Colin Douch
@colindou.ch
Formerly Techleading #o11y at Cloudflare, now attempting to touch computers as little as possible 💖💜💙🏳️🌈
Hey Perl folks - anyone know if there's a definition of what the file that NYTProf outputs actually _is_? Or am I going spelunking into the C++ that reads it for nytprofhtml?
January 13, 2026 at 11:06 AM
Hey Perl folks - anyone know if there's a definition of what the file that NYTProf outputs actually _is_? Or am I going spelunking into the C++ that reads it for nytprofhtml?
There's so many people lauding the fact that we can produce software so much faster with AI, and so little pushback as to whether more software is even a net positive. We just do it because we can, like a software manifest destiny
January 12, 2026 at 9:30 AM
There's so many people lauding the fact that we can produce software so much faster with AI, and so little pushback as to whether more software is even a net positive. We just do it because we can, like a software manifest destiny
I've been going back and forth on posting this one, but it's nice to get back into writing. Part memoir, part technical document on my time at Cloudflare: blog.colindou.ch/posts/my-tim...
My time at Cloudflare: A Retrospective
It’s been just over a year since I left my 7 and a bit year stint at Cloudflare, and I’ve had a lot of time to mull over the experience. I have … a lot of thoughts, and I figured the best way to get t...
blog.colindou.ch
January 9, 2026 at 5:03 PM
I've been going back and forth on posting this one, but it's nice to get back into writing. Part memoir, part technical document on my time at Cloudflare: blog.colindou.ch/posts/my-tim...
Mandatory reading that should be included in the UK citizenship pack
December 9, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Mandatory reading that should be included in the UK citizenship pack
That feature was a major cause of a friend and me having a split for a while when he saw what I _really_ thought before deleting it 😂
November 19, 2025 at 7:20 PM
That feature was a major cause of a friend and me having a split for a while when he saw what I _really_ thought before deleting it 😂
My one comment on the Cloudflare outage from yesterday is that it's ironic that it's almost exactly the same failure mode as the 2019 outage: shipping a config file worldwide without any validation steps. Bets on the 2031 outage reason?
November 19, 2025 at 8:20 AM
My one comment on the Cloudflare outage from yesterday is that it's ironic that it's almost exactly the same failure mode as the 2019 outage: shipping a config file worldwide without any validation steps. Bets on the 2031 outage reason?
In Nuremburg again for OSMC, and making my yearly pilgrimage to have a bit of a taste of home on this side of the world.
November 17, 2025 at 10:48 AM
In Nuremburg again for OSMC, and making my yearly pilgrimage to have a bit of a taste of home on this side of the world.
There's a great quote from Vonnegut in Player Piano: A step backwards, when you've taken a wrong turn is a step in the right direction. Call me a luddite, but I think about that a lot with modern tech
October 15, 2025 at 2:20 PM
There's a great quote from Vonnegut in Player Piano: A step backwards, when you've taken a wrong turn is a step in the right direction. Call me a luddite, but I think about that a lot with modern tech
Reposted by Colin Douch
Lights! Crackers! Action! It's launch week!
The Kickstarter for book 2 in mine and Johnny Schumann's CHEESE! series is launching at 10am on Thursday.
The Kickstarter for book 2 in mine and Johnny Schumann's CHEESE! series is launching at 10am on Thursday.
October 6, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Lights! Crackers! Action! It's launch week!
The Kickstarter for book 2 in mine and Johnny Schumann's CHEESE! series is launching at 10am on Thursday.
The Kickstarter for book 2 in mine and Johnny Schumann's CHEESE! series is launching at 10am on Thursday.
Maybe just for a certain age then 🤭
May 17, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Maybe just for a certain age then 🤭
I'm flying out at 6 am tomorrow, but am I getting bladdered at a Eurovision party? Obviously. I don't want to lose my queer card 😅
May 17, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I'm flying out at 6 am tomorrow, but am I getting bladdered at a Eurovision party? Obviously. I don't want to lose my queer card 😅
I'm going to disappear from the internet for a couple of weeks, so before I go, let's drop something I've been working on. A while ago I wrote about the lack of serverless applications in the open source world (blog.colindou.ch/posts/open-s...), so here's one: github.com/sinkingpoint...
