David Volk
@davidvolk.bsky.social
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Coming home from vacation can be a real come down, especially when they take the breakfast bar away. medium.com/the-haven/an...
An Open Letter To My Life
What happened to the breakfast buffet?
medium.com
October 29, 2025 at 7:33 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Coming home from vacation can be a real come down, especially when they take the breakfast bar away. medium.com/the-haven/an...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Peter is back but everyone else is gone. And he’s worried. It might be a good thing, it might not. medium.com/the-haven/pe...
Petey Is Back…And He’s Worried
Halloween is here and things are not right
medium.com
October 27, 2025 at 6:08 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Peter is back but everyone else is gone. And he’s worried. It might be a good thing, it might not. medium.com/the-haven/pe...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: It’s the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashana and I’m trying to be kind and not say anything bad any body, but certain people are making it difficult. davidvolk1.medium.com/im-trying-no...
I’m Trying Not to Snark
But man, is it difficult
davidvolk1.medium.com
September 24, 2025 at 5:17 AM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: It’s the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashana and I’m trying to be kind and not say anything bad any body, but certain people are making it difficult. davidvolk1.medium.com/im-trying-no...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: They may not appear on any recruiting poster, but FBI agents are suddenly discovering they have a whole new set of duties, most of them having nothing to do with law keeping...violating it, yes. Enforcement, not so much. [https://medium.com/.../agents-go-from-g-men-to-errand...]
August 14, 2025 at 4:31 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: They may not appear on any recruiting poster, but FBI agents are suddenly discovering they have a whole new set of duties, most of them having nothing to do with law keeping...violating it, yes. Enforcement, not so much. [https://medium.com/.../agents-go-from-g-men-to-errand...]
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Sometimes you are the change you need. In this case, I wanted a soda but couldn't get the change that I needed. medium.com/doctor-funny...
Change Is Hard to Come by When You Don’t Understand Math
Today isn’t the day you get to be the change you were looking for
medium.com
July 1, 2025 at 6:14 AM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Sometimes you are the change you need. In this case, I wanted a soda but couldn't get the change that I needed. medium.com/doctor-funny...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: As I sit here watching people fill the stands at my kid’s graduation, I’m already impressed with how many more people are waiting to get in than attended Trump’s sad party this weekend. Here’s why his turnout sucked. medium.com/the-haven/to...
Top Reasons Trump Turnout Sucked
What Happens When You Give A Party And No One Attends?
medium.com
June 17, 2025 at 11:47 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: As I sit here watching people fill the stands at my kid’s graduation, I’m already impressed with how many more people are waiting to get in than attended Trump’s sad party this weekend. Here’s why his turnout sucked. medium.com/the-haven/to...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Top reasons the troops should stay in LA. medium.com/the-haven/to...
Top Signs LA Is (Not) Still On Fire
Coming Soon To A Liberal City Near You
medium.com
June 13, 2025 at 7:04 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Top reasons the troops should stay in LA. medium.com/the-haven/to...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: In this age of Costco sized consumption, I ponder an existential crisis brought about by plastic wrap. medium.com/the-haven/is...
Is It Time For Me To Wrap It Up?
Just One Word, Benjamin: Plastics.
medium.com
May 30, 2025 at 1:58 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: In this age of Costco sized consumption, I ponder an existential crisis brought about by plastic wrap. medium.com/the-haven/is...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: when something goes wrong in the Trump administration, have you ever wondered who’s to blame. This handy guide will tell you. medium.com/the-haven/tr...
Trump’s Circle Of Blame
Where The Buck Never Stops
medium.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:22 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: when something goes wrong in the Trump administration, have you ever wondered who’s to blame. This handy guide will tell you. medium.com/the-haven/tr...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I love Costco’s DEI policies. Now if they could just do something about the cart driving problem…… medium.com/the-haven/to...
Top Signs Costco Should Require Cart Driving Licenses
Five Cart Pile Up On Aisle 7.
medium.com
May 22, 2025 at 7:36 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I love Costco’s DEI policies. Now if they could just do something about the cart driving problem…… medium.com/the-haven/to...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Although it seemed like the cardinals chose a new pope quickly, the truth is they already knew who they wanted. They just had to wait until he chose an acceptable name. Here are some of the names they rejected before they settled on Leo. medium.com/the-haven/ho...
Holy Nope: Top Rejected Pope Names
The Real Reason It Took So Long To Choose A Pope.
medium.com
May 14, 2025 at 4:07 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Although it seemed like the cardinals chose a new pope quickly, the truth is they already knew who they wanted. They just had to wait until he chose an acceptable name. Here are some of the names they rejected before they settled on Leo. medium.com/the-haven/ho...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I knew the promise of a political protest in the form of a conga line this weekend sounded too good to be true, but I went anyway and ended up being led by a narwhal and meeting a woman who could knit while walking. medium.com/the-haven/wh...
What Happened To The Conga Line I Was Promised?
Scenes From A Weekend Protest
medium.com
April 23, 2025 at 3:56 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I knew the promise of a political protest in the form of a conga line this weekend sounded too good to be true, but I went anyway and ended up being led by a narwhal and meeting a woman who could knit while walking. medium.com/the-haven/wh...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: In case you missed it, Trump announced he was just kidding. On April 1st. medium.com/the-haven/tr...
Trump Says He’s Just Kidding
It’s All Been An Extended Hoax, He Claims.
medium.com
April 2, 2025 at 3:58 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: In case you missed it, Trump announced he was just kidding. On April 1st. medium.com/the-haven/tr...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I write a letter to Donald Trump in which I ask a very important question. (Hint: Tim Walz was right.) medium.com/the-haven/an...
