Dan Schwab
@danschwab.bsky.social
Blue AF for years.
Let's get started (again).
No DMs please,
except from Desi Lydic.
And even then, Desi... Keep it casual.
Let's get started (again).
No DMs please,
except from Desi Lydic.
And even then, Desi... Keep it casual.
Pinned
Dan Schwab
@danschwab.bsky.social
· Sep 10
I know this sounds insane, but I’ve got this letter I found years ago. It's a letter Jeffrey Epstein sent to Trump FROM PRISON.
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
Considering the Erica Kirk and Kid Rock shows, is Turning Point USA primarily a stage pyrotechnics company?
February 9, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Considering the Erica Kirk and Kid Rock shows, is Turning Point USA primarily a stage pyrotechnics company?
On a newscast this morn, I saw Kid Rock LIP-SYNCING badly to his own song and flailing around on Turning Point's stage with the grace of a gazelle that had been given gazelle meth.
So, I'll assume it went well?
So, I'll assume it went well?
February 9, 2026 at 1:15 PM
On a newscast this morn, I saw Kid Rock LIP-SYNCING badly to his own song and flailing around on Turning Point's stage with the grace of a gazelle that had been given gazelle meth.
So, I'll assume it went well?
So, I'll assume it went well?
Is it weird that kids are learning way below standard levels, are more & more dependent on iPads, and at the same time, Trump is talking about bringing back "asylums & sanitariums?"
February 8, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Is it weird that kids are learning way below standard levels, are more & more dependent on iPads, and at the same time, Trump is talking about bringing back "asylums & sanitariums?"
Performers are doing to Kid Rock's concert what Kid Rock's daddy should have done exactly one Kid Rock lifetime + 9 months ago.
Kid Rock’s ‘Rock the Country’ festival cancels South Carolina gig after multiple performers drop out
The Kid Rock-led “Rock the Country” music festival canceled the South Carolina stop on its tour as multiple marquee artists dropped out of the “politically charged” bash.
nypost.com
February 8, 2026 at 1:06 PM
Performers are doing to Kid Rock's concert what Kid Rock's daddy should have done exactly one Kid Rock lifetime + 9 months ago.
Performers are doing to Kid Rock's concert what Kid Rock's daddy should have done exactly one Kid Rock lifetime + 9 months ago.
February 8, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Performers are doing to Kid Rock's concert what Kid Rock's daddy should have done exactly one Kid Rock lifetime + 9 months ago.
Yep... we ARE the hottest country.
Dumpster fires are like that.
Dumpster fires are like that.
February 7, 2026 at 11:42 PM
Yep... we ARE the hottest country.
Dumpster fires are like that.
Dumpster fires are like that.
Bezos seems heartless for cutting his staff, but I hear he's passing along the savings by offering WaPo subscriptions at 1/3 off.
February 5, 2026 at 11:07 AM
Bezos seems heartless for cutting his staff, but I hear he's passing along the savings by offering WaPo subscriptions at 1/3 off.
Is there a Puppy Bowl this year, or did Kristi Noem have that event terminated?
February 3, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Is there a Puppy Bowl this year, or did Kristi Noem have that event terminated?
So much to be outraged about nowadays. And a company that eliminates watermarks being advertised on Facebook somehow makes the cut for me today.
(I added my own watermark)
(I added my own watermark)
February 3, 2026 at 2:01 PM
So much to be outraged about nowadays. And a company that eliminates watermarks being advertised on Facebook somehow makes the cut for me today.
(I added my own watermark)
(I added my own watermark)
40 years ago yesterday one of my fave eps of Steven Spielberg's "Amazing Stories" aired. A magical goblin tells a young Mark Hamill to hold onto his childhood treasures, never sell out, and one day he'd have it all. It was pretty inspirational for me.
Thanks, Steven, Mark and co-writer Stu Krieger!
Thanks, Steven, Mark and co-writer Stu Krieger!
February 3, 2026 at 12:32 PM
40 years ago yesterday one of my fave eps of Steven Spielberg's "Amazing Stories" aired. A magical goblin tells a young Mark Hamill to hold onto his childhood treasures, never sell out, and one day he'd have it all. It was pretty inspirational for me.
Thanks, Steven, Mark and co-writer Stu Krieger!
Thanks, Steven, Mark and co-writer Stu Krieger!
