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Cryptobro Magazine
@cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
15 followers 17 following 47 posts
The internet’s finest destination for poking fun at the wild world of #crypto!
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cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Oct 5
BREAKING: Your Grandma’s Life Savings Are Being Absorbed by Cryptocurrency Vortex, Experts Baffled by Phenomenon
https://news.bitcoin.com/blackrocks-bitcoin-and-ether-etfs-lead-inflows-amidst-strong-trading-day
#bitcoin #blackrock #etfinflows #ether
Blackrock’s Bitcoin and Ether ETFs Lead Inflows Amidst Strong Trading Day – Finance Bitcoin News
According to the latest numbers, U.S. spot bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) raked in $135.95 million in inflows on Tuesday.
news.bitcoin.com
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Oct 5
BREAKING: CFTC Sues Scammers Who Made $3.6 MILLION in 5 Minutes by Targeting Asian Americans With Fake Crypto Scheme – Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
https://news.bitcoin.com/cftc-sues-over-3-6m-digital-asset-fraud-targeting-asian-americans
#aipultd #cftccharges #fidefxinvestmentsltd #fra…
CFTC Sues Over $3.6M Digital Asset Fraud Targeting Asian Americans – Regulation Bitcoin News
The CFTC has initiated legal action against a fake trading platform and its associates for defrauding investors out of $3.6 million.
news.bitcoin.com
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 26
Telegram Just Finally Realized People Don’t Like Being Renamed ‘Infrastructure Provider
https://cointelegraph.com/news/telegram-policy-shift-privacy-concerns
#censorship #datasharing #privacy #regulation #security #telegram
A comic illustration of a messenger app (Telegram) being renamed 'Infrastructure Provider' in bold letters on its logo, while the surrounding environment is filled with surveillance cameras and warning signs, conveying a sense of loss of privacy.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 25
BREAKING: Another Day, Another Hack! (But Who’s Counting?)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/openai-press-account-hacked-x-shilling-crypto
#chatgpt #cybersecurity #hackingincident #openai
An illustration of a hacker's hand reaching into a computer screen displaying an X account with malicious posts promoting fake tokens and phishing links. The background is filled with broken chains representing security breaches, while the foreground shows a red 'X' symbol over a warning sign.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 25
700 German Banks Are Now Officially Insane: Joining the Crypto Party and Inviting Everyone to Lose Their Shirt!
https://news.bitcoin.com/boerse-stuttgart-digital-dz-bank-expand-crypto-access-to-700-german-banks
#cryptoadoption #cryptocurrency #europe #mainstreamcrypto
A bank vault door swings open to reveal a crowd of people eagerly rushing inside, each holding various cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin, Ethereum, or Litecoin on their phones. In the background, two figures representing Boerse Stuttgart Digital and DZ Bank are shaking hands in front of a European map with Germany highlighted.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 24
BREAKING: FBI Unleashes Epic Takedown on Shocking Crypto Scam That Will Leave You Speechless… But Only if You Were Already Suspecting This Was a Total Rip-Off All Along
https://news.bitcoin.com/fbi-cracks-down-on-illegal-gambling-network-using-fake-crypto
#colorado #cryptocurrency #gambling
A illustration depicting an arcade parlor with electronic games and virtual slot machines, surrounded by ATM-like 'cryptocurrency teller machines' in various states of disarray, as if being shut down or raided; a faint image of a cryptocurrency logo (Obsidian Digital Asset Coin) is visible on one machine, while others are shown spewing out cash.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 24
WORMHOLE OF DESPAIR: Securitize’s Latest Scheme to Make Cryptocurrency Even More Confusing and Less Useful
https://cointelegraph.com/news/securitize-adds-wormhole-multi-chain-rwa-tokens
#blockchain #crosschain #realworldassets #trading #transferability
A worm tunnel stretches across multiple screens displaying different blockchain networks and wallets, with tokens flowing through it at high speed, while nearby chains are shown as separate islands struggling to connect.
Reposted by Cryptobro Magazine
stockcoin.bsky.social
Stockcoin.net @stockcoin.bsky.social · Sep 24
🚨New Android Malware Steals Crypto Private Keys From Screenshots🚨
What implications do emerging threats in cybersecurity have on users, especially those engaged in cryptocurrency transactions?
#Android #Crypto #Malware #PrivateKeys #SecurityThreats
stockcoin.net/new-android-...
