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berndpulch.bsky.social
Berndpulch.org
@berndpulch.bsky.social
"I circumnavigated the globe and reshaped the world's trade routes. Now I spend my days navigating corporate policy and trade compliance forms." 🌍📄⚓ #MaritimeAcquisitions #CorporatePiracy
berndpulch.org/2025/12/16/i...
“I circumnavigated the globe and reshaped the world’s trade routes. Now I spend my days navigating corporate policy and trade compliance forms.” 🌍📄⚓ #MaritimeAcquisitions #CorporatePiracy
“They gave me a fleet and a letter of marque. Now I need a letter of approval from Legal before I can even board a rival ship.” ⚓⚖️😤 #SirFrancisDrake #CorporatePiracy #NavigationalStrat…
berndpulch.org
December 16, 2025 at 4:10 PM
🔥🤡 NEW SATIRE: “BÄRBEL BAS, THE BASWOMAN, AND THE GREAT TRAFFIC JAM OF DEMOCRACY” 🚦🏛️💥
berndpulch.org/2025/12/13/%...
🔥🤡 NEW SATIRE: “BÄRBEL BAS, THE BASWOMAN, AND THE GREAT TRAFFIC JAM OF DEMOCRACY” 🚦🏛️💥
Caption:When democracy hits the brakes — and bureaucracy takes the wheel 🚦🏛️🟥 🕘 08:01 AM — BERLIN, BUNDESTAG.Democracy is late again.And standing in the middle of the intersection, whistle in mouth…
berndpulch.org
December 13, 2025 at 4:22 PM
🇺🇳 OSAMA’S UN TAKEOVER: From EU President to Secretary-General – The Global Caliphate Endgame Begins! 🇺🇳🕋🌍💥
berndpulch.org/2025/12/12/%...
🇺🇳 OSAMA’S UN TAKEOVER: From EU President to Secretary-General – The Global Caliphate Endgame Begins! 🇺🇳🕋🌍💥
🇺🇳🌍🕋 OSAMA CROWNED GLOBAL CALIPH: Turtle Bay Turns Green Dome 🔥💥☢️From Tora Bora Cave to UN Throne – One World, One Ummah, Total Domination! 👑🕌🌐“Mushroom Clouds Over Manhattan? Just My Inauguration…
berndpulch.org
December 12, 2025 at 4:07 PM
"I completed twelve impossible labors to atone for a divine mistake. Now I have infinite impossible paperwork to atone for a missing purchase order." 🦁📄✍️ #DivineOutcomes #LaborManagement
berndpulch.org/2025/12/09/i...
“I completed twelve impossible labors to atone for a divine mistake. Now I have infinite impossible paperwork to atone for a missing purchase order.” 🦁📄✍️ #DivineOutcomes #LaborManagement
“They said cleaning the Augean Stables in a day was impossible. Try getting Facilities to approve the expense for the river I diverted to do it.” 🏛️🌊💸 #HerculeanTasks #ModernLabors #Gre…
berndpulch.org
December 9, 2025 at 3:42 PM
ABOVE-TOP-SECRET: ATS/Σ-NSS/1125-ANALYTIC-01 SOURCE: U.S. National Security Strategy, November 2025 - Implications & Predictions
berndpulch.org/2025/12/08/a...
ABOVE-TOP-SECRET: ATS/Σ-NSS/1125-ANALYTIC-01 SOURCE: U.S. National Security Strategy, November 2025 – Implications & Predictions
🔥 CAPTION 🔥Inside Washington’s newest “grand strategy,” every paragraph is a smoke signal: China as the pacing threat, Europe as a collapsing buffer, Ukraine as a permanent proxy front, AI as the n…
berndpulch.org
December 8, 2025 at 2:36 PM
GERMADY 🇬🇧🔥🚨🤡🔥 GERMADY GOES FULL CLOWNMODE: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF TURN THE REICHSTAG INTO A PANIC CIRCUS 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
berndpulch.org/2025/12/08/g...
GERMADY 🇬🇧🔥🚨🤡🔥 GERMADY GOES FULL CLOWNMODE: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF TURN THE REICHSTAG INTO A PANIC CIRCUS 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
“🇩🇪🪩🔥 Reichstag Disco Chaos at 03:14 a.m.: Baswoman flying 🤩, Scholzilla stomping 😴🦖, FDPunisher roaring 🏍️💥, Grünbat zooming 🌱⚡, and the Communist Mini-Dwarf causing Marxist mayhem 🔨🧛‍♂️📕 — German…
berndpulch.org
December 8, 2025 at 11:18 AM
�🚨🤡 GERMADY COLLAPSES INTO CHAOS: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST DWARF TAKE OVER THE REICHSTAG 💣🪩📁�🤡
berndpulch.org/2025/12/06/%...
�🚨🤡 GERMADY COLLAPSES INTO CHAOS: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST DWARF TAKE OVER THE REICHSTAG 💣🪩📁�🤡
🚨🤡 DEUTSCHLAND STÜRZT INS CHAOS: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & DER KOMMUNISTISCHE ZWERG ÜBERNEHMEN DEN REICHSTAG 💣🪩📁 🚨📰🤡 BREAKING: GERMADY PILOT DROPS!“The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum” – Emoji…
berndpulch.org
December 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
🔥 BÄRBEL BAS — SUPREME LEADER OF SPD-STAN: The Woman Who Shrunk a Party Into a Desk Drawer - BASWOMAN!!!🔥
berndpulch.org/2025/12/06/%...
