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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 19h

'Frankness' compels me to admit that 'the sex instinct' is perhaps my most dominating 'compulsion.'

Reposted by Citan Uzuki

Quality Tifa Content @qualitytifacontent.bsky.social · 1d

although tifa is famously reluctant to license her iconic appearance, she did make an exception for hanna-barbera's ANTIFA GIRLFRIEND. "i have always been fascinated by social insects," she explained. "unfortunately, the show didn't capture the subtleties of myrmecology to the degree I had hoped."

ANTIFA GIRLFRIEND ran for 30 episodes between september 1961 and april 1962. in an interview, tifa explained that she had envisioned the show as "an exploration of ant courtship: what pheromones, for example, are involved? is trophallaxis considered romantic? there are so many fascinating questions." she was, however, disappointed to find that every episode was "in fact just a succession of lame jokes." nevertheless, ANTIFA GIRLFRIEND maintains a cult following even today.

we at quality tifa content believe in the use of "hash tags" to further our "reach." therefore:

#tifa
#antifa
#girlfriend
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#hannabarbera
#ants
#myrmecology
#trophallaxis
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#qualitytifacontent
#tifalockhart

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 1d

You do not play 'Xenogears' to 'have fun.' You play 'Xenogears' to 'PRAY' at 'THE CHURCH OF YOUR SOUL.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 2d

I love to use 'the F-word' ('fuck'). Many of you are too uptight to understand that. You think you're so 'hip,' that you're not like 'your parents,' that you're 'open-minded' and 'accepting.' But you work for 'the man,' and you don't say 'fuck' ('the F-word').

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 3d

Life without 'Xenogears' isn't living at all. That's the thing about life: it has to be lived, and 'the kids' understand this, and they're out there living 'it' (life), but you? You aren't living. And me, am I living? Of course I am. I'm living life. And so are 'the kids.' Why? Because that's life.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 4d

Why, the solution is quite simple: 'break off' the 'engagement.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 5d

Oh, I’ve been to 'Costco' a 'number' of times. It’s not like I’m completely inexperienced.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 6d

'Anime babes'? Not too long ago I dreamed I 'had sex with' a 'dead one' ('Aerith' [sic]). She was 'alive' in the dream though.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 6d

I'm trying to think of a way to describe how 'shitty' 'Kingdom Hearts' is but I'm having trouble. Essentially, however, it is not unlike 'shit' dipped in 'shit' and then put on top of 'shit' to melt into a pool of 'shit' that is then poured over your head while you are neck deep in 'a pile of shit.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 7d

Simply put, my 'perspective' regarding the '
flat Earth is that I'm not in the cult that thinks we're on some spinning, flying 'space ball.' Now, as for what Earth actually 'is' and 'all that,' and to what 'depths' it goes, that's all yet to be discovered and people are working on 'those things.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 8d

'The Adventures of MC Skat Kat' stands as the 'least essential album' ever recorded by a 'sassy animated cartoon feline,' surpassing even Garfield's 1991 release 'Am I Cool or What?'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 9d

How often do I listen to that ‘absolute banger’ of a song “Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict”? Not as often as you might assume. I am not particularly ‘susceptible’ to ‘songs.’

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 10d

'My dong,' Elly, is 'extra heavy,' and has a 'unique power' that no other 'wood' possesses.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 11d

When a company 'fucks' me, I simply 'email them' every '10 seconds' from 'multiple addresses.' The 'absolute scum' at the (fittingly-named) 'Ooze Life' tried telling me my 'dabs device' was 'fine' after I 'sent it in' . . . well, 822 emails in 5 minutes got me a 'different attitude' very quickly.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 12d

If you're going to feel sorry for anyone, it should be for geniuses like me. I know everything, l've been everywhere, I've 'fucked' 'everyone in the world,' and I've done countless 'things' that 'matter.' Now I'm bored. You know who ACTUALLY has it good? Idiots, for whom life is a wonderful mystery.

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 13d

One does not 'marry' 'Helen' or 'Semiramis' or 'Tifa Lockhart.' One 'commits suicide for her.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 14d

In 'my generation' of 'millennials' there's nobody (with the exception of 'me') who can be called a 'public intellectual.'

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Reposted by Citan Uzuki

Quality Tifa Content @qualitytifacontent.bsky.social · 15d

some would say that to add a videogame character to BORN TO DIE WORLD IS A FUCK is to take something whose appeal is its arbitrary ineffability and corral it into a limited, supremely effable set of signifiers that only say "I like this thing." ordinarily we would agree. but tifa? tifa is ineffable.

tifa and her kitty cat remind us that not only are we born to die, but the world is a fuck. moreover, metallica's 1983 debut kill em all actually came out in 1989, the 1967 beatles track i am the walrus was, in effect, a metaphorical way of saying i am trash man, and 420,757,864,530 dead cops would be a good number (but, one senses, perhaps still not enough).

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#tifa
#qualitytifacontent
#kittycat
#borntodie
#worldisafuck
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#metallica
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#iamthewalrustrashman
#420trillionplusdeadcops

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 15d

All of 'Xenoblade X's designs' look like the 'action figures' I saw in 'toy stores' when I was 'a kid.' It has 'that feeling' that appeals to
'the teenage boy,' whereas 'Xenogears' is kind of 'gay' ('homosexual') by comparison, more in line with 'stuffy adult stuff,' like 'eating your vegetables.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 16d

I will say, there are 'parts of the world' that don't 'eat human flesh.' I mean, there's a rumor, and I don't know if it's so or not, that 'Cuba,' this is the rumor, they don't 'eat human flesh,' because they don't seem to consider that 'normal' or 'good' to do. And they have virtually no 'autism.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 17d

There’s ‘Santa Claus,’ ‘Shakespeare,’ ‘Mickey Mouse,’ ‘the Bible,’ and ‘then’ there’s ‘Xenogears.’

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 18d

A 'kid' born in '1998' is now '18 years old.'

Let 'that' 'sink in.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 19d

'Funko Pops' are NOT 'toys.' They are COLLECTIBLE ART. Children cannot BEGIN to comprehend the value of these products and WILL mishandle them. One 'Stranger Things Target Exclusive Funko' in the hands of a child is forever 'tarnished and devalued for hundreds of thousands of passionate collectors.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 20d

Some 'alien' 'shacks up' with a 'child' and 'keeps it a secret' and 'shows him his magic finger' and it's 'a box office hit.' 'I' do it and everyone 'loses their minds.'

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Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 21d

In simple terms, a ‘woman’ literally stores the ‘DNA’ of every single ‘man’ she has ever ‘received or absorbed’ ‘semen’ from. Even if there is no ‘intercourse’ at all, she still absorbs their ‘DNA’ via ‘oral.’ The biology of’ women’ is very different from that of ‘men.’

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