GitHub - sinkingpoint/onotify: A drop in replacement for Prometheus Alertmanager, built on top of Cloudflare Workers
A drop in replacement for Prometheus Alertmanager, built on top of Cloudflare Workers - sinkingpoint/onotify
github.com
April 12, 2025 at 2:18 PM
I'm going to disappear from the internet for a couple of weeks, so before I go, let's drop something I've been working on. A while ago I wrote about the lack of serverless applications in the open source world (blog.colindou.ch/posts/open-s...), so here's one: github.com/sinkingpoint...
Even though I'm no longer there, I continue to be proud of what the Cloudflare Observability team is accomplishing. Pushing boundaries to solve unique, and not so unique problems: github.com/cloudflare/p...
GitHub - cloudflare/parquet-tsdb-poc: A POC for a tsdb storage using parquet
A POC for a tsdb storage using parquet. Contribute to cloudflare/parquet-tsdb-poc development by creating an account on GitHub.
github.com
March 6, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Even though I'm no longer there, I continue to be proud of what the Cloudflare Observability team is accomplishing. Pushing boundaries to solve unique, and not so unique problems: github.com/cloudflare/p...
God I feel old youtu.be/gj_aHCpZl4k
Pancake Day - Maid Marian
YouTube video by Swimace
youtu.be
March 4, 2025 at 10:58 PM
God I feel old youtu.be/gj_aHCpZl4k
It's pppppppp-pancake day!
March 4, 2025 at 7:57 PM
It's pppppppp-pancake day!
Obligatory: youtu.be/TIZneWRGxZ8
Chowder - OH NO! IT ALL WENT WRONG!!
YouTube video by ProteinBlob
youtu.be
February 27, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Obligatory: youtu.be/TIZneWRGxZ8
Small things that bring me joy: The OpenAI status page has "we've spotted that something has gone wrong", which is separate from their "we're investigating an issue" update. What happens between those two? What is the transition from "issue" to "something has gone wrong"?
February 27, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Small things that bring me joy: The OpenAI status page has "we've spotted that something has gone wrong", which is separate from their "we're investigating an issue" update. What happens between those two? What is the transition from "issue" to "something has gone wrong"?
Even I forgot they did that 😂 What a weird acquisition
February 27, 2025 at 8:10 AM
Even I forgot they did that 😂 What a weird acquisition
Hey, I'm not saying Nagios was _perfect_, but man I feel old having to explain anything non Prometheus to folks
February 26, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Hey, I'm not saying Nagios was _perfect_, but man I feel old having to explain anything non Prometheus to folks
In every conversation I've had with Pagerduty folks recently they've been really heavily pushing workflows, which is funny because everyone shits on Nagios which had event handlers 20 years ago and we've been rebuilding it worse ever since
February 25, 2025 at 11:48 AM
In every conversation I've had with Pagerduty folks recently they've been really heavily pushing workflows, which is funny because everyone shits on Nagios which had event handlers 20 years ago and we've been rebuilding it worse ever since
This is the internet. If you don't know one, you can find one. It's really not that hard - there's even a dedicated subreddit if that's your thing
February 14, 2025 at 6:55 PM
This is the internet. If you don't know one, you can find one. It's really not that hard - there's even a dedicated subreddit if that's your thing
Small rant: If you're using AI generated images in your conference talks, and there are obvious AI artifacts, you clearly don't care about your talk and I don't care to listen. Do better than garbled text and stub handed monsters. Or better, hire an actual artist! They still exist!
February 14, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Small rant: If you're using AI generated images in your conference talks, and there are obvious AI artifacts, you clearly don't care about your talk and I don't care to listen. Do better than garbled text and stub handed monsters. Or better, hire an actual artist! They still exist!
Had a blood test, and the NHS gives me two options to increase my HDL cholesterol. Anyone wanna go for a drink?
February 10, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Had a blood test, and the NHS gives me two options to increase my HDL cholesterol. Anyone wanna go for a drink?
Reposted by Colin Douch
Turns out the hardest part of publishing a book is getting people to buy it.
Only 3 copies sold this month.
I'm still determined to show that there is space for indie books in a market drenched in celebrities.
Check out CHEESE! at the links in comments below
Only 3 copies sold this month.
I'm still determined to show that there is space for indie books in a market drenched in celebrities.
Check out CHEESE! at the links in comments below
January 31, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Turns out the hardest part of publishing a book is getting people to buy it.
Only 3 copies sold this month.
I'm still determined to show that there is space for indie books in a market drenched in celebrities.
Check out CHEESE! at the links in comments below
Only 3 copies sold this month.
I'm still determined to show that there is space for indie books in a market drenched in celebrities.
Check out CHEESE! at the links in comments below