🔥 BÄRBEL BAS — SUPREME LEADER OF SPD-STAN: The Woman Who Shrunk a Party Into a Desk Drawer – BASWOMAN!!!🔥
English Version:🦸‍♀️🔥In the smoke-chaos of the Willy-Brandt-Haus lands BASWOMAN – the Crimson Titaness – with the force of a bureaucratic meteor. Her suit glows like socialist steel, her cape, a fl…
berndpulch.org
December 6, 2025 at 9:11 AM
"I was built to defy God and conquer death. Now I spend my days conquering spreadsheets and defying the procurement department." ⚡📊🤖 #ModernPrometheus #AbnormalOperations
berndpulch.org/2025/12/05/i...
“I was built to defy God and conquer death. Now I spend my days conquering spreadsheets and defying the procurement department.” ⚡📊🤖 #ModernPrometheus #AbnormalOperations
“They used lightning to give me life. Now I need it to power the spreadsheet tracking my own assembly costs.” ⚡📊🤖 #ModernPrometheus #AbnormalOperations #ReanimationResources #MonsterMan…
berndpulch.org
December 5, 2025 at 1:23 PM
🇧🇷 “2,760 BRIBE, 140 MILLION PRIZE: Inside the 3-Hour Brazilian Central Bank Heist That Exposed the World’s Softest Cyber-Target”
berndpulch.org/2025/12/04/%...
🇧🇷 “2,760 BRIBE, 140 MILLION PRIZE: Inside the 3-Hour Brazilian Central Bank Heist That Exposed the World’s Softest Cyber-Target”
🕰️ 02:14 BRT, 14 Mar 2025 — R 5 000 in wet purple notes changes hands down a neon-soaked São Paulo alley: the 2 760 bribe that unlocked a 140 million Central Bank vault three months later. THE BRAZ…
berndpulch.org
December 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
🐺🛰️ FRIEDRICH MERZ LAUNCHES “GERMANIA 2.0”: A SPACE COLONY RUN LIKE A CORPORATE BOARDROOM 🚀📉👔
berndpulch.org/2025/12/04/%...
🐺🛰️ FRIEDRICH MERZ LAUNCHES “GERMANIA 2.0”: A SPACE COLONY RUN LIKE A CORPORATE BOARDROOM 🚀📉👔
🚀 The Shareholder’s Gaze 👁️‍🗨️On GERMANIA-2 🛰️, the CEO-Emperor of the Final Frontier audits a dying Earth 🌍⚠️, while the air he privatized runs out 💨📉 and the help desks begin to float 👩‍💼⬆️.🚀 The…
berndpulch.org
December 4, 2025 at 2:24 PM
🛰️🔥 Christian Lindner Declares “The Republic of Neoliberia”: A Floating Tax Haven Above Europe 💸☁️🚁
berndpulch.org/2025/12/02/%...
🛰️🔥 Christian Lindner Declares “The Republic of Neoliberia”: A Floating Tax Haven Above Europe 💸☁️🚁
Caption:🛰️💸 Christian Lindner, self-crowned Sky Chancellor of “Neoliberia,” surveys Europe from his golden floating tax haven — where champagne flows, startups are mandatory, and gravity is for the…
berndpulch.org
December 2, 2025 at 3:17 PM
❄️🐧👑 Ursula von der Leyen Rules Antarctica: The Frozen Technocracy of the Penguin Republic 🧊🚨📘✨
berndpulch.org/2025/11/27/%...
❄️🐧👑 Ursula von der Leyen Rules Antarctica: The Frozen Technocracy of the Penguin Republic 🧊🚨📘✨
Caption:❄️👑 Ursula von der Leyen, newly anointed “Ice Empress of Antarctica,” proudly unveils her grand socialist utopia — seconds before realizing even the South Pole has run out of ice. 🧊🚫🌡️🐧📉 Me…
berndpulch.org
November 27, 2025 at 1:03 PM
A Day in the Life of Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective & Principal of Evidence-Based Analytics 🕵️‍♂️🔍📈
berndpulch.org/2025/11/24/a...
A Day in the Life of Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective & Principal of Evidence-Based Analytics 🕵️‍♂️🔍📈
“The criminal mind leaves complex patterns, but IT’s password policy is the true unsolvable mystery.” 🕵️‍♂️🔐 #DataDetective #ConsultingAnalyst #ElementaryMyDearWatson #EvidenceBas…
berndpulch.org
November 24, 2025 at 1:30 PM
🇪🇺 OSAMA’S BRUSSELS BLITZKRIEG: From Bundeskanzler to EU Commission President – The Ultimate Caliphate Power-Grab! 🇪🇺🕋🔥
berndpulch.org/2025/11/22/%...
🇪🇺 OSAMA’S BRUSSELS BLITZKRIEG: From Bundeskanzler to EU Commission President – The Ultimate Caliphate Power-Grab! 🇪🇺🕋🔥
🇪🇺 BRUSSELS FALLS: The Night Europe Kneeled – Minarets Rise Over Berlaymont as the Caliphate Crowns Its Continental King! 🕋💥“One Ummah. One Union. Zero Mercy.” – President Osama, 22 November 2025EU…
berndpulch.org
November 22, 2025 at 1:18 PM
👑🧛‍♀️🦇🏰 VAMPIRELLA VS. THE PRIME: When Comics' Dark Icon Challenges Ravenswood's New Order! 🏰🦇🧛‍♀️👑
berndpulch.org/2025/11/21/%...
👑🧛‍♀️🦇🏰 VAMPIRELLA VS. THE PRIME: When Comics’ Dark Icon Challenges Ravenswood’s New Order! 🏰🦇🧛‍♀️👑
“Two queens, two universes, one throne. The blood will be spilled in at least four primary colors.” 👑🦇🎨Alternate version:”Gothic tradition meets four-color rebellion. The only thi…
berndpulch.org
November 21, 2025 at 2:20 PM