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CartoonChurch.com

@cartoonchurch.bsky.social

170 followers 2 following 15 posts

Cartoons by Church Times cartoonist @davewalker.bsky.social. Licences available to use the cartoons in your church magazine and elsewhere. https://cartoonchurch.com/

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Jul 4

The Church Fete

Taken from the book How to Avoid the Peace. Find more cartoons from the book here: https://cartoonchurch.com/content/cc/category/how-to-avoid-the-peace/

'Bottle tombola', and 'bottle tombola prize-winner (always the shampoo, never the whisky'
Stall selling books, in front of bags of 'books deemed unsuitable'
Tables: 'plants' and 'slightly dubious plants'
Woman singing 'hymn karaoke'
Clothing stall: 'person purchasing clothing donated by spouse', nearby 'person redonating clothing purchased by spouse'
'Cake being bought out of compassion'
Empty chairs: 'brass band (running late)'
'Guess the number of lost gloves'
'Church ferret stunt team'

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Jul 2

The Open Church: How to Spend the Time When You're on Duty

Here’s some ideas as to how you could reuse these cartoons yourself:
https://cartoonchurch.com/ways-to-use-the-cartoons/

'Sleuth' - person holding a magnifying glass
'Conserve' - person window-cleaning
'Catch up' - person ironing
'Clean' - person up a ladder, cleaning
'Pray' - person praying
'Reorder' - person moving seats
'Create' - person at an easel
'Get fit' - person doing a handstand
'Hibernate' - sleeping person
'Hide' - person hidden
'Role play' - person roleplaying
'Explore' - walking up some stairs
'Practise' - person at organ
'Take a book to read, but end up looking at your phone' - person on phone

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Jun 30

Any Other Business

Would this cartoon work in your parish magazine? All details here: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Three rows with six panels each, from left to right:

Please leave kitchen tidy
Nigel said he's leaving
Need lots more helpers
Where is my platter?
Some hymns are unknown
That isn't your cupboard

Kids made some noise
When is the fete
Can we ban skateboards?
I hate the coffee
Churchyard is looking unkempt
No progress on WIFI

Quote needed for guttering
Crockery has gone missing
Mice live in vestry
Youths broke toddler toys
Whose is that umbrella
Has anyone seen Elsie?

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Jun 28

The Welcome Pack

If you like this cartoon you’ll find plenty more here: https://cartoonchurch.com/thumbnail-
view/

'Newcomers are given a welcome pack' - man holding a large stack of paper
'This contains the rules and regulations' - "Thou shalt not: err, sin, lapse, shout, whoop, giggle, daydream, chatter, shirk, stray, sleep, slump."
'The standing order form'
'The volunteering form' - "Jobs you'd like to do (please tick all) PCC, Sunday School, Intercessions, Youth Club, Treasurer, Hard labour, Heavy toil"
'The small print' - woman reading small print
'And the combination code for the toilets - "3339"

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Jun 12

The Toddler Group

There’s more colouring pages on the cartoonchurch.com site: https://cartoonchurch.com/content/cc/category/colouring-pages/

The cartoon depicts a toddler group taking place in a church hall. There are parents and carers in chairs around the edge of the room, engaged in conversation, some paying more attention to the toddlers than others. The floor is completely covered with toys: puzzle pieces, a doll's house, pens, pencils, dolls, cars, trucks, trains, boats, musical instruments, stuffed animals, and all kinds of block stacking paraphernalia. The toddlers play on the floor amongst the chaos.

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · May 4

Hand Signals

Click here to find out more about licences to reuse this cartoon: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

People in a line with a hand raised
1: 'Lost in worship', person with their eyes closed
2: 'Bored and stretching', person mid-yawn
3: 'Waving to a friend', person smiling
4: 'Objecting to the sermon', person looking disgruntled
5: 'Wishing to be excused', person looking in discomfort
6: 'Doing the actions to the children's song', person singing
7: 'Altering a sidesperson', person looking to make eye contact with sidesperson
8: 'Trying to get a signal', person holding a phone in the air

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · May 3

Fundraising: Event Idea Generator

Please feel *no* obligation to give this cartoon credit for any of these, unless of course they work.

Click here to find out more about licences to reuse this cartoon: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

The: vicar/youth group/congregation/choir/flower arrangers

Is/Are: running/abseiling/living in a tent/selling cakes/crawling

For: 100 miles/24 hours/a month/as long as it takes/ever
Whilst: wearing fancy dress/singing all of the hymns/telling jokes/juggling/rattling a tin

Please: donate/sponsor/purchase a raffle ticket/buy tea and a cake/stay away

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 29

Where Are My Keys?

