Gordon Freeman
@clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
74 followers 72 following 190 posts
i dunno how i got here my memory is fuzzy patches what i do know? I'm Gordon Freeman and i HATE aliens -------------------- feel free to @ me for whatever reason, i'll probably interact :p PFP BY MY AWESOME FRIEND @the1jac0b.bsky.social‬ GO FOLLOW THEM >:3
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clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
uhhhh pinned :p
GORDON FREEMAN (Cloned Edition™) IS IN PARODY BLUESKY :O (thread)
[basic stuff]
this is a parody of Gordon Freeman from Half-Life, go play it if you haven't. there WILL be spoilers mentioned.
feel free to @ me for any reason, i'll interact. you think i won't? TEST IT.
Reposted by Gordon Freeman
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
Is that perhaps a half-life reference i see with my 2 eyeballs?
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
apparently the guy i'm cloned from got turned into a headcrab by a wizard
honestly? deserved
fuck that guy
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
AND I'M A CLONE SO THAT WASN'T EVEN MEEEE
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
IT'S BEEN 21 FUCKING YEARS
the-g-man-real.bsky.social
@clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social gordon... you lousy motherfucker... i can not believe you... destroyed that casserole...

Arne Magnusson is... still quite angry at you for it...
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
I have a theoretical degree in kicking your fucking ass
the-g-man-real.bsky.social
Gordon... while your Ph.D. in theoretical physics might be... quite the accomplishment... it is just that, theoretical...
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
if they don't quiet down, can i get it?
Reposted by Gordon Freeman
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
Sorry for being late
Uh yeah, i survived an alien invasion about 20 years ago
Some guy in a suit kidnapped me
And then i incited a revolution against a different alien race
pissedoffasfuck.bsky.social
#ᑕᕼᗩIᖇՏᑕᕼᗩᒪᒪᗴᑎᘜᗴ

SIGGGHHHHHH alright interview start!, soooo says hear that you... Survived some sort of zombie apocalypse and a lot of other shit? What's that about
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
I was gonna ask if you could store some i'd been accumulating for a while
pissedoffasfuck.bsky.social
What the fuck no I don't eat human corpses
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
okay ykw fine, i'll do your... interview....
what's the first question? hit me
pissedoffasfuck.bsky.social
STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING INTERVIEWS IF YOU WANNA JOIN ONE OF THE TEAMS SCHEDULE AN INTERVIEW WITH ME!!! ALSO WAFFLES ARE WAY FUCKING BETTER CAUSE THEY HAVE DIVOTS FOR STUFF AND ARE CRUNCHY WHEN MADE GOOD!!!
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
yeah, but we don't pay our employees, it's like volunteer work
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
i.... i don't run any companies, how would i help you get a job???
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
oh
is it possible to store stuff there?
better question, do you like Human corpses?
pissedoffasfuck.bsky.social
It's not really, there's just an endless void of nothingness under my couch cushions
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
clonedfreeman1198.bsky.social
pfp by my very awesome friend @the1jac0b.bsky.social, they are very awesome and they make very high quality art, go follow them :3