An Open Letter to (P)resident Trump
Dear Baby-Man,
medium.com
March 24, 2025 at 3:04 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I write a letter to Donald Trump in which I ask a very important question. (Hint: Tim Walz was right.) medium.com/the-haven/an...
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: I'm proud to announce that I've finally come up with my very own catch phrase, even if it doesn't have quite the oomph that I wanted. Still, it suits every purpose. Find out what it is and why in today's post.
medium.com/the-haven/we...
medium.com/the-haven/we...
Well, That Was Something
If You Catch My Drift
medium.com
March 16, 2025 at 11:35 PM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: I'm proud to announce that I've finally come up with my very own catch phrase, even if it doesn't have quite the oomph that I wanted. Still, it suits every purpose. Find out what it is and why in today's post.
medium.com/the-haven/we...
medium.com/the-haven/we...
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Look, corporate leaders, I get it when you have to change policies and raise prices. I just don't know why you want me to be excited about it. medium.com/the-haven/co...
Congratulations! You Now Pay More
Aren’t You Excited?
medium.com
February 27, 2025 at 3:24 PM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Look, corporate leaders, I get it when you have to change policies and raise prices. I just don't know why you want me to be excited about it. medium.com/the-haven/co...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I guess not even New Yorkers understand me. davidvolk1.medium.com/is-it-me-or-...
Is It Me Or Is It New York?
My Excuse That I’m An Easterner Doesn’t Work Here.
davidvolk1.medium.com
February 26, 2025 at 10:41 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: I guess not even New Yorkers understand me. davidvolk1.medium.com/is-it-me-or-...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: This funny Cheap Bastard deal will help you prepare for the day when a natural disaster strikes and the Trump administration sends….absolutely nobody because they don’t have their s@&t together. medium.com/the-haven/pr...
Prepare For Societal Breakdown, Save Money
It’s The Ultimate Bargain
medium.com
February 15, 2025 at 7:27 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: This funny Cheap Bastard deal will help you prepare for the day when a natural disaster strikes and the Trump administration sends….absolutely nobody because they don’t have their s@&t together. medium.com/the-haven/pr...
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Finally, a post that dares ask and answer the question, what the hell is up with the Republicons. medium.com/the-haven/ar...
Are Republicons Autistic?
When I Look At Their Behavior, I Wonder….
medium.com
February 12, 2025 at 6:56 AM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Finally, a post that dares ask and answer the question, what the hell is up with the Republicons. medium.com/the-haven/ar...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Today's Cheap Bastard Deal really sucks...or slurps, as the case may be....because it's the key to surviving this Trumpian hellscape by getting FREE SLURPEES every Friday this month. medium.com/the-haven/en...
Enjoy A Deal That Really Sucks
And Get A Free Slurpee At 7-Eleven
medium.com
February 8, 2025 at 12:25 AM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: Today's Cheap Bastard Deal really sucks...or slurps, as the case may be....because it's the key to surviving this Trumpian hellscape by getting FREE SLURPEES every Friday this month. medium.com/the-haven/en...
NEW HUMOR ALERT: The Cheap Bastard is stunned that you're still here, but if you were too stubborn to leave, I've got a (funny) bread deal that will save you a lot of bread. It just sounds expensive. medium.com/the-haven/sa...
Save Bread On Bread By Making Bread
Because Trump Sure Won’t Do It.
medium.com
January 23, 2025 at 5:40 PM
NEW HUMOR ALERT: The Cheap Bastard is stunned that you're still here, but if you were too stubborn to leave, I've got a (funny) bread deal that will save you a lot of bread. It just sounds expensive. medium.com/the-haven/sa...
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Hollywood's famous rescue canine says she's turning her back on Timmy, getting out of the rescue business and plans to drop her call for a law to increase well safety. medium.com/the-haven/la...
Lassie Calls It Quits
And Says Timmy Can Clean Up His Own Damn Mess
medium.com
January 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: Hollywood's famous rescue canine says she's turning her back on Timmy, getting out of the rescue business and plans to drop her call for a law to increase well safety. medium.com/the-haven/la...
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: I get it. Trump is about to start his second term, he's nominated the worst cabinet ever, rights are being rolled back left and right and the tariffs are coming, the tariffs are coming. But at least we can still laugh. youtu.be/9V0On_wzSfE
How To Not Be Depressed Today
YouTube video by David Volk
youtu.be
January 15, 2025 at 7:04 PM
NEW AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: I get it. Trump is about to start his second term, he's nominated the worst cabinet ever, rights are being rolled back left and right and the tariffs are coming, the tariffs are coming. But at least we can still laugh. youtu.be/9V0On_wzSfE
NEW PROJECT 2025 AUDIO HUMOR: If the Heritage Foundation has its way once Trump takes office you should expect National Public Radio to take it in the shorts. And I'm not talking about Will Shortz, if you catch my drift. davidvolk1.medium.com/project-2025...
Project 2025 Wants Revenge On NPR
Morning Edition Could Take It In The Shortz.
davidvolk1.medium.com
January 14, 2025 at 5:01 PM
NEW PROJECT 2025 AUDIO HUMOR: If the Heritage Foundation has its way once Trump takes office you should expect National Public Radio to take it in the shorts. And I'm not talking about Will Shortz, if you catch my drift. davidvolk1.medium.com/project-2025...
NEW PROJECT 2025 AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: One of the dumbest Star Wars characters ever protects us from some of the dumbest political ideas ever. Or is it the other way around? davidvolk1.medium.com/project-2025...
Project 2025 Protects Us From Jar Jar Binks
And Other Threats That Don’t Exist.
davidvolk1.medium.com
January 9, 2025 at 4:25 PM
NEW PROJECT 2025 AUDIO HUMOR ALERT: One of the dumbest Star Wars characters ever protects us from some of the dumbest political ideas ever. Or is it the other way around? davidvolk1.medium.com/project-2025...