Dan Amira
@danamira.bsky.social
Head writer for The Daily Show
Just imagining one of the candidates being like "Uhh, maybe a parade where they walk backwards the whole time?" and it tanks their candidacy
Can't stop thinking about the question, "Are there any parades that don't exist that you think should?" By far the funniest thing ever asked at a debate.
October 18, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Just imagining one of the candidates being like "Uhh, maybe a parade where they walk backwards the whole time?" and it tanks their candidacy
Can't stop thinking about the question, "Are there any parades that don't exist that you think should?" By far the funniest thing ever asked at a debate.
October 18, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Can't stop thinking about the question, "Are there any parades that don't exist that you think should?" By far the funniest thing ever asked at a debate.
In Maine this is known as getting Milkshake Lobstered
Graham Platner asked why Black people ‘don’t tip’ and referenced rape in old Reddit posts
Article by: @themainemonitor.org
Article by: @themainemonitor.org
Graham Platner asked why Black people ‘don’t tip’ in Reddit posts
The Democratic U.S. Senate candidate posted to the online social media site Reddit more than 1,800 times between 2009 and 2021.
themainemonitor.org
October 17, 2025 at 11:13 PM
In Maine this is known as getting Milkshake Lobstered
If anyone doing a TikTok video has weird eyebrows that’s the only thing every comment is about
October 9, 2025 at 3:28 AM
If anyone doing a TikTok video has weird eyebrows that’s the only thing every comment is about
Jimmy Carter put his peanut farm in a blind trust
Huh. I wonder if this will help him “resolve a civil fraud case with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission ..”
🤡
@cnbc.com
www.cnbc.com/2025/07/11/t...
🤡
@cnbc.com
www.cnbc.com/2025/07/11/t...
July 12, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Jimmy Carter put his peanut farm in a blind trust
I can’t believe that in this whole giant bill nobody included an amendment that movie theaters have to have a little countdown clock in the corner when they’re playing trailers that shows how much time until the movie actually starts so you know if you have time for a last pee
July 2, 2025 at 1:29 AM
I can’t believe that in this whole giant bill nobody included an amendment that movie theaters have to have a little countdown clock in the corner when they’re playing trailers that shows how much time until the movie actually starts so you know if you have time for a last pee
Jerry — Lander
George — Cuomo
Elaine — Adrienne Adams
Kramer — supports Mamdani but not registered to vote
George — Cuomo
Elaine — Adrienne Adams
Kramer — supports Mamdani but not registered to vote
June 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Jerry — Lander
George — Cuomo
Elaine — Adrienne Adams
Kramer — supports Mamdani but not registered to vote
George — Cuomo
Elaine — Adrienne Adams
Kramer — supports Mamdani but not registered to vote
Whatever happens, and whatever you think of him, Zohran has run an incredible campaign that Democrats (or anyone) should learn from. This man was polling at 1% in February.
June 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Whatever happens, and whatever you think of him, Zohran has run an incredible campaign that Democrats (or anyone) should learn from. This man was polling at 1% in February.
Free idea for any mayoral candidate who wants it: when they play trailers at the movies there should be a little clock in the corner of the screen that tells you how much time is left until the movie actually starts so you know if you have time for a last pee
June 24, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Free idea for any mayoral candidate who wants it: when they play trailers at the movies there should be a little clock in the corner of the screen that tells you how much time is left until the movie actually starts so you know if you have time for a last pee
On the one hand, Trump has no right to do this, it's blatantly illegal, and it sets a precedent that undermines our system of government and the very rule of law.
On the other hand we all like Tiktok, so
On the other hand we all like Tiktok, so
Trump will extend TikTok sale deadline for third time, White House says reut.rs/45t508J
Trump will extend TikTok sale deadline for third time, White House says
U.S. President Donald Trump will extend a June 19 deadline for China-based ByteDance to divest the U.S. assets of short video app TikTok by 90 days despite a law that had mandated a sale or a shutdown absent significant progress, the White House said on Tuesday.
reut.rs
June 18, 2025 at 3:25 AM
On the one hand, Trump has no right to do this, it's blatantly illegal, and it sets a precedent that undermines our system of government and the very rule of law.
On the other hand we all like Tiktok, so
On the other hand we all like Tiktok, so
Gearing up to watch The Brutalist on Max on my phone half an hour at a time on 7 nonconsecutive nights spanning a total period of 3 to 4 weeks, as the filmmakers intended
June 2, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Gearing up to watch The Brutalist on Max on my phone half an hour at a time on 7 nonconsecutive nights spanning a total period of 3 to 4 weeks, as the filmmakers intended
In a mindset right now where there’s a logic to “All the Knicks need to do is win one at home, which should be doable, then one in Indiana which they did already so they’d probably win that, and then it’s game 7 at MSG, and that’s like, easy, so there’s a VERY high chance the Knicks make the Finals”
May 29, 2025 at 6:22 PM
In a mindset right now where there’s a logic to “All the Knicks need to do is win one at home, which should be doable, then one in Indiana which they did already so they’d probably win that, and then it’s game 7 at MSG, and that’s like, easy, so there’s a VERY high chance the Knicks make the Finals”
(pitching the idea for cars)
Everyone gets a “car.” Each “car” is 6000 lbs and will go 80 mph. If you accidentally steer your car one foot in the wrong direction everyone in your car will die. This will happen every day thousands of times. So that’s cars.
