Chris Hallbeck
@chrishallbeck.bsky.social
Cartoonist. Animator.
https://hallbeck.com/links/
https://hallbeck.com/links/
What’s your score on the apple test?
November 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
What’s your score on the apple test?
Video games from my childhood have me over prepared for the amount of barrels full of toxic waste I would encounter in my adult life.
November 24, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Video games from my childhood have me over prepared for the amount of barrels full of toxic waste I would encounter in my adult life.
Watching the movie Aliens and I'm confused. Is the Queen an elected official or is it more of a family bloodline thing?
November 23, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Watching the movie Aliens and I'm confused. Is the Queen an elected official or is it more of a family bloodline thing?
[frog at an open mic night]
"So I said what's wrong? Do you have me in your throat?"
*crickets*
*frog goes nuts trying to eat the crickets*
"So I said what's wrong? Do you have me in your throat?"
*crickets*
*frog goes nuts trying to eat the crickets*
November 19, 2025 at 10:41 PM
[frog at an open mic night]
"So I said what's wrong? Do you have me in your throat?"
*crickets*
*frog goes nuts trying to eat the crickets*
"So I said what's wrong? Do you have me in your throat?"
*crickets*
*frog goes nuts trying to eat the crickets*
I'm trying to eat better but the bacteria in my guts love leftover Halloween candy.
November 19, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I'm trying to eat better but the bacteria in my guts love leftover Halloween candy.
"Pics or it didn't happen!" says the wizard as the dent in the car door repairs itself before any photographic evidence was taken.
November 18, 2025 at 2:34 AM
"Pics or it didn't happen!" says the wizard as the dent in the car door repairs itself before any photographic evidence was taken.
When I go to the grocery store to just buy one item I make sure I don't get a cart or basket so that when I get to the checkout I look like a complete idiot struggling to not drop the twelve other things I picked out.
November 17, 2025 at 7:48 PM
When I go to the grocery store to just buy one item I make sure I don't get a cart or basket so that when I get to the checkout I look like a complete idiot struggling to not drop the twelve other things I picked out.
Me as a child: Climbs trees, somersaults off the couch, rides my bike over makeshift ramps.
Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing.
Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing.
November 16, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Me as a child: Climbs trees, somersaults off the couch, rides my bike over makeshift ramps.
Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing.
Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing.
Look, if you really want to ruin some of my woodworking tools, you should get on my level.
November 15, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Look, if you really want to ruin some of my woodworking tools, you should get on my level.
The meaning of bewildered is confusing.
November 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The meaning of bewildered is confusing.
Some days you just gotta wait for new emails to come in and push the stressful email off screen.
November 14, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Some days you just gotta wait for new emails to come in and push the stressful email off screen.
Let sleeping dogs lie. We'll find out the truth after they wake up.
November 14, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Let sleeping dogs lie. We'll find out the truth after they wake up.
Me: Listen. You're important to me. I'm so grateful that you're here.
Olive Garden waiter: (Stops grating the cheese and walks away without saying a word.)
Olive Garden waiter: (Stops grating the cheese and walks away without saying a word.)
November 13, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Me: Listen. You're important to me. I'm so grateful that you're here.
Olive Garden waiter: (Stops grating the cheese and walks away without saying a word.)
Olive Garden waiter: (Stops grating the cheese and walks away without saying a word.)
A pirate learning to use a computer and being frustrated that they keep losing their work whenever they click on an "X" to get the treasure.
November 13, 2025 at 2:31 AM
A pirate learning to use a computer and being frustrated that they keep losing their work whenever they click on an "X" to get the treasure.
When I was a kid and an adult would say that something would "stunt your growth" I thought they meant it in a cool way like a motorcycle jumping over cars.
November 12, 2025 at 8:34 PM
When I was a kid and an adult would say that something would "stunt your growth" I thought they meant it in a cool way like a motorcycle jumping over cars.
Oscar the grouch frantically spreading fresh garbage around his house 30 minutes before relatives arrive for a dinner party.
November 12, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Oscar the grouch frantically spreading fresh garbage around his house 30 minutes before relatives arrive for a dinner party.
I tried to do some pen spins on my left hand but kept dropping it. I switched to my right hand as my wife walked in the room and dropped it again! That's some real second hand embarrassment.
November 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM
I tried to do some pen spins on my left hand but kept dropping it. I switched to my right hand as my wife walked in the room and dropped it again! That's some real second hand embarrassment.
My wife made me breakfast in bed! It was delicious but the cleanup is a hassle. I wish she would go back to making breakfast in the kitchen.
November 11, 2025 at 4:10 AM
My wife made me breakfast in bed! It was delicious but the cleanup is a hassle. I wish she would go back to making breakfast in the kitchen.
Got fired for yelling "Freeze, dirtbag!" every time I put a new bag of potting soil on the shelf at Home Depot.
November 10, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Got fired for yelling "Freeze, dirtbag!" every time I put a new bag of potting soil on the shelf at Home Depot.
I heard someone on a podcast talk about "Getting DRESSED for work." and how they "Walked over to the DRESSER." and I swear I never made the connection before. "Dresser" was always just a unique word that was attached to that object and I never questioned it.
November 9, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I heard someone on a podcast talk about "Getting DRESSED for work." and how they "Walked over to the DRESSER." and I swear I never made the connection before. "Dresser" was always just a unique word that was attached to that object and I never questioned it.
I'm starting a new service that connects people that purchased a large appliance with children that have no box fort.
November 9, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I'm starting a new service that connects people that purchased a large appliance with children that have no box fort.
ME: [extremely burnt out] I need to take the day off to relax.
ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive.
ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive.
November 8, 2025 at 10:08 PM
ME: [extremely burnt out] I need to take the day off to relax.
ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive.
ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive.
My wife thinks my "I'm a single dad!" shirt is inappropriate but I am factually not two dads.
November 8, 2025 at 6:14 PM
My wife thinks my "I'm a single dad!" shirt is inappropriate but I am factually not two dads.
My job involves writing lots and lots of jokes and then to convince myself none of them are funny enough when it's time to draw one.
November 8, 2025 at 3:24 PM
My job involves writing lots and lots of jokes and then to convince myself none of them are funny enough when it's time to draw one.
Gotta plant the cars the previous fall if you want this year to have a bumper crop.
October 7, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Gotta plant the cars the previous fall if you want this year to have a bumper crop.