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Cooperstreaming ♿️

@cooperstreaming.bsky.social

40K followers 680 following 21K posts

♿️ The most overly confident disabled woman in America. Mark Hamill once told me I had pretty eyes and I'll never shut up about it. As seen in Buzzfeed, The BBC, New York Magazine, & most forebodingly, TMZ https://linktr.ee/Cooperstreaming

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2m

At some point he will have to tell me and I will have to pay if he wants me to have this surgery so what is the point of stringing me along for so long and not telling me.

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2m

this surgery. It is an extensive nectomy and I feel like because all of his patients are desperate and cannot go to other people, he can weild this over them.

I was hoping against hope that perhaps there was some sort of justification I could not see.

But this is just fucked.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2m

And I have explicitly asked multiple times and when he told me a specific person handles it I emailed that person to follow up and she straight up told me he doesn't want her to discuss it with me yet.

WHY. That is so evasive and feels shady af.

He is one of the only people in the US that does

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2m

Yeah it's very clearly that he doesn't want me to know yet and I am wondering if there is any possible legitimate justification for that.

It is an out-of-pocket surgery so it is obviously extremely expensive but it also means there aren't insurance variables. He knows how much it is.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4m

It is an out of pocket surgery, so insurance is not at play. They know exactly how much it will cost It's like they want me to be in some cost theory or something? After traveling & getting injections?

Because what is the point of not telling me? Either I have that much money or I don't

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 42m

And he STILL won't let his staff talk to me about it!

WHY.

I can't imagine what possible reason there would be for this. Frankly I think it was cruel and crazy to force me to travel and get an injection before giving the information but now they still won't? What is the deal????

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 42m

Can anybody think of a plausible good reason why a doctor would not tell you how much a procedure costs right away?

I have been dealing with a surgeon since the summer, had to travel for the first time in years for an injection, not knowing if I could even afford the surgery if I was approved...

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 6h

Bot

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 1d

This one was very precious to me. It's only find one that actually still lit up so I had to buy a second phone to get his scarf. Worth it.

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 1d

The "Belvedeer" Avon 1987

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 1d

Sometimes things get lost, or taken, and it's just the way things are. There's no getting them back.

Sometimes you scour eBay until you find two different listings to put the pieces together and remake the light up reindeer you loved for 38 years before someone walked out the door with him 🥹🥹🥹

A white stuffed reindeer with a big round light up nose. It is shaped like it sits upright similarly to a teddy bear. It has a white body with red capped hooves and antlers and is stuffed to look chubby with a big smile. It sits against the headboard of a bed.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 1d

I believe it was...

"Men be like: How dare you ruin my reputation by telling people things I did and said.". 💀

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2d

I haven't watched a show about British teens since Skins 😀💀

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2d

I think maybe sometimes I'm too old for stories about teenagers because it's understandable that they're going to be ridiculous.

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 2d

Also the plot is dumb. What do you mean you missed some freshmen credits so you need another semester and it's going to cost 20K?

This happened to me and I just took online courses at Community college and finished. And that was almost 20 years ago.

Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 3d

Probably read the book that show is based on I think it's a series

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 3d

Watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, and is this just a story about the two most obnoxious people alive being assholes to everyone, and that means they're meant for each other?

Fuck them kids

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 3d

and it mimizes the actual pain & loss while projecting onto a future that is a fantasy.

It's really okay to just deal with the fact that something is sad and bad and allow it to be that. Face the reality along with the person going through it and allow them to grieve the things they are grieving.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 3d

Best case scenario if somehow the science magically moves forward fast enough and it gets approved to be done on people You're usually looking at at least decades of lost if it happens within your lifetime

"Technology will change" is an awful response because it's not even remotely sure to be true

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 3d

So we really hate it when people say stuff like that to us.

First of all most of the time it's not true. Science is developing relatively quickly but in terms of medical strides things still go through decades of testing before they are brought to the general public. We lose things. It's real.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4d

Aw, I don't think I'm worthy of all that, but it was really nice to hear. I badly want to be a good friend despite having so many limitations & barriers to providing community support to people I love.

It meant a lot to discover that ppl enjoy me when I can't do anything for them.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4d

It's tough. But the last time she said it to me, I was in my late 30's and I just started laughing.

In a funny way it was nice to find out that the awful voice inside my head wasn't even my own voice. It was just hers. And she can't talk to me anymore.

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4d

despite everything I know to be true, it still has its claws in me. I think it's really tough with something that dug its way into your brain when you were so young you weren't really capable of critical thinking.

All the facts & logic in the world can't beat back a ghost. It was never truth at all

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4d

Yep. I've done a lot of work in that area but it is sort of like original sin. It's this foundational thing that I'm constantly trying to get over, reframe, or outrun

Logically I know even she didn't believe that. She just said it to be cruel, crush my spirit, & control me

But somehow, emotionally

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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 4d

I feel so out of sorts all the time. Anxious when I never used to be anxious. Worried people won't want to hang out because I'm not normal, or anything resembling normal.

My mom would always say to me "No one likes you, no one loves you".

I believed her. It defined me.

She was wrong.

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