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coffee.

@cockmonster63.bsky.social

340 followers 1.5K following 280 posts

[he.she.they.it] giasfelfebrehberserialshittercockmonster63

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · Jul 16

oh, akathisia is available pretty much everywhere!

anyway, here are the three links most people would care about.

youtu.be/cz_fa1Jban4

cockmonster63.bandcamp.com/album/akathi...

open.spotify.com/intl-fr/albu...

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 16h

bangs are just so fucking annoying with glasses. if i trusted myself enough, i would probably get contact lens.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 16h

i had a psychotic episode recently. it's not the first time ever, but it's been a while. might have to do with going cold turkey.

Reposted by coffee.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 2d

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Reposted by coffee.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

dizzy self-portrait.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 1d

second phase looks absolutely rough. but as soon as one of them is actually down, the fight will be free.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 1d

[silksong spoilers]

the footage turned out laggy, and the audio is messed up, too. next time, i'll use obs instead of the steam recording feature. clearly, my laptop can't handle it.

but anyway, i'm getting the hang of it and even allow myself to tank damage to attack them now.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 1d

oh, thank you!! i'm not really sure of what i'm doing though

(yours is really soft && warm i like it a lot)

Reposted by coffee.

Wupiiu🫧 @wupiiu.bsky.social · 1d

Not daily Yume Nikki / Madotsuki (#30)
Dream world drip

I would want a batsu clip irl and other ones too
#yumenikki #ゆめにっき #madotsuki #art

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 2d

if only shipping && customs didn't cost an arm, i'd just stick to those website i visit for hours.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 2d

each time i see cool lolita clothes on vinted, someone buys them before me. this isn't unfair. i want to be gender && elegant.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 2d

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 3d

also, don't play on valium. it's rough.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 3d

wow the audio is so fucked. sorry, steam recording lags so much on my laptop.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 3d

[silksong spoilers]

alright, i'm ever-so-slightly getting used to the double pattern thingy. but it's really hard to keep track of their teleportations, subtle animations cues while also having to decide on how to act on it next.

i really have to stop pogo once they can do aerial attacks.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

i flagged it just in case, but it might be useless in some accounts since you can decide to display sensitive content by default .we should really have an actual straight-up spoiler flair.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

[silksong spoilers]

ok, i'm FINALLY getting started && it's rough. i suck.

also the barbed bracelet is only there to force myself to be more focused && get used to their double patterns before doing it normally... unless i feel confident enough at some point. but let's be real (no).

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

i feel this. when you struggle to focus on anything else, it's as if your heart stop for a second as a weird shiver spreads to your throat. it just makes your whole body feel awkward && awful to be in. sometimes it even genuinely hurts when it starts a panic atk.

at least that's how it feels to me.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

i'm 'impressed' by how physical anxiety && depression actually are. i feel heavy, exhausted && want to expel vomit all the time. i also feel like invisible hands are pushing against my chest && gripping my throat, if that makes sense.

i even had a dream about this invisible hands concept.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

my hand hurts too much to put more efforts into the dreadlocks. but i'll figure out how to draw them at some point.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 4d

dizzy self-portrait.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 5d

i give up. i'll either get the courage to kill myself or live a long miserable life until i get dementia. i don't know.

i'm getting drunk today. i wish i was high instead, but this is better than nothing.

coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 5d

i'm already so weak. once things get worse, how will i handle them?

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 5d

my friends are too nice to say it, but eventually they will get bored of me. i already got bored of myself, to be honest.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 5d

i feel like i'm getting more && more boring. except saying i want to die, my neet life doesn't provide much to talk about.

i cannot mature or be entertaining. i just do the same things over && over until nothing makes sense. that's all.

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coffee. @cockmonster63.bsky.social · 7d

i don't really have any hope left. i'm a fatalistic piece of filth again. i just let things happen. i don't have enough energy for interfere outside of my own little bubble.

daydreaming is all i have left. anxiety && suicidal thoughts are the only things grounding me on reality.