Divyaswor Makai
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divyaswor.bsky.social
Divyaswor Makai
@divyaswor.bsky.social
Full stack developer. Dad jokes.

Remote work is the future. OPEN TO COLLABORATE.

I am not that active anywhere, but you can still check out my profiles.
https://www.divyaswormakai.com

Most of the posts are jokes.
What do you call a small mother?

A minimum.
January 21, 2025 at 3:05 PM
What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist, and Vlad the Impaler have in common?

Same middle name.
January 21, 2025 at 2:05 PM
What's the difference between a politician and a pig?

They're spelled different.
January 21, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was odd.
January 21, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Why would a future pornstar end up being on the cover of her high school yearbook?

She was voted Most Likely To Suck Seed
January 21, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Why do Catholics smell so good?

Because of all the popery.
January 21, 2025 at 10:05 AM
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does,

please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
January 21, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Orion's Belt isn't all that great.

It's just a huge waist of space.
January 21, 2025 at 8:05 AM
I used to have a stepladder at my job, but it disappeared.

Just like my real ladder.
January 21, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Have you guys heard the latest scandal that Musk misappropriated Tesla funds to pay for penis enlargement surgery?

The press is calling it Elongate.
January 21, 2025 at 6:05 AM
In communist China, government tell you what can and can't say.

In capitalist America, government decide what corporation tell you what you can and can't say.
January 21, 2025 at 5:05 AM
My boss calls me a “the computer”

because I fall asleep when unattended after 15 minutes.
January 21, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Why is Dwayne Johnson the only man who can turn lesbians?

Because Rock beats scissors
January 21, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Why does America not use the metric system?

Because they have a foot fetish.
January 21, 2025 at 2:05 AM
So a pasta salesman walks up to a pimp and tries to trade product for sex. He says...

"Penne for your thots?"
January 21, 2025 at 1:05 AM
When I was interviewed for a job, I was told I would start at $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I’d get $2,500 a month.

I told her I would start in six months.
January 21, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Me and another cook were in a heated debate about how our new salad should be presented.

We got fired for chopping it up.
January 20, 2025 at 11:05 PM
I asked my friend why he only wore his N95 in church.

He said that his doctor had told him to wear his mask religiously.
January 20, 2025 at 10:05 PM
How did the burglar enter the house?

He got intruda-window.
January 20, 2025 at 9:05 PM
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. I said…

That would be a big step forward.
January 20, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I used to confuse orgasm and organic.

But now the difference comes naturally.
January 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Relationships are like algebra.

Sometimes I’ll look at the X and wonder Y.
January 20, 2025 at 6:05 PM
What has ears but never listens?

A corn field…….
January 20, 2025 at 5:05 PM
The government decided to phase out coins in our currency today.

This country just has no cents anymore.
January 20, 2025 at 4:05 PM
My doctor told me to put an end to drinking brake fluid

I told him I can stop anytime
January 20, 2025 at 3:05 PM