Calm
@calm.com
Calm your mind. Change your life. 💙 Stress less, sleep more, feel better. empli.fi/calm
“I asked chatGPT —“
Yea, well, I asked a little clam living it’s best life in a tropical coral reef what the meaning of life was - and apparently it’s that - so now I’m a clam too and we’re all vibes bro.
Yea, well, I asked a little clam living it’s best life in a tropical coral reef what the meaning of life was - and apparently it’s that - so now I’m a clam too and we’re all vibes bro.
May 9, 2025 at 10:22 PM
“I asked chatGPT —“
Yea, well, I asked a little clam living it’s best life in a tropical coral reef what the meaning of life was - and apparently it’s that - so now I’m a clam too and we’re all vibes bro.
Yea, well, I asked a little clam living it’s best life in a tropical coral reef what the meaning of life was - and apparently it’s that - so now I’m a clam too and we’re all vibes bro.
Never forget that caterpillars turn into complete goo before becoming butterflies.
Oh, this isn’t a metaphor for transformation…being a cocooned pile of goo just sounds kinda nice right now.
Oh, this isn’t a metaphor for transformation…being a cocooned pile of goo just sounds kinda nice right now.
May 8, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Never forget that caterpillars turn into complete goo before becoming butterflies.
Oh, this isn’t a metaphor for transformation…being a cocooned pile of goo just sounds kinda nice right now.
Oh, this isn’t a metaphor for transformation…being a cocooned pile of goo just sounds kinda nice right now.
Reposted by Calm
From Broadway to Rage Rooms, Ilana Glazre is partnering with @calm.com to bring working moms the support they need—IRL! 💪 Check out what the comedian told us about her latest partnership here: www.sheknows.com/parenting/ar...
Ilana Glazer Isn't Finding Broadway Very 'Working Mom-Friendly' but She's Juggling It All
The comedian is a Broadway star by night and a mom of a 3-year-old by day.
www.sheknows.com
April 29, 2025 at 3:02 PM
From Broadway to Rage Rooms, Ilana Glazre is partnering with @calm.com to bring working moms the support they need—IRL! 💪 Check out what the comedian told us about her latest partnership here: www.sheknows.com/parenting/ar...
Please don't forget to drink water, close your laptop, and wander off into a forest to start a new life living in a hollow tree and making acorn soup for your woodland friends.
April 28, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Please don't forget to drink water, close your laptop, and wander off into a forest to start a new life living in a hollow tree and making acorn soup for your woodland friends.
If you’re fighting for a moment of peace in this chaotic news cycle, a moment of stillness in your racing mind, and a moment of quiet in your overstimulating day…I just want you to know that see you. 🫶
April 8, 2025 at 1:14 PM
If you’re fighting for a moment of peace in this chaotic news cycle, a moment of stillness in your racing mind, and a moment of quiet in your overstimulating day…I just want you to know that see you. 🫶
I wake, stretch my arms up, and release a guttural sigh, so loud, that it silences the birds outside. Mountains tremble. A deep sea leviathan wakes. The Hubble telescope turns around. In the distance, sirens.
April 7, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I wake, stretch my arms up, and release a guttural sigh, so loud, that it silences the birds outside. Mountains tremble. A deep sea leviathan wakes. The Hubble telescope turns around. In the distance, sirens.
You’re randomly added to a group chat and, much like your public Venmo feed, you KIND of know these people, but not really. What’s your first text?
March 26, 2025 at 2:05 AM
You’re randomly added to a group chat and, much like your public Venmo feed, you KIND of know these people, but not really. What’s your first text?
I don’t want to hustle, or grind, or crush it. I want to lie down. And no, I won’t be “getting this bread” unless it’s a REAL croissant in my face.
Thank you for respecting my wishes.
Thank you for respecting my wishes.
March 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I don’t want to hustle, or grind, or crush it. I want to lie down. And no, I won’t be “getting this bread” unless it’s a REAL croissant in my face.
Thank you for respecting my wishes.
Thank you for respecting my wishes.
