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breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes
@breakingrhymes.bsky.social
330 followers 400 following 330 posts
Breaking news, one rhyme at a time. I rhyme the news so you don’t have to. “One of Bluesky’s must-follow accounts.” — [Insert celebrity name]* *Open to endorsements
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breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 25
On Isak’s Toon exit

He helped win the Carabao prize,
Then peaced out with barely goodbyes.
No legacy baked,
Just a contract he flaked -
Now he’s chasing a raise, not the highs

💼 🛫😢

#nufc #alexanderisak #isak
Alexander Isak wants to leave Newcastle, asked not to go on pre-season tour
Liverpool have previously communicated their interest in Isak and over doing a deal in the region of £120million.
www.nytimes.com
2
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 22
On Jamie Dimon’s Crypto Pivot

Jamie once called Bitcoin a scam,
Now he’s stacking coins like a champ.
From doubter to deal,
He’s spinning the wheel,
Wall Street just joined the new jam

💥📉 🤡

#CryptoBro #JamieDimon #Bitcoin #Crypto
JPMorgan considers offering loans backed by clients' cryptocurrency holdings, FT reports
JPMorgan Chase is exploring plans to offer loans backed by clients' cryptocurrency holdings, including bitcoin and ethereum, as early as next year, the Financial Times reported on Tuesday, citing people familiar with the matter.
www.reuters.com
3
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 9
On Macron at Windsor

Fromage on his breath, full of flair,
Macron minced through the monarchy’s lair.
He kissed every ring,
But one awkward thing —
He asked if the Queen eats Camembert

🧀👑🇫🇷

#BreakingNews #Macron #EmmanuelMacron #RoyalFamily #KingCharlesIII #UK
King Charles and Macron toast 'ever closer' UK-France ties at state banquet
Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte are in the UK for a three-day trip.
www.bbc.com
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 8
On Jennifer’s hypno hunk

Aniston’s flying was tense,
Till Curtis un-locked her suspense -
Now Mallorca’s the scene
Where she’s living the dream,
In a trance or just losing her sense?

😵‍💫💘

#hypnosis #celebritycrush #BreakingNews
Jennifer Aniston new romance rumors as she vacations with handsome man
The Friends actress, 56, who has endured high-profile splits from husbands Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux, jetted into Mallorca with him for the Fourth of July weekend.
www.dailymail.co.uk
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 7
On Amanda Holden’s cheeky tribute

Amanda let rip on the green,
A breeze up her skirt set the scene.
Not just for the glam -
That backdraft went wham -
Wimbledon’s freshest routine

🎾💨😄

#AmandaHolden #Wimbledon
Amanda Holden recreates iconic raunchy tennis moment for campaign
The radio presenter, 54, took to Instagram on Sunday to show off her assets for a Revive Collagen campaign.
www.dailymail.co.uk
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 7
On microplastic-laced lobster

They serve you the sea in fine shells,
But what’s in the bite? Plastic spells.
With each juicy claw,
You’re chewing Earth’s flaw -
A feast with pollution that sells.

🦞🧪💔

#OceanCrisis #PlasticProblem #LobsterLuxury
On Mexico’s Caribbean Coast, There’s Lobster for the Tourists and Microplastics for Everyone Else
The fishermen of Puerto Morelos complain of pirates who fish off-season with total impunity, while their small catches are contaminated by the abundant microplastics in the sea.
www.wired.com
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jul 2
On ‘Jack the Flipper’

A dolphin named Jack’s off his rocker,
Flips sharks like he’s tossing a locker.
With a headbutt so rude,
He reboots your whole mood
SeaWorld said “nah,” he’s a shocker.

#BreakingNews #JacktheFlipper #dolphin #animals

www.thesun.co.uk/news/3565157...
Killer dolphin on loose off UK coast after slaying rival and SHARK
A KILLER dolphin is on the loose after being caught on video slaying one of its own kind — and then a shark. The bottlenose dolphin, dubbed Jack the Flipper, targeted a smooth-hound shark last week…
www.thesun.co.uk
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jun 28
Two Aussies collide with a thump,
No pads, just pure chest-to-chest bump.
“Run it straight!” is the call
Till one man starts to fall,
It’s rugby meets “Darwin Awards” in a slump.

🏉💥🦘🤕

#BreakingNews #RunItChampionship #RunItStraight #Australia

www.bbc.com/news/article...
Run It Straight: The push to turn a backyard tackle game into a global sport
As hype over the game grows, so do concerns about the potential for brain injuries.
www.bbc.com
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
After two decades apart,
Eccleston and Piper restart.
No TARDIS in sight,
But still a delight -
Just hit play, and you’re back at the start!

🎙️🕰️🚀

#DoctorWho #ChristopherEccleston #BillyPiper #TimeLord #RoseTyler #Tardis #Darlek
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
Oasis (the drink!) took its flight,
No Gallagher-style, tabloid fight.
No chairs were thrown,
No egos were blown,
Just sales charts that look pretty bright…

🥤🎸💼

#Oasis #LiamGallagher #OASISEnergyDrink
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
In Deutschland, where Ordnung is key,
The Wirtschaft’s now lacking in glee.
With high Energie-Kosten,
And jobs that are losten,
Voters yearn for a fresh Strategie.