Everyone gets a “car.” Each “car” is 6000 lbs and will go 80 mph. If you accidentally steer your car one foot in the wrong direction everyone in your car will die. This will happen every day thousands of times. So that’s cars.
May 28, 2025 at 3:25 AM
(pitching the idea for cars)
Everyone gets a “car.” Each “car” is 6000 lbs and will go 80 mph. If you accidentally steer your car one foot in the wrong direction everyone in your car will die. This will happen every day thousands of times. So that’s cars.
Everyone gets a “car.” Each “car” is 6000 lbs and will go 80 mph. If you accidentally steer your car one foot in the wrong direction everyone in your car will die. This will happen every day thousands of times. So that’s cars.
If the Knicks could win the games they’re supposed to win, in addition to winning the games they’re supposed to lose, they would win all the games
May 26, 2025 at 3:13 AM
If the Knicks could win the games they’re supposed to win, in addition to winning the games they’re supposed to lose, they would win all the games
Landry Shamet had a team high +/- which is why I can almost guarantee you Thibs won’t let him see the floor in Game 4
May 26, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Landry Shamet had a team high +/- which is why I can almost guarantee you Thibs won’t let him see the floor in Game 4
Knicks up by 20: impending disaster
Knicks down by 20: unstoppable
Knicks down by 20: unstoppable
May 26, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Knicks up by 20: impending disaster
Knicks down by 20: unstoppable
Knicks down by 20: unstoppable
(Designing a hotel)
Okay this is a place where people come to sleep so the hallway should be blindingly bright and doors should slam loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Did you get the smoke detectors with the flashing green lights? Good, put them directly over the bed
Okay this is a place where people come to sleep so the hallway should be blindingly bright and doors should slam loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Did you get the smoke detectors with the flashing green lights? Good, put them directly over the bed
May 24, 2025 at 3:15 AM
(Designing a hotel)
Okay this is a place where people come to sleep so the hallway should be blindingly bright and doors should slam loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Did you get the smoke detectors with the flashing green lights? Good, put them directly over the bed
Okay this is a place where people come to sleep so the hallway should be blindingly bright and doors should slam loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Did you get the smoke detectors with the flashing green lights? Good, put them directly over the bed
Sinners (2025) -- Blues musicians, gangsters, and vampires discuss cunnilingus in 1932 Mississippi
May 5, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Sinners (2025) -- Blues musicians, gangsters, and vampires discuss cunnilingus in 1932 Mississippi
Biden: Here’s the world’s strongest economy, take good care of it. I’m gonna go fall asleep on the beach with my mouth open.
(three months later)
(three months later)
April 4, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Biden: Here’s the world’s strongest economy, take good care of it. I’m gonna go fall asleep on the beach with my mouth open.
(three months later)
(three months later)
(coming up with Disney World rides, 1961)
Exec: So far we’ve got “It’s a Small World.” Other ideas?
Walt Disney: Pirates. They’re torturing people in a seaside town.
Exec: We were thinking something about togetherness, or magic, or—
Walt Disney: Lots of implied sexual danger
Exec: So far we’ve got “It’s a Small World.” Other ideas?
Walt Disney: Pirates. They’re torturing people in a seaside town.
Exec: We were thinking something about togetherness, or magic, or—
Walt Disney: Lots of implied sexual danger
February 26, 2025 at 2:14 PM
(coming up with Disney World rides, 1961)
Exec: So far we’ve got “It’s a Small World.” Other ideas?
Walt Disney: Pirates. They’re torturing people in a seaside town.
Exec: We were thinking something about togetherness, or magic, or—
Walt Disney: Lots of implied sexual danger
Exec: So far we’ve got “It’s a Small World.” Other ideas?
Walt Disney: Pirates. They’re torturing people in a seaside town.
Exec: We were thinking something about togetherness, or magic, or—
Walt Disney: Lots of implied sexual danger
Do other superpowers fill their most important positions with deeply unqualified people or is this a case of American exceptionalism
January 25, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Do other superpowers fill their most important positions with deeply unqualified people or is this a case of American exceptionalism
Was there a deleted scene where they explain why he buttons his shirt like this
January 24, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Was there a deleted scene where they explain why he buttons his shirt like this
Wasn’t he supposed to do Epstein too? What happened to that? Maybe he forgot?
January 23, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Wasn’t he supposed to do Epstein too? What happened to that? Maybe he forgot?
Can someone explain like I’m
stupid (I am) why we can’t remove the malware that China has implanted into critical infrastructure www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/fbi...
stupid (I am) why we can’t remove the malware that China has implanted into critical infrastructure www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/fbi...
January 13, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Can someone explain like I’m
stupid (I am) why we can’t remove the malware that China has implanted into critical infrastructure www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/fbi...
stupid (I am) why we can’t remove the malware that China has implanted into critical infrastructure www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/fbi...
Kyle Lowry holding his hands up at 0:34 to block the ref’s view of Embiid losing his mind
Joel Embiid got called for charging, then got a tech for berating the ref, then got ejected for yelling at the refs and had to be held back from going after them
December 24, 2024 at 1:15 AM
Kyle Lowry holding his hands up at 0:34 to block the ref’s view of Embiid losing his mind