*Opens internet*
Nope
*Goes outside. Walks down the road. Takes a new name. Moves to small beachside community to weave baskets by the sea and become part of local lore.*
Nope
*Goes outside. Walks down the road. Takes a new name. Moves to small beachside community to weave baskets by the sea and become part of local lore.*
March 19, 2025 at 10:39 PM
*Opens internet*
Nope
*Goes outside. Walks down the road. Takes a new name. Moves to small beachside community to weave baskets by the sea and become part of local lore.*
Nope
*Goes outside. Walks down the road. Takes a new name. Moves to small beachside community to weave baskets by the sea and become part of local lore.*
Yes, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel…but I feel like we all wouldn’t mind if the tunnel was a bit shorter. Like, we get it, it’s dark.
March 7, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Yes, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel…but I feel like we all wouldn’t mind if the tunnel was a bit shorter. Like, we get it, it’s dark.
It’s okay to not be calm.
Just wanted to say that in case you needed permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling about… (gestures at everything).
Just wanted to say that in case you needed permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling about… (gestures at everything).
February 28, 2025 at 10:59 PM
It’s okay to not be calm.
Just wanted to say that in case you needed permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling about… (gestures at everything).
Just wanted to say that in case you needed permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling about… (gestures at everything).
Summarize your job in 5 points? Pass. Gonna summarize life.
1. Imagined I was a jellyfish floating with zero problems.
2. Felt the sun on my face.
3. Unclenched my jaw 153 times.
4. Exhaled a silent scream.
5. Was a silly goose.
1. Imagined I was a jellyfish floating with zero problems.
2. Felt the sun on my face.
3. Unclenched my jaw 153 times.
4. Exhaled a silent scream.
5. Was a silly goose.
February 25, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Summarize your job in 5 points? Pass. Gonna summarize life.
1. Imagined I was a jellyfish floating with zero problems.
2. Felt the sun on my face.
3. Unclenched my jaw 153 times.
4. Exhaled a silent scream.
5. Was a silly goose.
1. Imagined I was a jellyfish floating with zero problems.
2. Felt the sun on my face.
3. Unclenched my jaw 153 times.
4. Exhaled a silent scream.
5. Was a silly goose.
Met my younger self for coffee. Told them that all that they’ve endured will help them develop a sense of empathy and humor that will help other people feel less alone in the world someday.
They nodded and asked if we still had a sick burned CD collection and I said yea LOL it’s still in the car.
They nodded and asked if we still had a sick burned CD collection and I said yea LOL it’s still in the car.
February 21, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Met my younger self for coffee. Told them that all that they’ve endured will help them develop a sense of empathy and humor that will help other people feel less alone in the world someday.
They nodded and asked if we still had a sick burned CD collection and I said yea LOL it’s still in the car.
They nodded and asked if we still had a sick burned CD collection and I said yea LOL it’s still in the car.
The early bird gets the worm. The night owl gets peace and quiet. The afternoon squirrel just vibes. The late-morning pigeon does brunch. The 4pm lizard gets tacos on Tuesdays. You do you.
February 18, 2025 at 11:59 PM
The early bird gets the worm. The night owl gets peace and quiet. The afternoon squirrel just vibes. The late-morning pigeon does brunch. The 4pm lizard gets tacos on Tuesdays. You do you.
Maybe you're not “bad at resting”... maybe society has conditioned everyone to believe that exhaustion is a personality trait. We're gonna unlearn it. Dare to nap. Sleep out of spite. Rest in rebellion.
February 12, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Maybe you're not “bad at resting”... maybe society has conditioned everyone to believe that exhaustion is a personality trait. We're gonna unlearn it. Dare to nap. Sleep out of spite. Rest in rebellion.
Rest is not “doing nothing.” Rest is literally how your body repairs itself. You wouldn’t yell at your phone for needing to be plugged in. You are allowed to recharge your existence.
February 6, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Rest is not “doing nothing.” Rest is literally how your body repairs itself. You wouldn’t yell at your phone for needing to be plugged in. You are allowed to recharge your existence.