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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 13h

Since we already have the concept of “citizen’s arrest,” we should also allow for “citizen’s pardons.” Like, hey, my friend Lisa got a ticket for parking one half-inch over the painted line and that’s not right so as a citizen I hereby declare her $125 fine null and void.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 1d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

“Final edits due today.”

Cam Walker @walks30.bsky.social · 1d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

“Hired, tired, wired, fired.”

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 6d

Schlittler will get it done.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 7d

I think I’m really good at having Imposter Syndrome, but maybe I’m really not and it‘s just the Dunning-Kruger effect.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 11d

Pro tip: Murphy’s Oil Soap is *not* a good substitute for shower gel. Unless you want to be really shiny and smell like a gymnasium floor.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · 13d

I’m cradling one of my cats and singing “I Stole an F-16” to her like a lullaby, if anyone is wondering how I’m doing mentally today.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 15

I think the reason I haven’t been able to sleep lately is that ghost in my room who plays the accordion all night.

It’s true – I think I have a polkageist.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 10

Sometimes I look at my dog and wonder if they know how lucky they are to never have to use an authenticator app to get a code to log into a different app that they were just logged into eight minutes ago.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 7

Happy "First Sunday of American Tightpants Sportsball" to all who celebrate.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 5

I got out of bed without crying today so I think I deserve a lil treat

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 4

I accidentally got colored chalk on my shirt. Three minutes later FDOT showed up and sprayed me down with a power washer.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Sep 4

Knowing that most if not all of my professional writer friends are far more prolific and successful than I am is actually a Good Thing, because getting to interact with people at the top of the craft helps to make me better at it as well. Or at least is inspiration to try a little harder each day.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 27

I would submit that it is one of the top albums of the 21st century to date.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 27

You guys I already got the air fryer for Taylor and Travis off their Target registry so you're gonna have to get them something else.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 25

If you tell me we're going out to "sample the local spirits," you'd better be very specific as to whether we're drinking whiskies or going on a ghost tour. Because buddy I've been disappointed in both directions with that offer.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 24

Some of you never had to spend your childhood listening to old Tom Carvel pitch his Cookie Puss cakes on WPIX and it shows.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 20

Post Grape-Nut clarity

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 18

Hallmark is charging like $7 for a card now and there’s no way I’m paying that. I guess I'm just gonna write ”sorry your whole family died in that gruesome plane crash and were cannibalized by the survivors” on an index card and stick it in my friend’s mailbox. I’ll draw a flower on it or something.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 15

It's also where we keep our Strategic Reindeer Reserves.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 14

Me: hey I need you to print this document.
My printer: yeah I’ll think about it.
Me: and print it double-sided.
Printer: ““pRiNt iT DoUbLe sIdEd” omg you’re so needy.
Me: would it help if I said “please?”
Printer: [ network connection lost ]

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 13

Increase a band: My Chemical Marriage

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 13

Guess what? Bee butt.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 11

Write.

Rewrite. Rewrite. Rewrite. Rewrite. Rest.

Revisit. Rewrite. Rewrite. Rewrite.

Assess. Rewrite. Rewrite. Submit. Move on.

Write...

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 10

I just shaved my face and head for the first time in six days and it looks like I slaughtered an Ewok in my shower.

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Tony Delgrosso @delgrosso.bsky.social · Aug 10

My favorite iPhone feature has the be the one where the front camera automatically shows me at my worst possible angle every time I open it.

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