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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me
@davidfisher.bsky.social
94 followers 24 following 570 posts
I struggle to characterize myself with sincerity
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · Nov 15
My goal on this platform is to not form any parasocial relationships. Let me know if you're aware of anyone who has good advice on that subject. Or just anything interesting to say. And if you think they'd like to be my friend.
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 19h
Girth is wasted on the hung
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 4d
I was going to make some joke about some famously dedicated figure in science or the humanities saying this, but there's way too many options. Daniel Webster, Melville Dewey, Gregory Mendel, that lady who taped every episode of the news for two decades
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 5d
She's kinda the exact opposite of this guy, a horrifyingly evil sorcerer who can only do adorable magic:
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 5d
This is not something I generally have reason to say, but that comparison is way too mean to Hitler
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 5d
Same cadence as "Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!"
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 10d
Skepticism is healthy - I would argue not accepting new ideas until they've had a chance to be thoroughly tested and confirmed is critically important for society. But I don't expect you to believe that just because I said so.
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 14d
A bowel movement, crap, defecation, a deuce, diarrhoea, droppings, a dump, dung, excrement, excreta, fecal matter, feces, frass, guano, leavings, Hershey squirts, manure, poo, poop, poopie, poopoo, the runs, scat, shit, turds, waste
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 14d
Wait, come back, I haven't yet told you about paying a monthly subscription to unlock your microwave
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 14d
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 20d
Aragorn: YOU HEARD THE LADY, BOYS, HAVE AT
10,000 Dead Men of Dunharrow: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 20d
Aragorn: Listen, I'm a little worn out from doing king stuff tonight, do you mind if I...
Arwen: ...tag in an army of ghosts again to finish me off? I honestly prefer it at this point.
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 20d
Like a video game with a well-calibrated challenge level, there's an ideal ratio of horrifying shit that warrants an automatic block - it can't be too much, like current Twitter, but if there's none, it doesn't feel like you're doing anything.
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 20d
Vuvuzelas: putting the "kazoo" back in "Shaka Zulu"
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 20d
Thanks!
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
I can't believe I never thought of THE LIVESTREAM OF ANNE FRANK as either A. a sketch premise or B. a real situation this dumbest of all timelines would inevitably produce
unraveledpress.com unraveled @unraveledpress.com · 22d
Thinking about how much of their violence has been normalized already, how scenes that caused shockwaves 6 weeks ago are now part of the rhythm of daily life. Watched a TikTok from a daughter who has to do her parents' laundry & get their groceries because they're in hiding. This is just it now
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
So, 47 homes per acre? Is that a lot or a little? What would be a good rule of thumb?
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
There should be a book that's just all the characters from every other book going to the bathroom, brushing their teeth, listening to podcasts and all the other stuff they do when the reader isn't looking.
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
When two people are having sex on a bed, does the monster under the bed know what's going up there? Is it freaked out by the shaking? Or is it maybe into it? If so, does its presence technically make it a three-way?
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 21d
Did Duncan Hunter ever manage to track down and kill a SINGLE Duncan?
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 22d
Why don't people just go through the Jaunt sideways. Just scootch through, now my left half is on Mars, right half still on Earth, no senseless abyss of infinite featureless time in between, little more scootching, now I'm all on Mars, no madness bourne of eternal nothingness, no problem.
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 22d
A breezily irreverent take on the Orientalist desert romance subgenre of bodice-ripper, parodic (but surprisingly hardcore):

TONGUE IN SHEIKH
davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 22d
[whump whump whump] This thing on?
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 24d
That is a valid use of "ejaculate." People tend not to use it that way these days because of the sexual meaning, but in old-timey writing people are ejaculating all over the place.
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davidfisher.bsky.social
Me @davidfisher.bsky.social · 25d
I remember thinking about how Agent Smith insists on referring to Keanu Reeves' character as the trebly masculine "Mr. Anderson," long after he's otherwise known only as Neo - despite the respect implied lexically, it's clearly intended as a show of disrespect/aggression. No thoughts beyond that.
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