// kermit you sick bastard

!! BIKINI BOTTOM MORNING NEWS !!
To start off your day with a nutritious news story, the Krusty Krab is now selling delicious Breakfast goodies, 6:00 AM - 10:00 AM!
Be sure to go down to the Krusty Krab and try out their new Breakfast limited items!
(This post was sponsored by The Krusty Krab™️)

We are sincerely sorry for the supposed lie we spreaded about Eugene H. Krabs and the kidnapping of Bubble Bass. We did not mean to spread such misinformation, as we were told by an important source of ours that this had occurred. We here at the Bikini Bottom News Station own up to our (1/2)

mistakes and sincerely apologize for this miscommunication between 2 parties.
Eugene Harold Krabs has been sent free from the federal prison. (2/2)

// YES

We are sincerely sorry for the supposed lie we spreaded about Eugene H. Krabs and the kidnapping of Bubble Bass. We did not mean to spread such misinformation, as we were told by an important source of ours that this had occurred. We here at the Bikini Bottom News Station own up to our (1/2)

// spongebob bsky parody community lore goes hard

The accusations are false.

// why did this post make me burst out laughing 😭😭😭😭

!! NEWS UPDATE !!
Upon further inspection, Bubble Bass was found tied up and beaten inside of Mr. Krabs' cellar in his house. Mr. Krabs has been arrested for assault and kidnapping, and will serve a sentence of 7 years.

!! BREAKING NEWS !!
Eugene H. Krabs, owner of the Krusty Krab has been taken into police custody in suspicion of being the cause of Bubble Bass' disappearance, and is currently being interrogated by detectives. We will keep you updated on the situation.

!! BIKINI BOTTOM NEWS REPORT !!
Local food reviewer and degenerate "Bubble Bass" has gone missing. His whereabouts are unknown, and he was last seen in the back of the Krusty Krab. If you find this man, please report it to the authorities. Or not, we aren't your dad.

Welcome to the Bikini Bottom News Station, your #1 news channel and account for the local town of Bikini Bottom!

// Bikini Bottom News Station Gimmick Account!!

Ran by boxboi.bsky.social