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Craig Hillman

@craighillman.bsky.social

160 followers 240 following 680 posts

Artist/writer into horror, science fiction, musical comedy

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jun 11

Closed up a plot hole that has always bugged me.
#TheWizardOfOz #Wicked

Two sepia-toned frames from the final scene of The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy is in bed, surrounded by Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, the farmhands, and Professor Marvel. In the first frame, Toto has just jumped on the bed. Dorothy is saying: "Toto! You're alive!" In the second frame, clasping the dog to her chest, she tearily asks the others: "But doesn't Miss Gulch still want to have him destroyed?"

Two following frames from the finale of The Wizard of Oz. Top frame: Professor Marvel annswers "Oh, I think we can say the twister put an end to those plans," sharing a sly, knowing look with the other adults, who seem amused. Bottom frame: Dorothy hugs Toto, looking relieved.

Two final frames of The Wizard of Oz. Top frame: Miss Gulch and her bicycle are skewered upon a leaning, broken telegraph pole, several more of which can be seen in the distance. Her impaled body droops lifelessly, suspended above the dirt road.
Bottom frame: A closing credit reads, The End

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 10h

Trump in the zipper scene from "Something About Mary."

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Sep 11

In an alternate timeline we got this gem.

A VHS sleeve for Blake Edwards' nonexistent 1965 movie PARDON HER FRENCH, starring Rock Hudson and Carol Burnett

Leonard Maltin's imaginary review of PARDON HER FRENCH. Three and a half stars.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Sep 6

Your alt text makes no mention of the bat-shaped thing (what...IS it?) on the Ozzy burger, and I'm not sure if I'm grateful for that or not.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Aug 27

The way it keeps one guessing, and then second-guessing, is exquisitely suspenseful. (I think "It can't be... It can't be... Can it?" became a sort of mental mantra of mine by the end.) A terrific ride, and a fun time capsule of 1953 in its way.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Aug 27

It's a wonderful contrivance too, isn't it; expressly using the non-visual medium of the novel to mask a villain who'd otherwise be instantly identifiable. And Levin was only 23 when he wrote it, damn him. I've enjoyed all his stuff, from the less loved to the astonishingly good. A true genre giant.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 20

Ugh. Enough with the therapy animals in hospitals. Imagine thinking "Man, I sure hope my surgeon washed his hands" as they wheel your gurney past a horse's ass. (At least these are mini horses, not like that full-sized one that was visiting the terminally ill in France a while back. Nightmarish.)

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 20

I'd say you've the magic down pat. Your poetry has inspired me to try my hand (only increasing my awe at what you do.) I like the 30-40 letter guideline, which I'll need to apply henceforth; Q.E.D. my own go at a weather-themed anagram, yielding these 2 clunky drafts, of which I prefer the shorter.

Forecast: A grey-skied threat of precipitation,
then a weary rumble of thunder

Come before the dreadful pitter-patter of icy rains soaking the unwary earth.

...

Forecast: An eerie, grey-skied threat of precipitation, then an ungodly rumble of thunderclaps

Come before the dreadful pitter-patter of icy, cleansing rains soak upon the underlying earth.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 20

You amaze, Mr. Etherin. I love the terse beauty of this one and I wonder: When you are constructing anagrammatic phrases, do you have a preference as to their length? Is shorter sweeter? When I try, it often feels like constant adjusting/overloading to get the lines to sync, to their detriment.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 14

When he got past "slick slogans" I relaxed like someone watching an ice dancer land a jump.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 14

The way he pronounces "Cuomo" (with a closing vowel sound not unlike the French "comment") followed by "under ā rock" perplexes me. The first I don't recall ever having heard pronounced that way; the second sounds like a hostage cold-reading their captor's ransom note in a proof-of-life video.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jul 9

Any excuse to post my fever dream of an imaginary musical...

A Playbill for the imaginary musical version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf starring Steve and Eydie as George and Martha

A 45 of Eydie's recording of her presumed 11- o'clock number ("Snap!") above a clipping from a review in the NY Times

A headline clipped from an imagined John Simon review in New York Magazine, above a publicity still of Gormé with costars Karen Valentine and Fabian.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jun 14

For a hot sec I thought I was watching Original Cast Album: Company... but I warn't.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jun 7

décolleté, perhaps

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · Jun 1

Confiscating.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 31

Grand High Witch Eva Ernst must be worried that people will think she's related to that ghoul.

Anjelica Houston in gruesome creature makeup as "Eva Ernst" in the movie THE WITCHES

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 30

could've played it differently...

Musk valiantly leaping in front of Trump

Musk wearing an odd gauze bandage over his eye

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 30

no comment

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 30

That's more believable than some stories.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 30

Running interference

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 30

Heh. To the extent that I miss Twitter (not a whole helluva lot), it's mostly how you could watch memes/pics/etc. take off. This one I made a couple days ago coulda gone the distance!

The photoshopped pic I made in response to learning about the alleged Stephen Miller & wife "throuple" with Elon Musk. It shows Miller sitting on the corner chair of a hotel, with an Elon Musk-style "Dark MAGA" hat on the foot of the bed.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 29

The reverse angle

Stephen Miller sits on a corner chair in a hotel room. There's an Elon Musk "Dark MAGA" hat on the foot of the bed.

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 29

But... what if being ridiculed is sort of my friends' kink? 🤷‍♂️

Stephen Miller sits on a corner chair in a hotel room. There's an Elon Musk "Dark MAGA" hat resting on the foot of the bed.

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Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 29

Second-best pair of lips in history. Fight me.

Charlie Cox's lips beneath a Daredevil hood next to Fragment of a Queen's Face

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 29

...

Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · May 29

pretty much

Altered stock photo of a doctor in an examination room with a patient who is on fire. The doctor is holding a fire extinguisher while casually reading from his cell phone: "Hold up, it looks like we could be dealing with arson here..."