Brady Oltmans
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bradyoltmans.bsky.social
Brady Oltmans
@bradyoltmans.bsky.social
Sports journalist. Smooth brain.
linktr.ee/brady.oltmans
Haven’t logged in since last June. Did I miss anything?
February 3, 2026 at 11:56 PM
If you see my girlfriend please pass along your sympathies.

She’s been dating the world’s most annoying man since that Third Eye Blind Instacart commercial started airing.
June 23, 2025 at 8:10 PM
There’s a train leaving nightly called “When All Is Said And Done.”
November 16, 2024 at 6:56 AM
The Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight is a perfect allegory for the world right now bc it sucked
November 16, 2024 at 6:02 AM
They say you gotta fake it,
At least until you make it.
That ghost is just a kid in a sheet.
November 12, 2024 at 5:27 PM
My friend is getting married. He’s gonna be so stoked to see his wedding gift, a new kitchen knife set with “death to all betrayers” engraved on them.
November 11, 2024 at 12:55 AM
November 6, 2024 at 4:32 AM
Did this bald republican guy just say Roberto Clemente is in Pittsburgh to endorse Donald Trump??
November 5, 2024 at 1:15 AM
No one asked Matt Rhule about Dylan Raiola in the postgame. That media group is a joke.
November 3, 2024 at 1:16 AM
New Soccer Mommy record is very good.
November 2, 2024 at 12:52 AM
The new and final Japandroids album passes the “speeding down I-80 test”
October 22, 2024 at 10:51 PM
NEW: I covered the opening of CPKC Stadium, a landmark high in the long history of professional women’s soccer in the Paris of the Plains.

Up now on The Guardian.

www.theguardian.com/football/202...
March 19, 2024 at 2:04 PM
Now up on False Nine: Looking into meaning of CPKC Stadium, the first in the world built specifically and solely for a women’s sports team.
🔗: falsenine.substack.com/p/historic-o...
March 19, 2024 at 2:00 PM
New on False Nine: I wrote about how the lame duck USWNT staff is only one foot in on experimentation and youth.

🔗: falsenine.substack.com/p/interim-us...
February 28, 2024 at 3:07 PM
Writing for web and myself is an interesting change. First column coming to False Nine in the morning.
February 27, 2024 at 11:00 PM