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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 2h

so I slept for a bit under 3 hours and now I am awake again and can't sleep and also aware that I had a bunch of really truly awful thoughts yesterday but I don't know what to do about it

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 6h

I feel gross and disgusting even after pulling out of it. like all of the stuff about being selfish and not caring about anyone else even one time in my life is all true

(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 6h

this message brought to you by the 30 minutes I spent having flashbacks of many segments of my childhood and also being outed and also the fallout from being outed

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 6h

love how remembering even one (1) thing my mother said to me is enough to trigger a full panic attack! this is just Great I totally have great experiences with family I am just Soooooooo happy /s

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Reposted by (dr.) asha

Lady Emily ☄️ @ladyemily.nebula.tv · 7h

Traditional Kurain ramen <33

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 8h

that makes it sound much better than it is. unfortunately I just had a panic attack and traumatic flashbacks and breakdown so. I'm not doing too well unfortunately

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 8h

I love feeling like I belong in a sewer, said no one ever except my brain apparently

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 9h

wow love it when my brain decides to replay this moment on repeat to convince me that everyone hates me and I can never go back to this event ever again and probably no one will ever like me again either and I deserve to be socially ostracized this is Perfectly Healthy I'm sure

(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 1d

I am going to go die in a hole I asked someone if an empty seat was available and it was taken

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 11h

that would be thanks to @chithemonkey.bsky.social (and I think with my current results I am able to provide an excellent testimonial probably? if that isn't too conceited)

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 11h

I did *kind of* stay plugged in to how this was going at MIT because I like to eavesdrop on the advocacy committee I was a part of during my PhD so like, I think this checks out but I was nervous that it would be suddenly and unexpectedly bad

(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 11h

well I might not be at MIT anymore but "polite no" is about as good as it could get so I'll take this and like I read the statement it's honestly quite good

Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com · 12h

Good news for transgender people at MIT.

Unlike some prestigious universities, MIT has defied the Trump administration and refused its attempt to pressure the university into banning transgender people from bathrooms.

The latest from reporter S. Baum.

Subscribe to support our journalism.

MIT Rejects Trump’s Bid to Institute Trans Bathroom, Athletics Ban

“A government that can reward colleges and universities for speech it favors today can punish them for speech it dislikes tomorrow.”

www.erininthemorning.com

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Reposted by (dr.) asha

Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com · 12h

Good news for transgender people at MIT.

Unlike some prestigious universities, MIT has defied the Trump administration and refused its attempt to pressure the university into banning transgender people from bathrooms.

The latest from reporter S. Baum.

Subscribe to support our journalism.

MIT Rejects Trump’s Bid to Institute Trans Bathroom, Athletics Ban

“A government that can reward colleges and universities for speech it favors today can punish them for speech it dislikes tomorrow.”

www.erininthemorning.com

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 12h

that's a lovely blouse though, really good color in general and specifically on you

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 14h

ok so like I get what you mean, but I don't know how to stop feeling guilty for feeling good, which is one of the issues that is still coming up every time

(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 14h

🫂
I understand how this feels, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. sending my best wishes and support

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

for me that wouldn't have worked because I was really terrified of being perceived by anyone in makeup that I didn't consider perfect enough because I was sure everyone would judge me horribly negatively for it (and misgender me too because I would just look like a man but that is brainworms)

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

I think I also feel bad about it because like, when I do feel pretty i think I am probably massively overinflating it because "I look really beautiful" seems too unrealistically good to be right when I am not actively feeling it. so idk it makes me feel bad about it later too

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

I self-assigned eurasian eagle owl but I've also been feeling a bit like the barred owl lately

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

I very much do want it so we can share it. I can assign you a species if you want

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

like, this past weekend vs last couple of days

last thursday to sunday I felt really pretty like to the point of probably feeling problematically narcissistic because like I thought I looked beautiful. but then last 3 days have felt hopeless and like everyone is so much prettier than I'll ever be

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

a little (very) frustrated with my inability to hold on to self image because when I see myself as pretty it's like unrealistically good like to the point of like absolutely over the top beautiful which I know is vanity and I should tone it down
but then when I can't it's as if it never happened

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Reposted by (dr.) asha

SparrowVA 🏳️‍⚧️ @sparrow-va.bsky.social · 1d

this is just canon dialogue, right? #otDevil

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

(can confirm this worked for me, though specifically to get over the severe perfectionism. I still am quite obsessive over my makeup but it got much better after... being given daily assignments because that is how my brain works I must Get A Good Grade In Girl which hopefully I am but anxiety)

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 15h

I just friend requested you (disembodied_dilemma is me)

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(dr.) asha @biochemandowls.bsky.social · 16h

(I don't have your discord info, is it ok to ask for it? you can say no, and I'm sorry if this is overstepping, I don't mean to I promise)

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