Noah Phense
@brannockdevice.bsky.social
Mostly working on my standup routine. Some satire. Some tech stuff.
I have an ancestor who signed the US Declaration of Independence. But my parents were both immigrants to the US.
Pinned
Noah Phense
@brannockdevice.bsky.social
· Oct 30
You know someone you think might be on SNAP food stamps?
Get a store gift card, put it in an envelope and give it to them.
You don't need to say anything or bring it up again.
Get a store gift card, put it in an envelope and give it to them.
You don't need to say anything or bring it up again.
Why do people say they can't trust big media?
Don't watch if you don't trust.
Don't watch if you don't trust.
December 29, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Why do people say they can't trust big media?
Don't watch if you don't trust.
Don't watch if you don't trust.
Why do we need AI productivity gains?
December 29, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Why do we need AI productivity gains?
Reposted by Noah Phense
How did all these millions of files fit on Bondi's desk???
December 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
How did all these millions of files fit on Bondi's desk???
How did all these millions of files fit on Bondi's desk???
December 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
How did all these millions of files fit on Bondi's desk???
Reposted by Noah Phense
"At least the Republicans stab us in the front and not the back" is going to be a common thought when voters hit the polls in the midterms and I know I didn't get a political science degree from an Ivy League college, but that seems like a bad sentiment for your constituency to carry into elections.
November 10, 2025 at 11:43 PM
"At least the Republicans stab us in the front and not the back" is going to be a common thought when voters hit the polls in the midterms and I know I didn't get a political science degree from an Ivy League college, but that seems like a bad sentiment for your constituency to carry into elections.
I wouldn't want the job that any of these people in the United States government have.
December 23, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I wouldn't want the job that any of these people in the United States government have.
Can a regular American self-deport for $3,000.
I could use some extra.
I could use some extra.
December 22, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Can a regular American self-deport for $3,000.
I could use some extra.
I could use some extra.
Reposted by Noah Phense
Reposted by Noah Phense
$12B for farmers!??
What about eaters?
What about eaters?
December 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM
$12B for farmers!??
What about eaters?
What about eaters?
Release trumps tax forms
December 9, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Release trumps tax forms
$12B for farmers!??
What about eaters?
What about eaters?
December 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM
$12B for farmers!??
What about eaters?
What about eaters?
She's kind of a c***
November 26, 2025 at 5:05 PM
She's kind of a c***
Are there orange worm holes?
November 18, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Are there orange worm holes?
Reposted by Noah Phense
"you really deserved it."
disgrace.
disgrace.
October 11, 2025 at 7:07 AM
"you really deserved it."
disgrace.
disgrace.
Reposted by Noah Phense
It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.
November 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.
What about trump's emails?
November 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
What about trump's emails?
Reposted by Noah Phense
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
November 14, 2025 at 6:11 AM
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
Mortgage fraud vs pedophelia
November 14, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Mortgage fraud vs pedophelia
Reposted by Noah Phense
Me too lock the fascists up 🙏⚖️
November 14, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Me too lock the fascists up 🙏⚖️
Reposted by Noah Phense
‼️ Reuters publishes footage of the Russia's massive attack on Kyiv and its consequences.
November 14, 2025 at 9:33 AM
‼️ Reuters publishes footage of the Russia's massive attack on Kyiv and its consequences.
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
November 14, 2025 at 6:11 AM
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
Why did i pay $5.28 for gasoline tonight
November 14, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Why did i pay $5.28 for gasoline tonight
I hate this timeline
November 14, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I hate this timeline
Rich people like to donate to the college they went to for big buildings and stuff.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
November 14, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Rich people like to donate to the college they went to for big buildings and stuff.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.