Nancy Guthrie's abduction is horrible, and legacy media seems to be super-stoked to finally cover an abduction that wasn't government-sanctioned.
February 3, 2026 at 12:03 PM
Nancy Guthrie's abduction is horrible, and legacy media seems to be super-stoked to finally cover an abduction that wasn't government-sanctioned.
Dear @huffpost.com
Please do not use headlines about MAGA Mike being "squeezed," because that leads to imagining what would be squeezed OUT of him.
Thank you for your attention to this splatter.
~DJS
Please do not use headlines about MAGA Mike being "squeezed," because that leads to imagining what would be squeezed OUT of him.
Thank you for your attention to this splatter.
~DJS
February 2, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Dear @huffpost.com
Please do not use headlines about MAGA Mike being "squeezed," because that leads to imagining what would be squeezed OUT of him.
Thank you for your attention to this splatter.
~DJS
Please do not use headlines about MAGA Mike being "squeezed," because that leads to imagining what would be squeezed OUT of him.
Thank you for your attention to this splatter.
~DJS
Can we bring Trump to his version of the "highest level of success"?
February 1, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Can we bring Trump to his version of the "highest level of success"?
Elon Musk says people are "trying to smear his name."
Is he not aware his name already looks like the taint-carriage of Steve Bannon's knickers after Chipotle?
Is he not aware his name already looks like the taint-carriage of Steve Bannon's knickers after Chipotle?
February 1, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Elon Musk says people are "trying to smear his name."
Is he not aware his name already looks like the taint-carriage of Steve Bannon's knickers after Chipotle?
Is he not aware his name already looks like the taint-carriage of Steve Bannon's knickers after Chipotle?
I never watched the finale of "Josie & the Pussycats in Outer Space."
Did they ever make it back, or did they die up there?
Did they ever make it back, or did they die up there?
February 1, 2026 at 1:28 PM
I never watched the finale of "Josie & the Pussycats in Outer Space."
Did they ever make it back, or did they die up there?
Did they ever make it back, or did they die up there?
Just a doodle. Not humor couched in anything, nor a subject that would need a cushioned blow.
January 31, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Just a doodle. Not humor couched in anything, nor a subject that would need a cushioned blow.
Eff you, @hankazaria.bsky.social and your writers on #Brockmire making that final season so damn prescient!!
January 30, 2026 at 5:29 PM
Eff you, @hankazaria.bsky.social and your writers on #Brockmire making that final season so damn prescient!!
Reposted by Dan Schwab
Dorothy Parker would be utterly aghast by the amount of fresh Hell we have brewing every morning in today's America.
January 27, 2026 at 12:23 PM
Dorothy Parker would be utterly aghast by the amount of fresh Hell we have brewing every morning in today's America.
Arrived at NRA HQ and ran to the conference room "Hey, 2nd Amendment guys! Guess what just happened in Minnesota?! You guys are gonna be so steamed...'
But inside, they were all, well... they were getting treaded on... HARD.
Treaded right to the point of orgasm. And they seemed to be loving it..."
But inside, they were all, well... they were getting treaded on... HARD.
Treaded right to the point of orgasm. And they seemed to be loving it..."
January 24, 2026 at 8:36 PM
Arrived at NRA HQ and ran to the conference room "Hey, 2nd Amendment guys! Guess what just happened in Minnesota?! You guys are gonna be so steamed...'
But inside, they were all, well... they were getting treaded on... HARD.
Treaded right to the point of orgasm. And they seemed to be loving it..."
But inside, they were all, well... they were getting treaded on... HARD.
Treaded right to the point of orgasm. And they seemed to be loving it..."
Hegseth having keys to the war machine makes me wonder if the war machine can have one of those breathalyzers to start it up.
January 23, 2026 at 5:33 PM
Hegseth having keys to the war machine makes me wonder if the war machine can have one of those breathalyzers to start it up.
I've been meaning to draw this up for a while now...
January 22, 2026 at 7:40 PM
I've been meaning to draw this up for a while now...
@bretterlich.bsky.social I kept meaning to follow you on here when I watch you on Damage Report. But now that you've professed your love for Howard the Duck and Hudson Hawk, you have a new fan in me.
January 20, 2026 at 8:17 PM
@bretterlich.bsky.social I kept meaning to follow you on here when I watch you on Damage Report. But now that you've professed your love for Howard the Duck and Hudson Hawk, you have a new fan in me.