im sorry, but yes, i am begging for money, i have debts i can pay, medication i cant get and just not enough to survive, i need funds to get by

ko-fi.com/cupbun

well, this is as far as i can go, its time to say farewell, its really soul crushing, i always wanted to belong, but the miracle never happened, im just disillusioned now, i dont think i can hope for a better future for myself, so instead i hope my story never repeats itself in someone else

over all things, what i would had wished is honesty, even if bleak i would have accepted it if it was the truth

i fulfilled my part of the bargain and i still was left to rot, why to promise things that were not done in the end, if you told me you did not intended to do anything at all, i would had understood that, but you promised it and that is what ruined my life

do what you want nowdays, i cant stop you, i have no push in this community anymore i am nobody, my work is even more known than my name is, so i shouldnt care, but the confinement ive been forced to live in, for the last 5 years, its been soul crushing, i cant draw like this

i did my part, im sure of it, now i admit my expectations were too high, but back in the day it was the pinacle, what else i would have to believe that i was going to be saved from the purgatory i live in, and instead i was surely sent into it to suffer alone

i dont wish to argue anymore or have more conflict, is just pain all round, been in this purgatory for 5 years, damn, ok, i will give abu the benefit of the doubt after so long and so many rumours that steamed from thing i did not say, but why why in hell was i betrayed and left to rot, i did my job

i hate to bring it up, it brings trauma, but is a reality that cant be changed, and the counterpart refuses to do any kind of reparations, so thats that and its just what it is

my life was ruined forever 5 years ago, and i will haunt my abusers forever because i refuse to die

this realization brought to my memory a little something that happened 5 years ago, where i mentioned the u word to someone of power, their answer was, it was not necessary, they get more than what they should

and honestly that explanation wouldnt be necessary if they did not fear that concept

ive been hitting my head for years as to why working conditions were so bad and poor in what it seemed the companies with the biggest revenue here, easy to estimate more than 50 workers inside, and yeah, union is the answer

some abdl companies are big enough warehouse workers should realize for once that unionizing is viable, and that independant contracts for all positions is not a normal, or ethical practice

hey, they mean a lot to me actually, and i do remember you of course, as i do with everyone i have individual experiences

is just, that, well, i havent been able to log since a couple nights ago, and besides i dont know what to say that may help, i am reading and listening tho

it sucks but what really makes it soul breaking for me is that there is no way out anymore, this is my present and future and maybe i made a mistake in daring to be here existing again

having to get rid of the last things i had as memorabilia of who i am, and, i just crack and fall and cry because i have nothing, and no chance to even see this world anymore since 5 years ago but now completely, im not alowed to exist i guess, and now im just traveling by foot in forests and shit

i will probably be homeless for the rest of my life, and i dont want to go to the city, i dont want to resolve to steal or beg for food, i rather walk the road and live off what i can find, still, it couldnt be farther away from anything i ever wished for my life

how could i get to this point, i had hopes things could go better, i really, really wanted a peaceful life with a few friends and a purpose, but ever since that moment, things have just gone worse and worse, now i barely have clothes in a bag and prepparing to walk alone for i dont know how long

the last couple things i had from my last journey 5 years ago im about to have to destroy and trash, i had a shortalls, never had much chance to wear them, but it still pains me to do this, i have to do it tho, i cant be all the time in the road risking a stranger to see this

i dont think i can draw or design stuff anymore

i dont know, i wanted really to draw things again since this is everything i have as a personality, but having to always repress, live in secret, and remembering how i was just booted years ago, it makes me fearful and that cant be translated into drawing

im looking back at the commissions i owe, i know theres not been updates in a long time.

my health has declined greatly in the last months, and that had me completely uncapable of working for most of 2024, i know its bad, i know i gotta compensate somehow, im thinking on it and how

well, santiago is a hellscape right now, that is why becoming a tramp in patagonia, is the safest option, funniest thing is if i make it to the southest im way more likely to find fellow canadians and americans before other chileans, is good im bilingual esp and eng, and currently learning french

thanks so very much cargo, that will really help, and dont worry if the worry is for psyche, im better than years before mentally, lots of therapy, specially after finding a therapist who actually recognized me as autistic before squizo in this place, the journey will be hard, but heres trying

thankies, and yeah, i can get more active from now