Click here to find out more about licences to reuse this cartoon: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

From left to right: In the vicarage door; in the font; in the car; on the photocopier; in the pulpit; in the bin; in the pub; under a pew; in the church that held deanery synod; on the hook; on the sofa of the baptism family; in the safe; in the dog's basket; up the tower; in the children's musical instruments box; were there ever really any keys?; in yesterday's cassock; wherever you last saw them.

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 28

Terrible Discoveries

Interested in a licence to use this cartoon yourself? Click here to find out more: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Panel 1, 'The beams are rotten and could collapse at any moment': Four people looking at a decaying beam
Panel 2, 'Our most precious artefacts have been stolen': A woman speaking to three people, in the speech bubble there are goblets, plates, candles, and a sign reading "Ladies' Guild"
Panel 3, 'The organist and the churchwarden have gone missing simultaneously': An organ and pews, unattended
Panel 4, 'Someone has eaten all of the biscuits': Three shocked people looking at an empty biscuit tin

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 19

The Easter Service

See more cartoons here: https://cartoonchurch.com

Cartoon of a church, partially interior, partially exterior.

'Clergy taking a post-holy week nap'
'Flower arrangers awaking from hibernation'
'People who made the sunrise service feeling pleased with themselves'
'Easter bonnet'
'Queue to retrieve items forbidden during lent from the vestry safe'
'Easter bunny'
'The only child to turn up doing quite well at the Easter egg hunt'
'Occasional churchgoers looking for the way in'
'Neighbours woken by joyful noises'

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 13

Children's Craft Items: What Happens to Them

Interested in using this cartoon? Click here to find out more: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Pie chart:
The biggest piece: 'Thrown away (church bin)

Mostly equally sized pieces: 'Thrown away (home bin)'
'Thrown away (relatives' bin)'
'Deposited on top of a cupboard'
'Left on public transport'
'Disintegrated on way home'
'Distributed to the elderly'
'Displayed on relatives' walls'

Somewhat smaller piece: 'Stuck to the fridge before being "stolen" by "art thieves"'

Much, much smaller piece: 'Sold at auction and displayed in a gallery'

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 11

Outdoor Activities

How have you been enjoying the weather?

Interested in a licence to use this cartoon yourself? Click here to find out more: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Outdoor Activities

Panel 1, 'The Parish Picnic*'; a group of people sitting on picnic blankets, eating together.

Panel 2, 'The Benefice Barbeque*'; a group of people gathered around a barbeque, grilling food.

Panel 3, 'The Parish Pilgrimage*'; a group of people following three members of the clergy.

Panel 4, 'The Benefice Bike Ride*'; two people riding bicycles.

*to be held in the church hall owing to a certain amount of uncertainty over the weather

(all activities are occurring indoors)

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 9

Church Membership: The Benefits

To see this cartoon in full, click here: https://cartoonchurch.com/content/cc/church-membership/

Church Membership: The Benefits
Panel 1, captioned "Use of the secret members-only lounge": a woman being served a drink by a man.

Panel 2, captioned "Previews of sermons the night before release": a small crowd gathered by a computer screen.

Panel 3, captioned "A 'get out of a rota free' card": a woman displaying a card to two flower-arrangers.

Panel 4, captioned "Priority lane at after-service coffee": a man walking past a long queue of people, getting to the coffee before them.

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CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 6

The Church Weekend Away

Interested in a licence to use this cartoon yourself? Click here to find out more: https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Cartoon showing different possibilities for a church weekend away depending on budgets; depicted are location, transport, speaker, and food.

Budget: own church; walk; the vicar; bring your own packed lunch.

Standard: retreat house; coach; the ex-vicar; canteen meal.

Standard plus: retreat house with view; coach with a loo; minor Christian celebrity; plenteous buffet.

Luxury: hotel in major world city; something involving a chauffeur; international church leader; up-and-coming chef.

CartoonChurch.com @cartoonchurch.bsky.social · Apr 1

Weekdays: What to do With Your Church Building

Interested in using this cartoon yourself? https://cartoonchurch.com/how-you-can-use-the-cartoons/

Panel 1: 'Lock it', a church guarded by barbed wire and tall gates.
Panel 2: 'Leave a key somewhere', a convoluted map explaining directions to a church key
Panel 3: 'Leave it open, but monitored', the inside of a church with a figure poorly hidden by a noticeboard
Panel 4: 'Leave it entirely unattended', hymn books being stolen by two masked figures; a chart depicting the value of lead going down, and the value of hymn books going up

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