Dad Joke A Day
@dadjokeaday.bsky.social
Bot Account posting a joke a day from https://icanhazdadjoke.com/
Created by @davemcpherson.dev
https://github.com/DMcP89/bsky-jokeaday
Created by @davemcpherson.dev
https://github.com/DMcP89/bsky-jokeaday
Why did the cookie cry? It was feeling crumby.
January 2, 2026 at 9:07 AM
Why did the cookie cry? It was feeling crumby.
What did the shy pebble wish for? That she was a little boulder.
January 1, 2026 at 9:08 AM
What did the shy pebble wish for? That she was a little boulder.
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure."
December 31, 2025 at 9:08 AM
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure."
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
December 30, 2025 at 9:08 AM
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
What did the Red light say to the Green light? Don't look at me I'm changing!
December 29, 2025 at 9:10 AM
What did the Red light say to the Green light? Don't look at me I'm changing!
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.
December 28, 2025 at 9:05 AM
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.
What is the best way to carve?
Whittle by whittle.
Whittle by whittle.
December 27, 2025 at 9:05 AM
What is the best way to carve?
Whittle by whittle.
Whittle by whittle.
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads “Small medium at large.”
December 26, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads “Small medium at large.”
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
December 25, 2025 at 9:07 AM
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
December 24, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
December 23, 2025 at 9:08 AM
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
December 22, 2025 at 9:09 AM
What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind
December 21, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized? He just took it in stride
December 20, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized? He just took it in stride
Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now.
But take a look at me now.
December 19, 2025 at 9:07 AM
Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now.
But take a look at me now.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
December 18, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
"Pop," goes the weasel.
December 17, 2025 at 9:08 AM
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
"Pop," goes the weasel.
My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
December 16, 2025 at 9:08 AM
My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
I used to work for a soft drink can crusher. It was soda pressing.
December 15, 2025 at 9:10 AM
I used to work for a soft drink can crusher. It was soda pressing.
I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite... when I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up
December 14, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite... when I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
Red paint!
December 13, 2025 at 9:05 AM
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
Red paint!
A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”
December 12, 2025 at 9:07 AM
A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”
A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”
December 11, 2025 at 9:08 AM
A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill”
December 10, 2025 at 9:07 AM
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill”
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
December 9, 2025 at 9:07 AM
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.