🛢️⚙️📉

#BreakingNews #Germany #Deutschland #GermanEconomy #EU #Europe #economy #economics
reuters.com Reuters @reuters.com · Feb 17
Europe's largest economy contracted for a second consecutive year in 2024, its worst performance in two decades. Ahead of a general election on Sunday, a national debate is raging about how to revive Germany's economic fortunes reut.rs/4b2ljtU
German voters demand change as Europe's biggest economy stalls
Ahead of a general election on Sunday, a national debate is raging about how to revive Germany's economic fortunes.
reut.rs
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
Mar-a-Lago Airport looks grand,
Gold trim but a runway of sand.
The lights flicker out,
The baggage, in doubt,
The only destination: Magaland.

— you’re welcome 😉 ✈️🛫🛩️
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
Elon said, “Gov is too fat!”
So he slashed it - imagine that.
Now services crash,
But hey, check the stash -
His contracts are growing real fast…

#Doge #ElonMusk
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 17
Jamie scoffs, “Get back to your grind!
This WFH nonsense? Declined.”
But while we commute,
He’s chasing his loot,
Doing WFJ - Work From Jet, reclined.

✈️💼🍷

#JamieDimon #WFH #HybridWork #JPM #JPMorgan
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Feb 6
The Times, Wed 5 Feb - “Fragile Newcastle fear historic collapse…”

The Times, Thu 6 Feb - “Arsenal humbled as frenzied St. James’ stirs local heroes to Wembley”

Headlines, man. What a difference a day makes!

#NUFC
2
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
Eg:

With matutolypea at dawn,
Trump rages till coffee is gone.
He shouts “DEEP STATE!”
While the charges inflate,
And his lawyers keep moving on.

- you’re welcome.
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
Eg:

Old Donald, so loud and ram-stam,
Spews nonsense as fast as he can.
He rants and he raves,
For loyalty craves,
Yet flips on his friends like a scam.

- you’re welcome.
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
Abramovich splashed cash with glee,
Bought Chelski, but dodged HMRC.
Through islands offshore,
He funneled much more,
Now Britain wants back a cool bil’ or three.

#Tax #Abramovich #HMRC #UK #politics #TaxDodging #Billionaire #PremierLeague #FootballFinance
Roman Abramovich could owe UK £1bn in unpaid tax
Scheme to avoid tax on offshore billions may have been botched because money was managed from the UK, BBC learns.
www.bbc.com
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
In Brussels, where rules are the creed,
They lecture on ethics with speed.
But look past the chatter,
What’s that? Russian lumber?
Turns out the EU’s knee-deep in greed.

#EU #Russia #Brussels #BreakingNews #Belgium #Europe #EuropeanUnion
Almost €15 million worth of illegal Russian timber in Belgium
About half a million of cubic metres of Russian timber have been imported into the EU since 2022 despite bans.
www.brusselstimes.com
2
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
Young Natalie scored quite a feat,
Part of the White House War Room elite!
But she can’t spell her title,
Perhaps her brainpower’s idle,
But hey, she looks great in a tweet…

- you’re welcome.
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
A chatbot was trained in Shanghai,
Like ChatGPT - but a spy.
It talks just like me,
For a much smaller fee,
But swears it’s “original.” (Nice try.)

#OpenAI #DeepSeek #ChatGPT #AI #artificialintelligence #breakingnews #tech #China
OpenAI reportedly claims it has evidence China’s DeepSeek ‘used its model’ to train AI chatbot – business live
White House advisor David Sacks says there is ‘substantial evidence’ of DeepSeek using OpenAI technology
www.theguardian.com
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 29
There once was a MAGA parade,
With Botox and implants displayed.
Their outfits were tragic,
Their tans looked like magic,
As they yelled “Ship ‘em back!” - but could barely spell “trade.”

- you’re welcome.
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 20
A CEO, wealthy and grand,
Said, “Work harder, you’ll understand.”
But his privileged life,
Free from everyday strife,
Shows he’s clueless about the lay of the land.

#BreakingNews #WFH #WorkFromHome #RemoteWork #FutureOfWork #Work
Working from home is 'not proper work', says ex-Asda boss
Lord Rose says it harms productivity but expert says hybrid work can be as good as full-time in the office.
www.bbc.com
1
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 20
Vivek is leaving his post,
Slashing costs is what he’ll boast.
Here’s another great hack:
Give Elon the sack -
That’s the saving we need the most.

— you’re welcome ;)
breakingrhymes.bsky.social
Breaking Rhymes @breakingrhymes.bsky.social · Jan 20
A memecoin for MAGA’s big star,
It’s worth less than Trump’s failed memoir.
They called it “investment,”
But let’s be consistent -
Even Bitcoin would call this bizarre.

— you are welcome. 🙏