Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 17h

Some sirta Bubbatron

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 17h

Not feeling safe enough to return to my childhood backyard and pretend to fight dragons while jumping between the rocks has severely hindered my creative process

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 3d

Doin fitty reps of “but daahaad” voice training for my new screen name/profile pic

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

The best part of coming up with loose in character bits for this account is immediately breaking character the very next post

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Uhhhh “gotdangit bobbeh I told ya not to listen to that dinosaurus bout climate change, now Las Vegas is *shudders* glass”

*end of the episode*

“well ya know hwut I don’t mind the chance to reflect over a niiice mint lemonade without any people around. That fellah might just’ve fixed nevada”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Growing up with so much bootleg American media it’s no wonder I grew into a teenager who was really into invincible for a hot sec

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Pondsmith prognostications which map*

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

“I didn’t know what South Park was at the time, but they had tons of blown out JPEGs of those silly guys printed out everywhere. Somebody ought to have told them that it ain’t raight to steal Intellectual property, spesh-ly from livertarians”

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

“Had a sign with Kenny, Cartman, Kyle, and Stan up real big and high on the top of the building. Like they were cut out of paper. It was really tastefully executed, man I tell you hwut.”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

heartening to hear as a cartoon character with fond memories

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

There’s a Snow World which according to trusted fictional sources was “themed after South Park ’round ‘bout ‘04, with ski slopes smoother than a hwite baby’s ass”. according to ibnbattutatraveldotcom its still “good place” and places for adventur…

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

“They let the little boys go to the pool with the women on Family days but it was off limits ‘cept on Fridays once ur nuts dropped or your mustache grew past ur lips, whichsoever came first”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

By 2000 they’ve created all kinds of unholy AmericanAabominations inside and outside the bounds of the “compound”, from golf courses and swanky water parks which visibly stick out on Google maps. Nobody aka Nemo has been quoted saying “Mah lil brother saw his first tiddy there heading to the shower”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

*Allegedly* there were good ol grain alcohol distilleries built in the houses of some of the first GIs who got stationed there for extended periods of time. Arabian origin yet somehow American good ol’ fashion Shine. Just imagine the smell of that dog sweat hooch buddy

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Much of this funding is American in origin, going back to the US military days after ww2 when this all got stuck up. But in perticalar the compound where many Americans, Brit’s, etc. settled

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

*r*mc* is a company in the rich tradition of corpos plucked from the cyberpunk tabletop setting and dropped into our reality. I’d put money on at least a couple prognostications map cleanly onto the shit those fellers are cookin whether or not they got anything to do with the Hydrocarbon industry

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Like, SHTUPID MONEY

a man is holding a bag of money and says we gettin arab money

ALT: a man is holding a bag of money and says we gettin arab money

media.tenor.com

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

The backbone of all this is of course stupid money

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Taking this as an opportunity to post some declassified memories of the spotty but sometimes uncanny facsimile of America which exists on the eastern coast of the Arabian peninsula. Unrelated to the experiences of any individuals assoc. Could in fact just be stories some guy made up!

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Their mic remains unplugged but their spirit possessed one of the 3 main hosts for one “YESSS” which is how it ended up in the recording. Paranormal researches have dubbed this individual the “Trek and Inflation Enjoyer”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

They haunt the podcast and also serve as a meta-narrative framing device for the secret fully animated videos which sit delisted on a TFTS YouTube channel. They’ve only made their voice heard in one episode so far, ironically, during the ice cream man discussion, at the mention of “inflation stuff”

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Going for the dark horse pick here and guessing it’s the secret fourth mic who just sits on the recordings with y’all and breathes heavily into a mic that isn’t plugged in. They wear a red shirt with a puff paint starfleet delta. Only perking up at the mention of Star Trek. An Ice Cream man type.

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Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

A mean visual gag like fine steak over propane*

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

The constant reintroduction of characters via title pages never gets old, and it brings me back to an almost Calvin-and-Hobbes-reading state of pure joy. The bat prank war has finally arrived where I’m at and despite hearing so much I’m still finding myself giggling out loud.

a man in a blue sweater is reading a book called sensible chuckle

ALT: a man in a blue sweater is reading a book called sensible chuckle

media.tenor.com

Bobbeh Baraka @bilalblemmye.bsky.social · 4d

Going through Jimmy Olsen rn and by gahwddddd that lieber can cook mean a visual gag like a fine steak over propane. Meant to read this for a while, but y’all were the kick in the pants I needed. I’m taking my time with it and really enjoying these bite sized stories it’s packed with.

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