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https://derkoolschrank.com/

@derkoolschrank.bsky.social

18K followers 27K following 12K posts

The world's leading Surrealist newspaper. Comprised of investigative journalists, writers and poets from around the globe. Major articles are linked to our online publication/website.

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https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 2h

Drinking Botox is extremely dangerous and can cause widespread and severe muscle paralysis. Botulinum neurotoxin paralysis can spread from the head to the arms, legs, and torso.
Excellent routine, Pete!

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 2h

"We're gonna need smaller soldiers"

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 2h

But he was the founder of Ohio's capital city. For that, Queen Isabella had him imprisoned and ass-whipped upon his return to Spain.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 2h

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https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 3h

Drinking Botox is extremely dangerous and can cause progressive muscle paralysis. Beginning with widespread muscle weakness, botulinum neurotoxin paralysis can spread from the head to the arms, legs, and torso.
In lay terms: Excellent routine! Keep it up, Pete!

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 3h

Heck

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 3h

😄

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https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 3h

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 4h

Calavera Kitty Hello

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 4h

Perhaps they don't speak English.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 5h

"..by breaking off diplomatic relations and imposing sanctions against the US of the caliber that has been set against the Russian Federation. It is up to the world to lay the full charge of human rights outrages before the United Nations on behalf of its own, and America’s, citizens."
-8/1/25, D.K.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 6h

You can't marry Brooks if you're still hitched to Al.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 6h

Try screaming orders to him in Russian.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 7h

In the US Thanksgiving is likewise unconnected to the man who discovered Ohio. The holiday is to celebrate the cannibalistic culture of the turkeys who live and vote there.

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 7h

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 8h

That was his 1st impeachment -for deliberately not doing what Congress had allocated funds for- and instead trying to blackmail Ukraine for fake compromat. Article here on how bad it got:
derkoolschrank.com/keeping-thin...

KEEPING THINGS CLASSYFIED

KEEPING THINGS CLASSYFIED September 14, 2022 -Durt FiboIn our artistic reconstruction, the balloon says “Another prank call!” As top secret documents disappear, reappear, are confiscated then sealed l...

derkoolschrank.com

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 8h

He likely needn't fear the anti-wabbit halftime show to be held by Turning Point USA

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 8h

The brown-handed Bondi is only qualified in extortion.

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https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 8h

Better than "Alas poor Yorick" !

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 8h

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 9h

We didn't make this one...it was floating around

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 10h

Some fat ass dude

https://derkoolschrank.com/ @derkoolschrank.bsky.social · 11h