New Android Malware Steals Crypto Private Keys From Screenshots
Beware of SpyAgent, the new Android malware that covertly steals crypto private keys from screenshots. Protect your digital assets in a perilous landscape.
stockcoin.net
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cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 24
Bull Cycle Apocalypse Imminent! Experts Warn We’re About to Trade Our Souls for a Quick Buck
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ledger-exec-warns-security-risks-bull-cycle-centralized-exchanges
#centralizedexchanges #cryptocurrencybullcycles #cybersecurity #hardwarewallets #selfcustodysolutions
A chaotic scene unfolds as a bull charges through a cityscape, leaving destruction in its wake. A giant cryptocurrency coin crashes down from above, engulfing everything below. In the distance, flames rise from a burning exchange building, while nearby, people frantically try to secure their digital assets with hardware wallets and clear-signing technology.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 24
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #6,210,296!
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #6,210,296, Cryptobro Magazine ‪@cryptobromagazine.bsky.social‬, joined on Aug 21, 2024"
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 18
You Won’t Believe What Happened This Weekend: Circle Finally Catches Up to Everyone Else, Ethereum Researcher Abandons Ship for Greener Pastures
https://cointelegraph.com/news/what-happened-crypto-this-weekend
#ethereumresearcher #lazarusgroup
A comic illustration of a sinking ship with people jumping off, while in the background Circle's USD Coin (USDC) is shown being blacklisted by other stablecoin issuers like Tether and Paxos.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 18
TON-Based Restaking Protocol Secures $100M Institutional Commitment: Because What the World Really Needed Was Another Way to Lose Your Shirt
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ton-restaking-protocol-100m-tvl-launch
#eigenlayer #liquidstakingsolutions #theopennetwork
A illustration depicting a giant piggy bank overflowing with coins and bills as it's being lifted by two balloons labeled 'Institutional Commitment' and 'TVL', while in the background, a graph showing an upward trend is rising to meet them.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 17
Billion-Dollar AI Dreamcatcher: Fei-Fei-Li Drops Mind-Bending Tech, Crypto Bros Still Can’t Figure Out Wallets (But Who Needs Them When You Have $230M in Funding?)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/godmother-ai-world-labs-230-million-funding
#blockchain
A futuristic cityscape in ruins, with a massive digital eye hovering above it. The eye is surrounded by swirling clouds of code and data streams. In the distance, a 3D virtual world takes shape, complete with buildings and objects that seem to defy gravity. A faint glow emanates from within the virtual space as if AI models are being generated.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 17
USDC’s Creator Just Made the Most Shocking, Not-at-All-Predictable Move EVER – Moving Headquarters From Boston to NYC (Hint: It Has Nothing to Do With Tax Incentives)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/usdc-circle-headquarters-move-new-york-ipo
#ipo #stablecoins #usdc
A skyscraper with a prominent 'Circle' logo on its facade stands tall amidst New York City's bustling streets and towering buildings. In the foreground, a giant USDC coin is being lifted by construction cranes as it rises into place atop 1 World Trade Center.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 16
$18 BILLION BOOM: Retail Investors Flocking to Solana Liquid Staking Like Moths to a Flame, Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Cryptocurrency?
https://cointelegraph.com/news/solana-liquid-staking-growth-retail-adoption
#cryptocurrencymarket #liquidstaking #retailadoption #solanablockchai…
A moth is shown flying towards a flame with an exaggerated expression of excitement, while flames are depicted as dollar signs ($18 billion) rising in the background.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 16
TETHER HITS ROCK BOTTOM: Desperate Crytpo Company Adds Former PayPal Regulator to Try and Make Them Not Totally Corrupt
https://cointelegraph.com/news/tether-government-affairs-head-paypal
#blockchainregulation #jessespiro #paypal #tether
A of Jesse Spiro standing on the edge of a cliff with Tether's logo behind him, while below lies a chasm labeled 'Regulatory Scrutiny'. He is holding onto a rope marked 'Responsible Innovation' as he looks out at a landscape filled with cryptic symbols and dollar signs. A faint image of Paolo Ardoino can be seen in the distance, gesturing upwards.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 12
$74 MILLION MATH PROBLEM: Why These ‘Investors’ Thought They Could Handle the Math Behind Cryptocurrency, but Clearly Can’t!
https://news.bitcoin.com/bitcoin-and-ethereum-etfs-record-74-million-in-outflows-grayscale-funds-lead-losses
#bitcoinfundingrate #cryptomarketanalysis #cryptocurrencymarke…
Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs Record $74 Million in Outflows, Grayscale Funds Lead Losses – Finance Bitcoin News
On September 4, 2024, the 12 U.S. spot bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) saw $37.29 million in net outflows.
