Richard Schirmer
@darkwombat.bsky.social
Probable non-goblin. Most of what I do here involves having a laugh at comic book covers.
I love the idea of Spider-Man merch that makes tons and tons of money, none of which Peter will ever see. That’s the most Spider-Man thing ever.
December 8, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I love the idea of Spider-Man merch that makes tons and tons of money, none of which Peter will ever see. That’s the most Spider-Man thing ever.
He opened a grill full of radioactive pancakes. What did he expect?
December 7, 2025 at 1:32 AM
He opened a grill full of radioactive pancakes. What did he expect?
I have never seen someone look quite that disappointed before in my entire life.
December 6, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I have never seen someone look quite that disappointed before in my entire life.
Says someone who is definitely not already panicking.
December 5, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Says someone who is definitely not already panicking.
This has got to have happened more than once, and he absolutely should not look so surprised.
December 3, 2025 at 11:16 PM
This has got to have happened more than once, and he absolutely should not look so surprised.
Yeah, that silhouetted body shape definitely screams “hapless” to me.
December 3, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Yeah, that silhouetted body shape definitely screams “hapless” to me.
I’m not sure that catnip would be the first thing I’d think to try in this situation, but it seems to be working for this guy. That’s assuming this was his desired outcome, at least.
December 1, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I’m not sure that catnip would be the first thing I’d think to try in this situation, but it seems to be working for this guy. That’s assuming this was his desired outcome, at least.
If you see Batman making this face, sit back and relax, because you are already doomed, and it’s already far, far too late to run.
December 1, 2025 at 12:26 AM
If you see Batman making this face, sit back and relax, because you are already doomed, and it’s already far, far too late to run.
Quick, someone get that man a list!
November 29, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Quick, someone get that man a list!
They will, in fact, settle most matters. Sure, they cause a few, but, you know, radioactive omelets, radioactive eggs, and all that.
November 28, 2025 at 11:24 PM
They will, in fact, settle most matters. Sure, they cause a few, but, you know, radioactive omelets, radioactive eggs, and all that.
…did he forget he can fly?
November 27, 2025 at 10:54 PM
…did he forget he can fly?
“Kids…hey, kids. Hi. My shield’s pretty cool. Does anyone wanna…Hey! Who wants to hold my shield? Huh? Huh? It’s pretty cool! Doesn’t vibranium sound cooler than uru? Anyone?”
November 26, 2025 at 11:27 PM
“Kids…hey, kids. Hi. My shield’s pretty cool. Does anyone wanna…Hey! Who wants to hold my shield? Huh? Huh? It’s pretty cool! Doesn’t vibranium sound cooler than uru? Anyone?”
That has got to be an unhealthy dose of some sort of radiation in that steak there.
November 25, 2025 at 11:33 PM
That has got to be an unhealthy dose of some sort of radiation in that steak there.
Well, at least his costume doesn’t take up much closet space.
November 25, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Well, at least his costume doesn’t take up much closet space.
I am getting some weird foreshortening issues with that green hand. Maybe he’s just got massive hands and a normal sized body. That sounds like more of a hinderance than a power, honestly.
November 23, 2025 at 9:56 PM
I am getting some weird foreshortening issues with that green hand. Maybe he’s just got massive hands and a normal sized body. That sounds like more of a hinderance than a power, honestly.
My dude, m’dude, if that’s the case, I think other people might notice. You’re gonna need a reaction somewhere lower than a ten out of ten on the scale, or you’re going to be a very, very busy golem.
November 22, 2025 at 11:17 PM
My dude, m’dude, if that’s the case, I think other people might notice. You’re gonna need a reaction somewhere lower than a ten out of ten on the scale, or you’re going to be a very, very busy golem.
How does your head move in the opposite direction of the slap like that?
November 22, 2025 at 1:28 AM
How does your head move in the opposite direction of the slap like that?
I mean, it’s a pretty complex and nuanced idea.
November 21, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I mean, it’s a pretty complex and nuanced idea.
Classic elevator problems. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten out on the third floor to find that everyone’s made of protoplasm. It’s tiresome, really.
November 19, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Classic elevator problems. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten out on the third floor to find that everyone’s made of protoplasm. It’s tiresome, really.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that they already know that.
November 19, 2025 at 1:06 AM
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that they already know that.
It’s sadly not common knowledge that train bathrooms used to contain explanation stations. I’d gladly tell you why, but then we’d have to find an old train first.
November 16, 2025 at 11:12 PM
It’s sadly not common knowledge that train bathrooms used to contain explanation stations. I’d gladly tell you why, but then we’d have to find an old train first.
I have no words. That face…
November 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I have no words. That face…
