenarby.
December 4, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Australian Star Wars fans love Arby Waun Kenarby.
I think I’ll start exiting social situations by standing up and announcing, “I have to go put in my diaphragm!”
December 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I think I’ll start exiting social situations by standing up and announcing, “I have to go put in my diaphragm!”
trying to decide if I want to a) finally watch all of Mad Men or b) ever have a chance of quitting smoking
December 3, 2025 at 2:35 AM
trying to decide if I want to a) finally watch all of Mad Men or b) ever have a chance of quitting smoking
He's been a major public figure for years but it still shocks me when he opens his mouth and a deep, masculine voice comes out rather than the voice of, say, a nutcracker or gingerbread man who somehow came to life.
RAJU: If defenseless survivors were killed, would that constitute a violation of the laws of war?
MIKE JOHNSON: I'm not going to prejudge any of that. I was pretty busy yesterday. I didn't follow a lot of the news.
MIKE JOHNSON: I'm not going to prejudge any of that. I was pretty busy yesterday. I didn't follow a lot of the news.
December 2, 2025 at 7:37 PM
He's been a major public figure for years but it still shocks me when he opens his mouth and a deep, masculine voice comes out rather than the voice of, say, a nutcracker or gingerbread man who somehow came to life.
I think Tim Robinson both perfected and ruined the current iteration of the popular “Sudden Screaming/Irrational Freakout” wing of comedy and it’s time to move on.
Conner O’Malley is his own thing though.
Conner O’Malley is his own thing though.
December 1, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I think Tim Robinson both perfected and ruined the current iteration of the popular “Sudden Screaming/Irrational Freakout” wing of comedy and it’s time to move on.
Conner O’Malley is his own thing though.
Conner O’Malley is his own thing though.
Two big problems with this cup, one is you literally cannot see the movie while drinking from it and two there doesn’t seem to be a way to have sex with it
November 28, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Two big problems with this cup, one is you literally cannot see the movie while drinking from it and two there doesn’t seem to be a way to have sex with it
I’m envious of people with longer/more unique surnames because when I check in somewhere and give mine the person typing it in never guesses my first name on the first try and I never get to reply, “That’s meeeeee!” This has basically ruined my life.
November 27, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I’m envious of people with longer/more unique surnames because when I check in somewhere and give mine the person typing it in never guesses my first name on the first try and I never get to reply, “That’s meeeeee!” This has basically ruined my life.
You know, Cajuns are kind of like our Australians.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 AM
You know, Cajuns are kind of like our Australians.
The Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Memorial Swarm of Locusts?
The Donald J. Trump Memorial Particulate Cloud
November 27, 2025 at 1:45 AM
The Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Memorial Swarm of Locusts?
Tyler Perry’s House of Long COVID” and it’s just people getting really sick in a self-sustaining cycle
November 25, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Tyler Perry’s House of Long COVID” and it’s just people getting really sick in a self-sustaining cycle
It would be nice to see a mid-budget R-rated character drama released every once in awhile. One that isn't Oscarbatory or trying to be called a "Colossal Achievement" or "New American Epic." Like "Cop Land," that was a good one.
November 23, 2025 at 9:56 PM
It would be nice to see a mid-budget R-rated character drama released every once in awhile. One that isn't Oscarbatory or trying to be called a "Colossal Achievement" or "New American Epic." Like "Cop Land," that was a good one.
This smile affirms what I’ve always said: the president’s pathology revolves completely and totally around wanting to associate with people he sees as being well-liked. He literally destroyed American democracy because people like Zohran stopped inviting him to parties.
#zohranmamdani
#zohranmamdani
November 21, 2025 at 10:10 PM
This smile affirms what I’ve always said: the president’s pathology revolves completely and totally around wanting to associate with people he sees as being well-liked. He literally destroyed American democracy because people like Zohran stopped inviting him to parties.
#zohranmamdani
#zohranmamdani
Celebrated International Men’s Day or whatever it was yesterday by cooking an entire pork tenderloin and then picking at it joylessly for the next 24 hours.
November 21, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Celebrated International Men’s Day or whatever it was yesterday by cooking an entire pork tenderloin and then picking at it joylessly for the next 24 hours.
hangin wit da boyz hell yeah hell yeah
November 20, 2025 at 5:59 PM
hangin wit da boyz hell yeah hell yeah
I enjoy the relatively peaceful tone of BlueSky but it does piss me off when I see a post with 1.4K likes that’s like “The word ‘sleet’ almost feels like onomatopoeia? Hmm…🙂↕️”
November 20, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I enjoy the relatively peaceful tone of BlueSky but it does piss me off when I see a post with 1.4K likes that’s like “The word ‘sleet’ almost feels like onomatopoeia? Hmm…🙂↕️”