DARK NET DOUBLES. 😂😂

Me after successfully uncloging the weed pen

😂😂

But when I begin narrating the average goings on in my life, like, "Oh, yeah! There's that extreme cum shot video I received a few weeks ago..."

I have to laugh at myself.

It's like the law. 😅 😂 🧵

For some men, that "secret" sexual playfulness might be the only real connection they have with themself... and that's always very sad.

I don't prefer to believe that anything about the situation is shameful for anyone. 🧵

It's a call back to a boy child, wanting his mother to be impressed with how fast he can go, or how high he can jump.

The teenage boy, trying to impress a girl in the dumbest way possible.

And a man who is getting older, but still holding onto something playful within himself. 🧵

But it's like watching a man do some kind of fun/weird self-endurance test, and SO MANY MEN I've met play with their sexuality in unique ways like this.

It's a very 'immature' trait, in a way, but that's kind of what's precious about it. 🧵

Anyway, it was a video a man painstakingly made to shoot three loads of his own cum into his mouth...

I did not ask him to, and honestly, the thought of it is one of those things that I'm fascinated by, but the empathy I feel for the situation is a bit too extreme to enjoy it, personally... 🧵

And the truth was, I was often NOT putting myself out there in that way.

I've often been too afraid to.

But I've been getting used to that reality, and re-shaping it over the last couple of years. 🧵

And I appreciate it all very deeply, sincerely.

But I've also been a bit uncomfortable receiving affection historically... so I often worry that I appear ungrateful.

Because I realize that it takes quite a lot to put yourself out there like that... 🧵

I began thinking about how cute it is that people tend to present you with offerings when they are trying to express their feelings.

And they come in so many different forms!

I've been the recipient of poetry, songs, portraits, dedications, and no end of custom porn... 🧵

Okay. So here's what it was. 😂

I was scrolling through my recently saved photos (the last month or so), and I saw the cover for a video I'd saved.

A gift.

An offering from a potential suitor.

And I began thinking...

#ThoughtJournalAfterDark ? 😆

It’s like I’m asking myself:

“What are the things I want to rant about that I haven’t because I didn’t think they would fit the scope my other work needs to have?”

I am equal parts excited and concerned. 😂

Honestly, I went my whole life being incredibly efficient in filtering my responses through my higher self.

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with lighter filters.

I’m still controlled, but I can’t deny how much more efficient it is for me & everyone else when I let it fall sharp.

#ThoughtJournal