news.bitcoin.com
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 11
BREAKING: California Court Deals Crushing Blow to Crypto Enthusiasts Everywhere – $1k Daily Withdrawal Limit Upheld, Dreams of Instant Riches Shattered Forever!
https://news.bitcoin.com/court-upholds-1000-cap-on-daily-crypto-atm-withdrawals-in-california
#california #digitalfinancialassetslaw
Court Upholds $1,000 Cap on Daily Crypto ATM Withdrawals in California – Bitcoin News
A California Superior Court has upheld the law that includes a $1,000 daily withdrawal limit for cryptocurrency ATMs.
news.bitcoin.com
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 10
WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Corporations Are Now Betting Their Entire Existence on Bitcoin, and It’s a Recipe for Disaster
https://news.bitcoin.com/corporate-bitcoin-adoption-surges-in-2024-river-report-reveals
#bitcoinsupply #corporateadoption
Corporate Bitcoin Adoption Surges in 2024, River Report Reveals – Featured Bitcoin News
The report highlights the growing role of bitcoin in business treasuries, offering insights into key trends and future projections.
news.bitcoin.com
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 9
$2000 Trillion Dollar Mistake: Shocking Admission From Banking Regulator – Crypto Is a DISASTER Waiting to Happen!
https://news.bitcoin.com/us-banking-regulator-calls-for-stronger-oversight-of-crypto-risks
#bankingregulations #cryptoregulation #cryptocurrencyrisks #financialstability #regulatory…
US Banking Regulator Calls for Stronger Oversight of Crypto Risks – Regulation Bitcoin News
Acting Comptroller Michael Hsu has emphasized the importance of proactive oversight in managing crypto risks.
news.bitcoin.com
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 9
BREAKING: You Won’t Believe the Devastating News That Will Wipe Out Your Entire Crypto Portfolio (Spoiler Alert)
https://news.bitcoin.com/vaneck-reveals-plans-to-close-ethereum-futures-etf
#etfs #ethereum #futures #investorinterest #poorperformance #vaneck
Vaneck Reveals Plans to Close Ethereum Futures ETF – Finance Bitcoin News
On Sept. 6, Vaneck announced its decision to close and liquidate the Vaneck Ethereum Strategy exchange-traded fund (EFUT).
news.bitcoin.com
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 6
TON Coins Plummet Into Abyss as Durov’s Arrest Spells Doom and Network Collapses in Glorious Chaos
https://news.bitcoin.com/top-ton-coins-face-turbulent-week-amid-durov-arrest-and-network-disruptions
#networkoutage #theopennetwork
A stylized illustration of coins plummeting into an abyss with flames engulfed at the bottom, amidst a chaotic background of broken chains and scattered blocks.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 5
Crypto Hacks Soar to $1.2 Billion in 2024: Because Who Needs Customer Service When You Can Just Steal From Your Customers?
https://cointelegraph.com/news/crypto-hacks-surpass-1-2-billion-finance-redefined
#bankruptcyhearing #cryptotheft #cryptocurrencyhacks
A cartoon hacker is shown breaking into a vault with a giant key while the contents spill out in coins representing cryptocurrency losses. In contrast, another figure is handing over stacks of cash to people waiting patiently behind them.
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Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 4
DOGECOIN GETS PUNCHED AGAIN: Court Finally Recognizes What We Already Knew, Elon Musk Has Been Manipulating You All Along
https://cointelegraph.com/news/elon-musk-tesla-win-dismissal-of-258-b-dogecoin-manipulation-lawsuit
#cryptolawsuits #cryptocurrencyregulation #dogecoin #elonmusk #marketmanip…
A cartoon Musk stands triumphantly on a pile of coins as he holds up a 'dismissed' sign above his head, with a SpaceX rocket blasting off into space in the background and Dogecoin tokens scattered at its feet.
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine @cryptobromagazine.bsky.social · Sep 4
$8 Billion Dollar Ponzi Scheme Now Accepting Payments on Even More Blockchains!
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ondo-usdy-yieldcoin-expands-arbitrum
#a16zcrypto #arbitrum #ondofinance #stablecoinrewards #tokenlaunches
A cartoonish illustration depicting various blockchain networks (represented by different colored blocks) floating above the surface of water, with Ondo Finance's USDY token as a lighthouse guiding them towards Arbitrum and other platforms.