Pinned
Chris
@chrislockefun.bsky.social
· Jul 12
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have Johnny Hell, Bob Crap, And Steve Shit
Don't forget to be weird and stupid and annoying and fart everywhere and ruin our friendship
November 25, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Don't forget to be weird and stupid and annoying and fart everywhere and ruin our friendship
I am now going by The Artist Formerly Known As Prunce
November 25, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I am now going by The Artist Formerly Known As Prunce
An ogre is just a guy you don't like
November 25, 2025 at 1:06 PM
An ogre is just a guy you don't like
Plart Blart: Mlart Clart
November 25, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Plart Blart: Mlart Clart
Say what you want about Mississauga but man they’ve got some houses eh
November 24, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Say what you want about Mississauga but man they’ve got some houses eh
Not gonna post quasi-political japes online anymore cause many people want to be tied to a chair and have their balls whipped like James Bond and to each their own. Yes, master etc.
November 24, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Not gonna post quasi-political japes online anymore cause many people want to be tied to a chair and have their balls whipped like James Bond and to each their own. Yes, master etc.
Just found out the big strong real man I admire on TV is actually an actor who just says lines that a bunch of wimpy writers write!
November 24, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Just found out the big strong real man I admire on TV is actually an actor who just says lines that a bunch of wimpy writers write!
Here’s a quirky thing about me: I don’t want the U.S. to invade Canada. I don’t want Applebee’s in Algonquin Park
November 23, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Here’s a quirky thing about me: I don’t want the U.S. to invade Canada. I don’t want Applebee’s in Algonquin Park
Should I sincerely grow a long beard and become a crazy naked man like this?
November 22, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Should I sincerely grow a long beard and become a crazy naked man like this?
God damn Bluesky feels like I'm telling jokes to my parents and their friends in the living room and everyone's in their socks waiting politely to get another piece of cheese off the charcuterie board
November 21, 2025 at 6:14 PM
God damn Bluesky feels like I'm telling jokes to my parents and their friends in the living room and everyone's in their socks waiting politely to get another piece of cheese off the charcuterie board
LIFE HACK: Save your appetite for a big feast
November 21, 2025 at 4:09 PM
LIFE HACK: Save your appetite for a big feast
Thank you so much to everyone who came out to me being trapped in a garbage can
November 20, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Thank you so much to everyone who came out to me being trapped in a garbage can
Help a demon is killing me! Oh forget it - what do you care
November 20, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Help a demon is killing me! Oh forget it - what do you care
I like smiling sipping coffee sitting in a chair and being nice. Oh and wearing a comfy sweatshirt and feeling happy and watching my grandkids play on my huge property. My sons aren’t that nice but they make a lot of money
November 19, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I like smiling sipping coffee sitting in a chair and being nice. Oh and wearing a comfy sweatshirt and feeling happy and watching my grandkids play on my huge property. My sons aren’t that nice but they make a lot of money
If you film yourself ranting in your car you definitely know what’s up
November 19, 2025 at 4:36 PM
If you film yourself ranting in your car you definitely know what’s up
Comedy show bookers I am totally available the morning of December 25. What ya got?
November 19, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Comedy show bookers I am totally available the morning of December 25. What ya got?
Bluesky is so fun. It’s full of people joking around and interacting with each other
November 18, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Bluesky is so fun. It’s full of people joking around and interacting with each other
Guys, you need to be able to NOT be serious about jokes. For example; if a comedian says “I ate so many pancakes I am peeing syrup” you don’t have to reply “You are not peeing syrup because that is impossible. This is what is wrong with society today the left think you can pee syrup” etc, you get it
November 18, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Guys, you need to be able to NOT be serious about jokes. For example; if a comedian says “I ate so many pancakes I am peeing syrup” you don’t have to reply “You are not peeing syrup because that is impossible. This is what is wrong with society today the left think you can pee syrup” etc, you get it
If you’re from Canada you know what “summalemmateena” means
November 18, 2025 at 12:40 PM
If you’re from Canada you know what “summalemmateena” means
I'm into mystical nutrition
November 17, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I'm into mystical nutrition
If I like Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul will I like Star Wars and Indiana Jones and Avatar and Guardians Of The Galaxy and Frankenstein and Batman and Ghostbusters and LEGO and pizza?
November 16, 2025 at 7:08 PM
If I like Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul will I like Star Wars and Indiana Jones and Avatar and Guardians Of The Galaxy and Frankenstein and Batman and Ghostbusters and LEGO and pizza?
If you don’t eat Kraft Dinner straight from the pot are you still really eating it? Hi, I’m Chris. A Canadian man
November 15, 2025 at 11:59 PM
If you don’t eat Kraft Dinner straight from the pot are you still really eating it? Hi, I’m Chris. A Canadian man
I’m not religious because I don’t want to go to Hell, be burning in a lake of fire, then the archangel Michael’s giving Mary a tour and I’m going “Hey Mary! Mary over here! In the lake of fire! Mary!” And she doesn’t even notice me
November 15, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I’m not religious because I don’t want to go to Hell, be burning in a lake of fire, then the archangel Michael’s giving Mary a tour and I’m going “Hey Mary! Mary over here! In the lake of fire! Mary!” And she doesn’t even notice me
If everything’s a hoax then what is my brain?
November 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
If everything’s a hoax then what is my brain?
1/2 Thanks honestly to God the Lord for building my body in your garage while DEVO played on the record player and your wife, Allison, made ham and Swiss submarine sandwiches with chocolate milk in little yellow and red plastic cups…
November 13, 2025 at 9:26 PM
1/2 Thanks honestly to God the Lord for building my body in your garage while DEVO played on the record player and your wife, Allison, made ham and Swiss submarine sandwiches with chocolate milk in little yellow and red plastic cups…